Video Game Retrospective -- Machine Games' Wolfenstein (Part 2)

 Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (2017)

To start off, The New Colossus's main menu is plain black text on a white background. After a long loading time you're treated to an opening that will instantly wipe any smile off your face with depictions of domestic abuse, racist tirades, dog-shooting, and life-threatening surgery. First-time players will get the impression that Wolfenstein II is a game that takes itself very seriously (but that'll soon change). Five months after TNO B.J. Blazkowicz awakens from a coma crippled from his wounds sustained during the previous game's finale. The resistance has headquartered itself on the U-boat commandeered in the previous game and after expelling some pesky Nazi boarders they decide to sail to the USA to foment rebellion against the German occupation there. The main villain this time around is Frau Engel who somehow went from failed camp commandant in Croatia to minister of pretty much everything in the US. And yet apart from killing her, you accomplish surprisingly little during this game's story – although it does set up what will probably be a really awesome third game.

A lot of the plot also concerns Blazkowicz learning to deal with his troubled childhood and his own mortality. This is manifested by your limited health in the game's first half: only 50 points maximum. While this does make narrative sense it frustratingly makes the first several levels noticeably more difficult than expected, even going so far as forcing the player to adopt more cautious cover-based tactics. Combine this with B.J.'s poor decisions, rattled state of mind, fabulous eyelashes, and his emotional dependence on women and you get a protagonist who's rather frail by FPS standards. Thankfully this changes in the game's second half: BJ receives a new upgradeable body after surviving decapitation – don't ask – giving the player access to new abilities and further exploration.

The stealth sections of previous games return in overabundance; kill-the-commanders-first areas appear one after the other which is really unfortunate because I found this game's stealth to be more finicky than before. Enemies seem to spot you quicker and from a greater distance; half the time I'm found out I don't even know who spotted me. Multiple stealth areas have two commanders and these parts always place the second commander as obnoxiously far away from your starting position as possible. But once the shooting starts you've got plenty of options at your disposal. Not only is every weapon upgradeable but you can now dual wield almost any combination of weapons through the use of two clunky selection wheels that I tried to avoid using whenever possible. At least dual wielding doesn't slow you down any more and with the right weapons (shotguns, upgraded assault rifles) it turns you into an unstoppable juggernaut. Ammo is now picked up simply by walking over it – a welcome improvement – but armour still sometimes needs to be picked up manually (sometimes, at least). Melee is mostly unchanged, the only difference being that instead of a knife B.J. has started using a hatchet guaranteed to separate limbs from badguy bodies. Regardless of your methods, no enemy in The New Colossus simply falls down dead in one piece. Each kill results in plentiful gibs and buckets of blood splashing everywhere with all the subtlety of Machine Games' political views (more on that later).

While the gunplay remains alright the same can't be said of the level design. While the locations look great thanks to the new id Tech 6 engine, they have no variety at all. Save for the one level where you're walking through a small town's main street, every mission in this game can be described either as a sci-fi/industrial complex or a ruined city. That's it. The only thing keeping the levels from all blending together is the memory of how awful they were to play! This is due to two reasons: the aforementioned difficulty and their excessive length. Area 51 made me despair, Ausmerzer part 2 had me grinding my teeth, and the level on Venus was about the closest thing to digital misery that I've experienced. The only saving grace is that you're able to simply run through some of these overly-long levels without even fighting the enemies, something I found myself doing frequently. In short, TNC's missions make me want to puke and there's not a single one that I look forward to replaying.

This game's hub level, the submarine, isn't as frustrating but equally as perplexing. Like the resistance headquarters in TNO, the submarine is where you'll go to explore, read stuff, eavesdrop on other characters, etc. It scarcely resembles the sub seen in the previous game, with wide open areas, individual suites, and cavernous rooms that more closely parallel an aircraft carrier. And once you learn of the shenanigans and drama that go on here, this place will start to remind you of a trailer park.

You can chalk that up to the game's writing, which could have seriously used another edit or two. Idiot logic abounds. The resistance – the hope of all free men – routinely sends out pregnant and intoxicated soldiers to carry out dangerous missions, barely knows how to sail a submarine, gets really drunk the night before an important mission, and apparently never cared to check and see if there were any remaining Germans hiding on board the boat when they first captured it five months earlier.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the game's humour is downright embarrassing. The jokes are lowbrow and crude, reminiscent of a stoner comedy. There's “jokes” of people getting high, people throwing up, and people having sex in unexpected places. On the sub alone we get not one, not two, but three instances of somebody stinking up a bathroom. There's also numerous WTF moments where the game jumps the shark. One example is this cutscene late in the game in which you see a screaming topless pregnant woman drenched in blood while firing two submachine guns, a scene that's so over-the-top ridiculous that I'm sure it was reverse-engineered just to create this insane visual.

The game's interminable cinematics – which take up several hours of the game's length – suffer as a result. As mentioned earlier the story of The New Colossus deals with some heavy stuff but the serious moments keep getting interrupted and subverted by the stupid humour and cutscenes that try jamming too many different story elements together. The tone and pacing of any given moment is a total crapshoot.

And lastly I have to mention the political overtones. The game tries very hard to make some connection between Nazism and US culture, as if to say that there's something about Americans or white people in general that might make them receptive to national socialism (even though half the US citizen NPCs you encounter clearly detest the new regime). When you notice the year this game was released it's not hard to see what they're really trying to get at – let's just say it rhymes with zonald gump. Female characters keep telling male characters how much they suck, communists are portrayed as freedom-loving heroes, and the badguys are always referred to as “Nazis” and nothing else. Never do you hear the words kraut, jerry, boche, or hun (more common names for Hitler's foot soldiers), and the only time you'll hear the word German is in reference to the language, not the nationality. When you consider all this in combination with the excessive gore you wind up with a game that takes self-righteous gratification in its simplistic portrayal of society, race relations, and occupation politics. Was this game written by a collective of Twitter addicts? Unlike some gamers I'm OK with having political themes in video games but don't make them so ham-fisted and one-sided that it becomes a nuisance.

There are plenty of other things I could complain about – the lacklustre collectibles, the obnoxious music, unlikeable characters – but I think I've made my case clear. Wolfenstein II was a huge disappointment. When it rigidly sticks to just letting you shoot badguys it's a fine game, but the problem is that you've got to wade through an unfair challenge, awful level design, a nonsensical story, sanctimonious politics, and dumbass humour in order to reach the fun parts. Just like TNO, TNC has alternate timelines but no way am I playing this thing again! I'll just watch the alternate cutscenes on YouTube.

Wolfenstein: Youngblood (2019)

The warning signs were there; gamers did not take kindly to Youngblood. I read the negative reviews and I saw the disenchanted YouTubers. I saw the 2.6 (out of 10) user score on Metacritic. And yet I played the game anyways and I must confess I actually kind of liked it. Maybe I was intrigued by the game's unique design or maybe it's because it compared favourably to the offensively joyless slog that came immediately before it. Either way my time spent with Youngblood was overall positive. Here's why.

Youngblood takes place in 1980. The USA has been liberated, Blazkowicz has killed Hitler -- unceremoniously, and offscreen as well --  and the Third Reich's domain now only covers Europe (again, this is probably being saved for Wolfenstein III). B.J. has disappeared from his Mesquite, Texas, home leaving behind Anya and their twin daughters Soph and Jess. The girls, along with Grace's daughter Abby, get word that he may have travelled to Neu-Paris to help the resistance there and so the three of them follow BJ's trail and lend their aid to liberate the city of lights.

The most immediate difference this game has to previous titles is that for the first time you're not playing as B.J. Blazkowicz, you play as either Jess (the stealthier sharpshooter type) or Soph (the in-your-face-brawler type). Since neither are seasoned killers like their dad, they need to learn effective soldiering as evidenced by the skills tree you'll progress through. Some of these skills you unlock are quite helpful such as the ones which allow collectibles to appear on your mini map or allow you to deal damage to foes by simply charging into them. However it can feel a bit clumsy at the start to not have basic skills such as the ability to dual wield. But on the plus-side, your character wears the power suit throughout the whole game, allowing you to double-jump, ground pound, and even go invisible for a few seconds.

But the one aspect of the Blazkowicz twins that stole everyone's attention was their personalities. On one hand they've got a down-to-earth folksiness to them reminiscent of their homeland, and on the other hand they're a couple of naive and sometimes crass teenagers. The banter between them seems really genuine for teenage siblings, full of awkward nerdiness and spunk yet occasionally ruminating on the current state of their world. Flashing a friendly hand gesture to the other sister will grant a “pep” bonus – such as increased health or armour – which triggers lines like “hell yeah, dude” or “you're slayin' it!” I can see how Jess and Soph might be grating for some players but the low-hanging fruit of Beavis and Butthead comparisons are unfair. To me the “terror twins” are endearingly dorky, truly one of Youngblood's highlights.

The gunplay has also been refined. To my recollection, there's only two weapons that can be dual-wielded which makes weapon switching faster and less complicated. The weapons are even more modular than before; you can customize the stock, receiver, muzzle, sights, and magazine using upgrades from different brands which can grant different bonuses. You can even apply different skins to your weapons – though it's a shame that the best skins are hidden behind paywalls. These upgrades are purchased using money which can be found throughout the game's world and attained using the series' most convenient pickup system yet. Money must be picked up manually but the pickup button's range is generous enough, and as for health, ammo, and armour all you have to do is walk over it. Amazing, isn't it? It took four tries but Machine Games finally got it right.

As mentioned earlier the game is set in the early 1980's because what isn't these days? I think retro 80's culture is more popular today than it was in the 80's! At least Youngblood doesn't beat you over the head with neon pink bikinis and Lamborghinis. Still, the game throws in some great understated synth-driven music and the collectibles are delightfully retro: 3.5 inch disks, 3D glasses, cassette tapes, and UVK (i.e. VHS) tapes. The vibe is more restrained and European in character which makes sense given the setting – there might be as much French and German spoken in this game as there is English, not to mention there isn't as much current-day political pandering this time around. (Although the readables do contain a Donald Trump joke because of course they do, haha haha, those never get old.)

But enough about the positives, let's get to the gripes. Aside from the new player characters Youngblood's other uniqueness is its structure and flow: it's an open world game. The ultimate objective is to get inside Lab X where B.J. is supposedly holed up but in order to enter it the Blazkowicz sisters need to infiltrate and deactivate all three of the “Brother” Towers' defence systems. Theoretically one could try tackling these levels right away but without any weapons upgrades and additional skills your chances aren't that great. So you've got to level yourself up by completing quests and incidental side missions. This gives rise to two problems; firstly, for most of the game there isn't much story going on. In fact, there isn't really a villain until the last level. What's worse, this makes the game repetitive and this isn't helped by the fact that the world you have to play in is pretty small. Giving players multiple paths to approach combat situations doesn't change the fact that they're going to be fighting enemies in the same exact locations again and again. You also don't have a map so getting lost can happen from time to time. Additionally, every level takes place on foot so there's not much variety to be found. After the first hour or two you'll have already experienced pretty much all this game has to offer aside from the more advanced skills and weapons upgrades.

The reason for this monotony comes from the fact that Wolfenstein: Youngblood was going after the “live services” trend that was popular late last decade in which non-linear games were made with repetitive gameplay loops in order to get players playing online day after day after day. Games of this genre – like Anthem and Fallout 76 – tend to be lifeless and boring and while Youngblood isn't nearly as bad as those games it's easy to spot their influence. Like other live service shooters, this one has bullet-sponge enemies with health bars above their heads, bugs and glitches, microtransactions, and gameplay boosters. But on the plus side it does have coop and can be purchased at a discount by the second player (the “buddy pass”). One could argue that since it's a spinoff and not a main game in the series Youngblood's unique game design is acceptable. But does it make the game fun? That's the real concern.

Personally I think this game is alright. This latest Wolfenstein game has its share of strengths as well as some weaknesses; it avoided the problems that plagued The New Colossus but its design was neither inspired nor captivating. As stated earlier I enjoyed my time with it but once the end credits rolled I felt no desire to replay it and I probably won't for some time. If nothing else, at least they didn't make any of those uninspired French surrender jokes.

So that's the Machine Games Wolfenstein saga. We've seen some ups and some downs. I'm eager to see what Wolfenstein III will be like but I also appreciate the developers' willingness to take a chance with the two spinoff games. Hopefully this series is one that can get back in the saddle and blow us all away like it's done before.

Video Game Retrospective -- Machine Games' Wolfenstein (Part 1)

 It's been a hot minute since I wrote anything about video games. I've still been playing them – not much else to do this past year, right? – and I also finally got around to getting an 8^th generation console, a PlayStation 4. Back in July 2018 I published a list of my favourite video games ever and you may remember that that list included Wolfenstein: The New Order. With my more advanced console I now had the opportunity to play through all the recent Wolfenstein titles developed by Machine Games and published by Bethesda. Now that I've experienced them all I've found that I have a lot to say about them. I'm going to sum up all four of these games and give you my impression of them. This is an article I've been looking forward to writing so let's get started, in release order. SPOILERS AHEAD!

Wolfenstein: The New Order (2014)

A reboot of this venerable first-person shooter series, The New Order (TNO) had me hooked from the start. The slick menus, rockin' theme song, and humourous difficulty selection made a good first impression before the story had even begun. The game starts in 1946 with US special forces operative B.J. Blazkowicz taking part in the Allies' desperate all-out assault on the fortress of General Wilhelm Strasse (AKA Deathshead) whose fantastic technological advancements have given the Axis powers the edge in the war in Europe. Despite your best efforts the Allies fail and B.J. manages a narrow escape but is left in a vegetative state due to a severe head wound. He wakes up 14 years later to a world that has mostly been taken over by the Third Reich and the rest of the game revolves around his joining the resistance and bringing down Deathshead once and for all. And that's just the surface of The New Order's story; there are plenty of letters, newspaper clippings, unlockables, and audio logs that further flesh out this frightening world. It's also a world populated with some neat characters. Each good guy has their own reasons for why they rebel against the Nazi regime and its agents. General Strasse is an excellent villain. His affinity for human experimentation and callous disregard for human life make him the embodiment of pure evil. This brings me to The New Order's tone which is surprisingly well-balanced. In spite of its over-the-top premise and its overall adventurous feeling the game still addresses the moral implications of what a world ruled by Nazis would look like. TNO doesn't shy away from depicting the brutality of national socialism and the tragedy the characters face while at the same time it contains a bit of tongue-in-cheek flavouring just to let you know that this is merely a video game. This results in a variety of levels that will take you from a concentration camp all the way to a research base on the moon in a manner that's believable enough.

If you find yourself hooked by the story and premise then you'll be pleased to know that there's actually two different timelines to The New Order that the player chooses early on: the Wyatt timeline and the Fergus timeline, named after the character you decide to save in the opening level. Not only does each timeline have its own set of cutscenes but it also has exclusive side characters as well as exploration abilities, thus ensuring that your second playthrough will be a different experience than the first. Completionists rejoice.

I think my favourite level in TNO is the one taking place inside the tight confines of a U-boat which really gives the shotgun a chance to shine (too bad it's such a short level!). The weapons are the type you'd expect in a first-person shooter – pistol, shotgun, assault rifle, sniper rifle, grenades – but each of them has an alternate fire mode which adds variety. The most unique weapon is the laserkraftwerk which can either be fired as a laser gun or used as a torch to open up new areas for exploration.

TNO takes the form of an old-school shooter game: you can carry every weapon at once (using a selection wheel to switch) and there's a health and armour bar in place of regenerating health. The game uses a light cover system: to take cover simply stand in front of something and hold the aim button and BJ will peek out in the direction indicated by an arrow. Most of the time the cover system works fine but every so often it will force B.J.'s aim to snap to an empty spot straight ahead. The game makes use of a perk system which rewards players for performing actions such as a certain number of kills from cover or a certain number of grenade kills. These rewards take the form of passive stat boosters like higher damage, faster movement, and bigger magazines just to name a few. There are perks that support different playstyles. Charging in guns blazing is as valid an option as sneaking around and taking enemies out silently. Every so often you'll come across a section where there's an enemy commander who will call for reinforcements if he spots you, so you'll want to take him out as soon as possible. This forces the player to be more discreet, however the tools at your disposal – suppressed pistol, throwing knives, melee attacks – make the stealthy approach an inviting choice.

What isn't a choice is the game's clunky pickup system. In order to obtain ammo, health, armour, and collectibles you need to press the action button when prompted. The pickup prompts have a decent range – almost too decent in fact, as a prompt often pops up for something you can't even see. But picking up ammo from fallen enemies can be a bit of a hassle since they only drop minuscule amounts of bullets (often in the single digit range). I frequently found myself backtracking through a room I've just cleared while mashing the pickup button just to make restocking easier.

What's worse is the game's technical performance. The New Order runs on the id Tech 5 engine which was starting to show its age by 2014. Apart from the weapon models the graphics are lacklustre and objects that are on walls and tables are merely rendered as part of those surfaces in embarrassingly low resolution! There's also some bugs to be found. Some are harmless, others are not; I once had to restart a whole level due to a platform not raising which prevented me from opening a mission-critical gate. And this was just on Xbox 360 and PS4; I've heard that things were even worse on PC.

In spite of its flaws, Wolfenstein: The New Order is still an exquisite game that I'll play any day. I eagerly downloaded the next one to see what Machine Games next had in store.

Wolfenstein: The Old Blood (2015)

If you liked the opening level of The New Order then this game is for you. If you liked 2001's Return to Castle Wolfenstein (RTCW) then this game is for you too. I fit into both these categories so as you can imagine I was very pleased with The Old Blood (TOB). Set immediately prior to TNO, this game has B.J. Blazkowicz and Agent One infiltrating Castle Wolfenstein to learn the location of Deathshead's compound, the destruction of which might save the Allies from certain defeat. Unfortunately your cover is blown rather quickly and the two agents are taken prisoner so it's up to B.J. to break out, accomplish his mission, and escape in one piece.

I've always believed that Wolfenstein works best when it's rooted in the Second World War and The Old Blood succeeds in that task with flying colours, just like RTCW. The environments are recognizable for their period, with medieval villages and weapons of made of wood and steel. More than any other game in this franchise TOB makes you think about the people you're fighting thanks to their interesting banter and thought-provoking readables. (This is in sharp contrast to the rest of the games mentioned here in which the Germans are all one-track idiots who have nothing interesting to say.) The RTCW vibes are strengthened with the welcome inclusion of the occult elements encountered later in the game.

If you're planning on playing all Machine Games titles in this series I'd recommend starting with The Old Blood and not simply for chronological purposes. As it's a brief, stand-alone expansion to TNO it shares a lot of similarities with its predecessor including the same perk system, user interface, menu design, graphics, and manual pickup process (not to mention technical issues). However, TOB does away with cinematics, dual timelines, and globetrotting and instead presents a single unbroken perspective taking place in one geographic area over just a couple days with a more sombre tone and less over-the-top plot. Rather than “stripped-down” I think the game can be better described as a more intimate experience compared to the other games in this series. While it may be brief, The New Blood is an excellent addition to the series that I have no problem recommending to any fan of first-person shooter games.

Can't wait to see what comes next!

My Top 10 Favourite Splinter Cell Levels

L-R: Paris-Nice, Cargo Ship, Third Echelon Headquarters

It sure has been a while since we've had a new Splinter Cell game. Wouldn't it be nice to get a new one for the first time since 2013? Oh well, I guess until then we can reminisce about the past games in this excellent stealth-action series of video games. I recently played through Chaos Theory and Blacklist and while I've already gone through and ranked all the games from worst to best on this blog (in January 2016), this time I thought it'd be fun to look at individual levels from the series that have really stood out to me. These are my picks for the top 10 levels in Splinter Cell games.

Dishonourable mention: Kalinatek (Splinter Cell), Diwaniya, Iraq (Conviction)

Honourable mention: Oil Refinery (Splinter Cell), Shanghai (Double Agent), American Consumption (Blacklist), Hawkins Seafort (Blacklist)

10. Seoul (Chaos Theory)

The eighth level in the series' best entry, Seoul shows us a startling look at what might happen if the Korean War ever broke out into armed conflict again. Sam Fisher is tasked with making his way through communist-occupied Seoul to steal information from South Korea's national data trunk. This involves navigating destroyed buildings and sabotaging KPA communications. Things turn sour as a US spy plane is shot down nearby and before Sam can extract he has to destroy the plane so that its contents aren't discovered by either side. To do this Sam has to wade further into the active warzone complete with firefights, tanks, and deadly UAVs . Danger is everywhere, there are no friends. As William Redding says at the mission's start, “there aren't any alarms to worry about, but anyone you encounter will... already be alert.” As a result it can be tricky to tell if you've been seen or not but I still think of this one as a decent level to mess about in. War: it's fantastic.

9. Cargo Ship (Chaos Theory)

Don't worry, these won't all be levels from Chaos Theory. Cargo Ship might just be the SC level that I've played the most. It's an easy level to figure out but more importantly it's one of those levels that are fully accessible from start to finish: if you're near the end and you realize you've forgotten something there's nothing stopping you from going back to the beginning. I also love the idea of a level set on a ship at sea. There's 36 bad guys (I think) and there's no way out... for them. Sometimes I would go out of my way to see if I could find and kill all of them. Failing to do that I would instead try knocking them out and leaving their unconscious bodies in weird places, such as in a freezer or leaving Hugo Lacerda's dead body in the same cabin where I knocked out the captain. I also liked checking the sticky camera I left in Lacerda's cabin just to see if his bodyguards were still waiting silently for him to get them a drink. All in all, Cargo Ship is a fun level that's basically a playground.

8. Presidential Palace (Splinter Cell)

As the finale to the first game in the series, Presidential Palace doesn't disappoint. There's tons of guards patrolling everywhere, lots of rooms where guards will enter suddenly, and there's even a few dogs you'll have to avoid. You'll get to take President Nikoladze hostage for a few moments before assassinating him later on. In short, it's a tense level that serves as a suitable capstone to a fine classic game... even if I died dozens of times falling off the cliffs at the beginning due to that tricky double-jump.

7. Bathhouse (Chaos Theory)

The longest and most difficult level in Chaos Theory, Bathhouse is an exercise in patience thanks to its many hard sections and sometimes unpredictable lighting. In the lobby room (the one with the scaffolding), the pool room, and the hallway with the two factions fighting eachother it seems like a crapshoot whether the badguys spot you or not. I've since learned to make use of smoke grenades in such tricky sections. My advice: save frequently. Remaining undetected and nonlethal in Bathhouse is certainly not an easy thing to do, especially in the end section when you have to disarm bombs in a boiler room with roaming commandos. But seeing the 100% success rating once it's all over feels so satisfying. In addition to providing some fine challenge, this mission is also quite story-heavy with some shocking twists and a thrilling ending. It's a wonder they didn't save Bathhouse as the final level in the game.

6. Bank (Chaos Theory)

I swear this is the last Chaos Theory level on this list. What can I say, it's an excellent game with some really fun levels. One of them is the MCAS Bank in Panama where Sam Fisher has to break in to discover who's been bankrolling Lacerda's revolutionaries. But in order to cover up these intentions Fisher also has to crack the vault and steal some bearer bonds and make it look like an inside job. It's a clever setup for what's basically a bank heist mission carried out by the NSA. Just like the Cargo Ship mission there's a variety of ways you can approach each objective and you're free to tackle each one in whichever order you want. I've had hours of fun with this level avoiding lasers, hacking every computer, and even flooding the vault with the sprinkler system. Not only is Bank the only level in the series where you get to use the telemetric lock pick, but it's one of only two levels in Chaos Theory were I managed to complete it while leaving all enemies undisturbed (the other one being Displace). That's right: I completed this level without touching anyone. Try it out yourself!

5. CIA HQ (Splinter Cell)

You knew this one was coming. In a game about sneaking around places where you're not supposed to be, what could be a more appropriate setting than the headquarters of the CIA? A lot of the levels on the original Splinter Cell are ordinary office buildings which gets kind of old, but CIA HQ mixes things up with ventilation rooms, supply closets, server rooms, and patrolled hallways. It can also be rather difficult (just like all the levels of that first game); you're not allowed to kill anyone, you have to retrieve your SC-2000 rifle, and the level's exit is teeming with enemies. The only downside is that you have to haul some unconscious dude on your back an awfully long way to the end. Also the lighting in this level works a bit wonkily at times. But apart from that CIA HQ is a fine level that epitomizes the first Splinter Cell game.

4. Paris-Nice (Pandora Tomorrow)

There's something about train levels in video games that certainly bring a nice change of pace. Perhaps it's the confinement that makes the action more focused and immediate. That's exactly the effect that the Pairs-Nice level has in Pandora Tomorrow. Not only do you have to avoid detection inside the cramped quarters of a French high-speed train, but you'll also be crossing the train's undercarriage, shimmying along the sides as other trains rocket by just inches away, and running along its roof. This level is easily one of the most unique missions in the whole series. No wonder this is such a popular one.

3. Los Angeles, California (Pandora Tomorrow)

It's a shame that this level doesn't get as much love from the SC community as other levels do because I think Pandora Tomorrow's finale is brilliant. Sam has to sneak through Los Angeles International Airport to intercept Norman Soth and his goons before they have a chance to set off their smallpox bombs. But if just one alarm goes off the terrorists will detonate their bomb and it's all over so there's no room for mistakes. I love the idea of a level set in a public place. Not only do you have to avoid the gaze of a variety of people – terrorists, security guards, airport employees, and random civilians – but the bad guys are all in disguise so you have to seek them out before making your move. You do this through your goggles' thermal vision since the bad guys' smallpox vaccines give them a higher-than-normal body temperature. It's a simple mechanic but I always thought it was cool. And once you complete the pulse-pounding ending the day is saved and LA can rest easy. Pandora Tomorrow isn't a game that I'm terribly fond of but this LAX level goes some way towards redeeming it.

2. Third Echelon Headquarters (Conviction)

As I've mentioned in earlier articles, Conviction may not be as traditionally stealthy as other Splinter Cell games but it can still provide an intense and thrilling gameplay experience. This is why the Third Echelon Headquarters mission stands out to me. From the no-detection-allowed opening to the sneaking through patrolled office areas, to defending yourself from waves of goggled commandos, there's plenty of tense moments to this level that will have you on the edge of your seat. This is also quite possibly the most badass Sam Fisher has ever been. Not only does he have unlimited Mark & Executes at the end, not only does he interrogate (i.e. beat up) Andrei Kobin, but he also delivers the line “I used to work here,” to the receptionist just before detonating some bombs in his former workplace. That's right, Sam has gone rogue. As if that wasn't enough he learns the truth about what happened to his daughter Sarah and that Lambert, his friend that he was forced to kill, lied to him about it. True, the words flashing on the walls during this scene come off as a bit cheesy. Nevertheless, Third Echelon Headquarters is great story-driven level that has some really gripping gameplay to keep me coming back again and again.

1. Special Missions HQ (Blacklist)

This may be a bit of a surprise. I like Blacklist but I find that it doesn't have many standout levels to it apart from this. That may be because, as you've noticed by now, I like Splinter Cell levels that take place in special forces/intelligence headquarters. They make for a great you're-not-supposed-to-be-here vibe that really make you want to play through them flawlessly. Achieving ghost mastery on perfectionist difficulty in this mission is very difficult but extremely satisfying once you pull it off. But what makes Special Missions HQ so special (no pun intended)? Well, Sam Fisher has to infiltrate Quds Force headquarters to manually retrieve data concerning Iran's ties to the Blacklist attacks in order to prevent the US from declaring war. To do this he has to gain entry by extorting a general, taking to the shadows once the general betrays him and the alarms are set off, downloading the data from an airtight server room, and then wading through room after room after room – each one full of bad guys furiously searching for him. You'll deal with all manner of enemies from regular guys to heavy armoured guys, commandos, and even dogs. It'll test your stealth skills to the limit. It's not a perfect level – the UAV part at the end seems a bit gratuitous and it's a roll of the dice whether you'll be detected or not once the alarms go off – but Special Missions HQ is still an exciting level that's well worth your time.

My Top 20 Favourite Video Games Ever (Part 2)

Sorry about the delay. I had some computer issues a couple weeks ago but it's all good now. Let's take a look at numbers 10 to 1.

10. Brothers in Arms: Earned in Blood (Xbox, 2005)

I've already written at length about the Brothers in Arms series (back in March 2016) so I won't go too much into detail here, but suffice it to say I think BIA is a great underrated series for fans of tactical shooters. Road to Hill 30 (2005) was a good debut but it was just a bit too linear. Hell's Highway (2008) had a great story but wasn't challenging enough. For me it's the second game, Earned in Blood, that holds the trilogy's crown. It upped the ante in terms of smarter enemies, enthralling storytelling, and more open-ended levels that made you think more. Not to mention it had more multiplayer modes and even multiplayer bots. All three BIA games are fun but if you're thinking of just getting one, Earned in Blood is my recommendation.

9. Splinter Cell: Blacklist (Xbox 360, 2013)

If you've read my Splinter Cell game rankings (January 2016) then this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. While Blacklist isn't a perfect game it is hard to deny the amount of effort put into it, not to mention the amount of fun you'll get out of it. In a return to the series' signature form, it combines the fluid gameplay of Conviction (2010) with the stealth and level design of the original trilogy (2002-05). A strong contender for most replayable game in the series, Blacklist is bursting with content: in addition to the single-player campaign, there's a coop campaign and an additional twelve levels that can be completed either solo or coop. Combine this with the three different playstyles and you've got a game you'll be playing for a long time. Overall, Blacklist is a fun and accessible game that I would recommend to anyone curious about the stealth game genre.

8. RollerCoaster Tycoon (PC, 1999)

And now for something completely different. I mean, this list can't all be console action games! RollerCoaster Tycoon is an addicting game that I still get out and play from time to time. There's so many fun things to do, it's a game that you can easily lose yourself in. By customizing the names of the park/rides I would make parks with ridiculous themes like King of the Hill quotes or a cyborg revolt against humanity. Whenever guests would die in a roller coaster crash I would build a statue and plant tons of flowers around it, rebuild a new roller coaster in its place, and give it a name that had the word “memorial” in it. Sometimes I would hire about 20 or so guys in animal costumes and have them all patrol the same little strip of footpath, mobbing any guests who tried to pass through. I'd always make at least one ride that was called “Pooping my pants” so that when the guests got off it they'd all say “Pooping my pants was great!” And sometimes if time was running out and my guest count wasn't high enough I'd dig a hole, wrangle up all the people who were thinking “I want to go home”, and drop them into the hole from which they had no means of escape! And all this stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. RollerCoaster Tycoon is a timeless game that never gets old. If you've never tried it before, consider picking it up sometime. You will not be disappointed.

7. NHL 2002 (PC, 2001)

Like most Canadian boys, I grew up playing a healthy amount of hockey... video games. I'm not particularly good at sports in real life so instead I kicked ass on virtual ice with the NHL games -- or "chell" as I like to call it. I've played NHL 98, 99, 2002, Hitz 2003, 2004, 2005, 07, 12, and 17 in varying amounts and out of all of those I've gotten the most enjoyment out of NHL 2002 (with 99 as a close second). This was back when the NHL games weren't trying too hard to be realistic. The players didn't move around slugishly and lethargicly and the contols weren't overly complicated. 2002 is a fast-paced game, just as a hockey game should be. The movement is fluid, the hits are devastating, and the slapstick colour commentary featuring Don Taylor is amusing. For (I believe) the first time in the NHL series you could choose which jersey each team would wear, which as a fan of both retro hockey and the Vancouver Canucks (the NHL team with the most uniform changes) I found to be awesome. Another awesome thing was the trading card system – which if it was done in today's NHL video games, I guarantee it would be tied into loot boxes or other such microtransaction BS – which allowed you to unlock mods and cheats. These mods included silly things such as sumo suits, big heads, higher/lower pitch voices, and my personal favourite, Shrink n' Grow. In this mode players shrink when they're hit and grow when they score goals, and after a few minutes it makes for a hilarious match. It's this whole arcade style of gameplay and presentation that is so sorely missing from recent games in the NHL series. But if you ever want to go back to a simpler time when sports games didn't have to take themselves seriously then NHL 2002 has got you covered.

6. Batman: Arkham City (Xbox 360, 2011)

From a purely objective point of view Batman: Arkham City may be the best video game I've ever played. It's definitely the open world game I've played through the most and one of the very few games in which I found every collectible. In this game Batman takes on Arkham City, an open-air prison full of common crooks, political prisoners, undercover cops, and of course a whole bunch of supervillains. This open world isn't terribly large but it is amazing how much stuff is packed into it including collectible Riddler trophies, Riddler riddles, AR challenges, side missions, destructible objects, hostages who need rescuing, crime scenes to investigate, mysteries to solve, and prisoners to beat up. And the world you're playing in is really fleshed out with all sorts of characters who each have their own backstories. Also the progression system is rewarding since it unlocks new combat moves and gadgets, encouraging further exploration and replays. And did I mention that Catwoman and Robin each have their own campaigns too? The developers' attention to detail in Arkham City is commendable; they've made a game you can spend a ton of time with. If I was stranded on a deserted island and I could only have three games to play there, Batman: Arkham City would easily be one of them.

5. Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (Xbox, 2005)

I've written about this game before (January 2016) and everyone seems to agree that Chaos Theory is easily the best game of the Splinter Cell series. So let me tell you about why I rank it as one of my favourites. It's a game that makes you think for yourself. The most obvious path to your objective is often the most dangerous and difficult and so you must learn to find your own way through the levels and make use of things in the environment that you normally wouldn't notice. It encourages you to explore for hidden paths. In short, it makes you think like Sam Fisher would. It's what makes completing a level with a 100% success rating feel so satisfying. Chaos Theory was the first Splinter Cell game I played and I'll admit I got stumped a lot. But I persevered, eventually beating it and all the other SC games. Looking back I have to say that this was the Splinter Cell with the best soundtrack, the best level design, and the fairest challenge. It's no wonder why this game is liked by so many people.

4. Gears of War 2 (Xbox 360, 2008)

What can you say about Gears of War 2? It's just a good game, as simple as that. I've played all games in the Gears series except 4 and I believe that Gears 2 was the best of them. It was more refined, varied, and graphically impressive than the first Gears. It was more hardcore, serious, and fun than the third Gears. (For the record, I really liked GOW: Judgment, I just thought it was a bit short.) GOW 2's campaign can accurately be described as a badass simulator, chainsawing vicious foes, firing powerful-sounding weapons, and delivering brutal execution moves all along an interesting plot that takes you to unexpected places. And then there was the multiplayer which I sunk a ton of hours into; seriously, GOW 2 is one of the two games I've spent the most time playing (#1 on this list is the other game). The maps were great and the game modes were even greater. My personal favourite was King of the Hill on Ruins. Gears of War 2 was my introduction to the Gears series back in 2008 and I've been hooked ever since.

3. Civilization III (PC, 2001)

Strategy is a genre I don't play all that often but when I find a good strategy game I stick with it. Just like RollerCoaster Tycoon, Civilization III is a highly addicting game that I've been playing on and off for a decade and a half now. In Civ 3 you build up an empire by establishing cities, controlling resources, trading with other nations, managing productivity, keeping your people happy, and defeating opposing civilizations in battle. It's a game that is rich in detail and deep in terms of gameplay. Each civilization has its own distinct personality thanks to unique military units, historical leader figures, and civilization traits. For example France – the one I played the most because I seemed to do the best with – is an industrious and commercial society led by Joan of Arc and can produce musketeers. It's also really fun to see your empire progress through eras of history, learning scientific advancements which can support new city improvements and military units. Declaring war gives you a rush like nothing else, but it's not a decision to make lightly. Getting into the wrong conflict can have serious consequences! There are several different ways of winning the game, which supports different play styles and strategies, making replays a must. It's a game that never stops giving.

2. Halo 2 (Xbox, 2004)

My first few exposures to Halo 2 were always as I was hanging out at friends' houses playing the multiplayer. The game's presentation was the first thing that struck me: the jaw-dropping sound effects, the captivating music, the crisp blue menus, the multiplayer voice guy, the cool weapons, and the heavy-duty looking player characters just blew my mind. When I got around to getting my own copy of the game I quickly came to the conclusion that Halo 2 is the coolest game ever made. Though I hadn't yet played Halo: Combat Evolved (2001) I found Halo 2's story and universe to be fascinating. With such likeable characters, interesting enemies, and great locations I found the experience quite immersive. And the gameplay was fantastic also. The Legendary difficulty setting on Halo 2 was notoriously hard – full retard, basically – but after years of learning the intricacies of combat and all the right tactics I eventually beat the sucker on its most challenging setting. Conquering one of my favourite games on an infamously brutal difficulty: that made me proud. Although Halo 2's multiplayer mode was technically outclassed by its successor it is still a phenomenally awesome multiplayer suite, one that my friends and I still play occasionally.

1. Star Wars: Battlefront II (Xbox, 2005)

Please note, I said 2005, not 2017, as if that greedy pile of vomit deserves to share the name of this gem of a game. No, son. This is the classic Star Wars shooter game that deserves your attention, money and time. And that it has gotten; Battlefront II, along with Gears of War 2, is one the games I have played the most. My disc has got so many scratches on it it's a miracle my Xbox still runs it! I grew up during the prequel age of Star Wars and it was pretty awesome. The movies weren't the greatest but we still liked them. The video games were even better and we ate them up. In 2005 there came along an intense third-person shooter that put you into the boots of the soldiers fighting in all the franchise's big battles from episode I to VI. It was busy, chaotic, and fun. You had so many maps, several game modes, space battles, and even heroes from the movies one could play as. You could be Darth Maul cutting down clone troopers by the hundreds with your doublesaber like a one-man army, but sometimes it was more fun to just be an ordinary engineer sneaking behind enemy lines capturing command posts, trying to survive on your own with nothing but your shotgun, your health packs, and your wit to keep you going. You could hop in the AT-AT walkers on Hoth and blow up everything and everyone, or you could be a sniper holding out as long as you could at the shield generator base on Endor. In space battles you could land a squad aboard the enemy's flagship and destroy its systems from the inside or you could get in a starfighter and just fly around and shoot down enemy ships. In addition to multiplayer there was also the Risk-like strategy war game Galactic Conquest (which I don't think I ever completed when played against my brothers, we were just too good to fail!) and the undercooked but still enjoyable singleplayer campaign. With so many things to do and so many different ways of doing them it's no wonder I spent so much time having fun with Star Wars: Battlefront II. It's just that good.

Thanks for reading

My Top 20 Favourite Video Games Ever (Part 1)

This is it, the one list that every gamer wants to make yet despairs when the time actually comes to make it. I'm talking about a ranked list of my personal favourite video games, that games that have given me the most enjoyment over the years, the games that I (almost) never get tired of playing. Making this list wasn't easy; in fact I'm still not sure about the order I've got here. (It'll probably have changed by the time I'm done writing this!) But such is the fate of an entirely subjective list based on preferences that aren't easily quantifiable. Let's do this!

Honourable mentions: Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare (2007), Guitar Hero: World Tour (2008), Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis (2005), Star Wars: Republic Commando (2005)

20. Brütal Legend (Xbox 360, 2009)

If you haven't heard of Brutal Legend then I apologize in advance because my words here won't do it justice. You play as Eddie Riggs, voiced by Jack Black, the greatest roadie the world has ever seen as he gets transported back in time to a world inspired by heavy metal album covers. Armed with his lightning-summoning guitar and his trusty battle axe it's up to him to lead the human resistance and defeat hordes of demons, glam rock sellouts, and goth panzies. With its face-melting soundtrack, impressive voice cast, cool character design, jaw-dropping environments, and fun sense of humour Brutal Legend is a game that you'll want to explore every nook and cranny of. It does have a few downsides: the graphics are low-res and light on details, the side missions are repetitive, and the control scheme is a bit puzzling at times. (There's no jump button. Also it took me 2.5 playthroughs before I found out there was a sprint button!) Still, Brutal Legend manages to be a pretty fun game that serves as a heartfelt tribute to heavy metal subculture. Rock on.

19. Ultimate Spider-Man (Xbox, 2005)

Ultimate Spider-Man is a game that has a lot of sentimental value to me. It was the first video game I ever bought with money that I'd earned from a job. At the time I was a huge fan of the Ultimate Spider-Man comic series and I frequently compared myself to Peter Parker in middle school (I wasn't in high school yet). I had previously played the games based on the Spider-Man movies, but they didn't exactly blow me away perhaps because of their non-original stories and sometimes clunky controls. But Ultimate Spider-Man had none of those problems; it was like Spider-Man 2 (2004) but with more refined controls, an original story, more rewarding collectibles/unlocks, and a dazzling art design. And did I mention that you can also play as Venom? Needless to say, this game was one the coolest things in the world to my 15 year-old self. Sure its open world wasn't as big as the previous game's and it could be frustratingly difficult at times but that didn't hinder the feeling of truly being in a story of the Ultimate comic series. Excelsior, true believers!

   18. Call of Duty: Black Ops (Xbox 360, 2010)

Alternate history is one of my favourite subgenres of fiction, one that I wish video games would do way more often. This is probably why I like Black Ops so much. The Cold War is such an enthralling era of history which doesn't have all that many games focusing on it. Anyone who says that video games can't be educational needs to play this game. If it weren't for Black Ops I might never have learned about things such as the Vorkuta Gulag, the Baikonur Cosmodrome, Kowloon's walled city, MK Ultra, and Rebirth Island. And it's all wrapped up into a gripping story in which the fate of the world is at stake. As if that wasn't enough Black Ops has by far my preferred CoD multiplayer mode and it even has Dead Ops Arcade, a four-player overhead twin stick shooter that's way more fun than it has any right to be! This game has so much bang for your buck it's unreal.

   17. The Simpsons: Road Rage (Xbox, 2001)

You might be thinking “Tony, what the heck is this game doing on a list like this?” I'll admit, Simpsons: Road Rage is a simple game, one that wasn't meant to be played for hours on end. It's basically a ripoff of Crazy Taxi, in which you take control of Simpsons characters and pickup passengers and shuttle them to their destinations around Springfield as quickly as possible. Successful runs award the player with more cash (i.e. high scores) which allow the player to unlock more locations and playable characters each with their own vehicle. Sounds simple, right? That's because I haven't told you about one on one mode! In this mode two players compete to be the one to deliver more passengers. It involves ramming the other player to steal the passenger, a lot of detours to lose your opponent, and a ton of sneaky manoeuvres to try to shake off your pursuer. I play this game a lot with my brothers and when you get two experienced players facing off it makes for an intense, sweat-inducing game. Seriously, if you can find this game on the cheap its two-player mode easily makes it worth a try.

    16. Doom 3 (Xbox, 2005)

This is some serious crap. I don't play horror-type games often but I thoroughly enjoyed Doom 3's campaign which is set in a dark, creepy research facility on Mars that's been invaded by demons and monsters from hell. The scary enemies that spawn from nowhere without warning, the inability to hold a weapon and the flashlight at the same time, and the unnerving sounds one can hear are extremely effective at putting the player on edge. This is one of the very few “silent protagonist” games in which I felt truly immersed. I think this is due to two things: the outstanding sound design and the PDA. Early on, the player is given a PDA through which they can read emails and listen to audio logs that are found throughout the game. In addition to providing security clearance and helpful tips (such as supplies storage), these emails and audio logs offer significant story details and really help flesh out the world you're playing in. While I do have a couple gripes with this game – the enemies who constantly respawn behind you do get rather annoying, plus weapon switching can be cumbersome at times – I still have tons of fun with Doom 3. Horror developers, take note.

    15. Forza Motorsport 4 (Xbox 360, 2011)

I've played plenty of Forza games and while they're all very finely crafted racing simulators I'd have to hold up Motorsport 4 as my preferred title of the series. It's more detailed and varied than Forza Motorsport (2005), less restrictive than Forza Motorsport 3 (2009), and is more straightforward than Forza Horizon (2012). The variety of tracks and cars available were phenomenal, the unlockable cars (AKA autovista) were really cool, and the number of unlocks, titles, and events was mind-boggling. I especially liked the little things they included such as how each pass, turn, draft, and drift is given a grade from one to four. These grades were surprisingly helpful in teaching the player how to play the game. And just like the other games in the series, it was very highly polished with excellent physics and graphics. Also, the commentary from the Top Gear guys was amusing and gave this game a bit of personality. If you like racing games at all, then Forza Motorsport 4 is a game that's easy to love.

    14. Halo 3 (Xbox 360, 2007)

Please don't get mad at me for not putting this one higher on this list. I had become a Halo fan after playing through Halo 2 the year before and I was all aboard the hype train in anticipation of Halo 3. I was slightly let down at things like the lacklustre sound effects, slower pace of gameplay, and lack of surprises in campaign. While it's not as memorable or as badass as its predecessor I still appreciate Halo 3 for what it is: a well-designed sci-fi action FPS set in a fascinating universe with enemies that are fun to tango with. This entry in the series added new vehicles and weapons, had fun locations for single-player, had a fantastic soundtrack, and gave the players more multiplayer options than ever before. It's a game that my friends and I still play to this day and probably will continue playing for quite some time. From a purely objective viewpoint it's probably the best Halo game ever made but there's just one other game in the series that I prefer over Halo 3. More on that later...

13. Wolfenstein: The New Order (Xbox 360, 2014)

Why yes, this game did come out on Xbox 360. (I don't have an 8^th gen console... yet.) Remember what I said about how much I love alternate history in CoD: Black Ops? That goes double for Wolfenstein: TNO. In this game the Germans have won the Second World War through their use of highly advanced technology. The game takes place in a 1960 in which the Third Reich rules most of the world and has even established a colony on the moon. This is a fantastic – if somewhat absurd – setup for a video game; rarely have I been so enthralled at a game's character and environment design. What's more, TNO boasts some very fun and addicting gunplay as well as some options for those who prefer a stealthier style of gameplay. Though it can be difficult at times, Wolfenstein: TNO never feels frustrating and it rewards players who are willing to change up their strategy from time to time. That's what being a great first-person shooter is all about.

12. Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360, 2010)

What can I say about Red Dead Redemption that hasn't already been said? It's one of the best games this decade and one of the best open-world games ever made. Never has the act of driving around – or in this case horseback riding around – and shooting things been presented in a way that's so fresh and exciting. At times it really did seem like I was playing a Sergio Leone film thanks to the excellent soundtrack, enthralling story, and diverse cast of relatable characters. And that's not even counting all the interesting side missions! There's so much to do, so many places to go, so many people to meet, so much trouble to get into. It's a highly detailed and beautiful looking game. Describing it all in depth would take up an entire article on its own. I'll just leave it at this: Red Dead Redemption is a game that took on the often underutilized setting of the old west and brought it to life in the most ambitious and amazing way one could hope for. You done good.

11. Fight Night 2004 (Xbox, 2004)

It's no secret that the best part of an EA Sports game is getting to make your own butt-ugly characters. Fight Night takes it one step further by letting you make butt-ugly characters who can then beat eachother up! My brothers and I would go all out with the dudes we created in this game. I even went through the trouble of making Beavis and Butthead to watch them duke it out. Even without all that silly stuff, Fight Night is a fun and intense game. It's probably my favourite sports game aside from the NHL games. Making your way up to the top and fighting some of history's greatest boxers was a simple yet satisfying setup for a career mode. Really the only complaint I have is that all the punching is mapped to the thumbstick which works well, but if you play the game at length (like I have) I guarantee that your thumb will end up calloused. But as your coach tells you between rounds, “This is boxing, kid: pain comes with the territory.”

That'll about do it for this week. Check back next time for the top 10.

Movie Review -- Tomb Raider

  Movie adaptations of video games are notorious for their suckitude. Whether it's due to the games' improper interpretation onto the silver screen by people who don't understand what made the game fun to begin with, or if it's the fact that several hours of mood and storytelling have to be compressed into just two hours, films based on games don't score well with critics. But the recent wave of video game films – 2015's Agent 47, and 2016's Assassin's Creed and Warcraft – seem to be giving a second chance to fans of both movies and video games: people like me! So does Tomb Raider buck the trend or does it fall victim to the old Hollywood crap trap? Let's find out.

  Tomb Raider closely follows the plot (or so I'm told) of the 2013 game which served as a reboot of the series. Lara Croft is a gifted young woman and reluctant heir to the Croft estate who decides to undergo a perilous adventure to find out what led to her father's disappearance. It's a pretty standard plot with few surprises. Given that the Tomb Raider games range from supernaturally-driven to being grounded-in-reality, I didn't quite know which direction to expect from this movie. I won't spoil it for you, but I do think the route the filmmakers chose was handled well and left me guessing right up until the film's climax. What wasn't quite so well handled was the ending, which pulls the old sequel-bait trick via a whole lot of last-minute revelations.

  There's also a pre-credits scene where Lara buys some handguns from a pawnshop (which, given the UK's gun control laws, I believe is quite impossible). This scene only serves (1) as a reference to the games and (2) as trailer filler.

  Alicia Vikander does a pretty good job of bringing Lara Croft to life. Lara's character is somewhat bland but Vikander gives her just enough personality to keep her from being dull. Her English accent could've been a bit better, though. Vikander does deserve credit for performing in a very physically demanding role; Lara gets thrown, tossed, and smacked around a lot in Tomb Raider. And yet she hardly ever suffers any serious injuries. She also has the gift of being able to instantly solve weird puzzles she's never seen before. Other decent performances come from Dominic West and Daniel Wu as Richard Croft and Lu Ren respectively. The film's biggest not-so-great performance is from Walton Goggins as the main villain Mathias Vogel, though to be fair this may be more due to the way this character is written. Vogel is completely colourless and without any charisma whatsoever.

  The overall production of Tomb Raider leaves much to be desired. Computer-generated effects are everywhere; there's scarcely a scene after the first 15 minutes that doesn't have them. The environments are a mixed bag as well. There are some scenes that take place in interesting locations – for example, a foot chase across small boats on a busy pier – but other locations (mainly the tombs) are only lightly detailed and without much character.

  Another downer is that most of the fight scenes are presented through that really choppy, incomprehensible editing that 21^st century action movies frequently suffer from. I will never understand why directors are so hellbent on preventing their audiences from being able to tell what's going on when two people are fighting!

  And that's Tomb Raider, a thoroughly OK action-adventure film. It isn't as much dumb fun as the original starring Angelina Jolie, but its more serious tone is done well enough and Alicia Vikander is a worthy Lara Croft in her own right. In short, Tomb Raider is easily one of the better video game-to-movie adaptations out there. But, again, that's not saying much.

Grade:

Video Game Retrospective -- GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (2004), Part 2

And now, the thrilling conclusion to my look back at the most frustrating 007 video game of them all, GoldenEye: Rogue Agent.

  Next up is not-SPECTRE headquarters in an underwater lair called the Octopus, which sort of reminds me of Stromberg's base from The Spy Who Loved Me. Other than that, there's not much to say. The Octopus is just more of the same bland tedium found in the rest of the game. By the next level, Goldfinger's found out that Dr. No's home base is in Crab Key and dispatches GoldenEye there to kill the doctor and target the island for an OMEN strike. This is the only level that seems to open up into wide open spaces as you brainlessly sludge your way through the docks, around the mine, and finally into the base itself. There's two tanks guarding the base's entry doors, but if you activate your invincibility and sprint around them you can safely shoot rockets at their backs since they can't turn around for some reason. The level ends with a pretty good boss fight against Dr. No. Once he is dead, Goldfinger, believing the rogue agent to be too powerful to control – and revealing that he has plans to overthrow not-Blofeld to take over not-SPECTRE – betrays GoldenEye and leaves him to die in the OMEN strike. However GoldenEye manages to escape before the island is destroyed.

  With Scaramanga and Pussy's help, he returns to the volcano lair (straight outta You Only Live Twice) to confront Goldfinger. This is the final and most difficult level of the game. Not only is it ungodly long, but it's also the only level featuring the OMEN rifle. This weapon uses OMEN technology to fire glowing blue thingees that kill in just one hit (or two if you've got your invincibility shield active). The blue thingees can be dodged, but it's very biased. OMEN wielding enemies fire their guns very rapidly and if the blue thingees come anywhere near you you're dead. However when you use the rifle (which can only fire 3 shots before needing to reload, by the way) you don't get to fire rapidly, reload times are slow, and the enemies always seem to dodge the projectiles at a distance of anything more than 15 meters or so. My tactics for this level avoided using the OMEN rifle and involved a lot of hiding behind cover, a lot of grenade spamming, and very brief and careful poking of my head out to shoot for brief seconds lest I get hit by a stray OMEN blue glowing thingee. You have NPC allies at certain points but they're useless; they die quickly and only serve to momentarily distract the enemies.

  So you forge ahead through so many freakin' rooms, many of which are repeated multiple times. I should also mention that while Rogue Agent does have a checkpoint-respawn system, not all checkpoints are save points. So if you try leaving the game in the middle of one of its ceaselessly long levels, you may lose a bunch of progress when you come back. Finding this out was not fun, believe me. Eventually you make it to this wide round room with loads of badguys (including some OMEN gunners) pouring out of multiple doors. Cover is sparse, ammo is out in the open, enemies are constantly running around all over the place, and you can't go back since the door behind you closes. Unless you stay in the doorway and pick off badguys from afar (even this doesn't accomplish much) there's nowhere to hide. Once you enter that room, you're committed. I was stuck on this one room for over an hour before I gave up, threw the game disc against the wall, and watched a longplay on YouTube to see what I missed. It turns out that there's only one hallway and one cutscene after this room. So yes, I didn't fully beat the game but I did complete 99.9% of it. That much effort is far more than this game deserved.

  So after the hell room and straightforward easy hallway following it, you reach some bulletproof glass behind which Goldfinger makes his grand villain speech with the OMEN by his side. Unbeknownst to him, GoldenEye (that is , the player) has been using this moment to hack the OMEN and activate it, killing the evil mastermind and his remaining henchman. Were you expecting a final boss fight or something? What are you, crazy? Pussy Galore picks up the agent in her helicopter and the two celebrate with a victory shag. Little do they know that the events of this whole game were part of not-Blofeld's plan and that he and Scaramanga (who was in on it) will be keeping an eye on the rogue agent.

  So that does it for the singleplayer campaign and to sum it all up it's one of the most dreary and joyless video games I ever forced myself to slog through (or at least 99.9% of the way through). The plot is uninteresting, the enemies suck, and the levels are obscenely long. What it needed – aside from the aforementioned level design and gameplay variety – was a main character who had a bit of personality. Never once throughout the entire game, including cutscenes, does GoldenEye speak or even show some character. He's an empty skull for the player to rent. GoldenEye: Rogue Agent would've also benefited from a level in which you could fight James Bond as a boss. How cool would that be?

  As for multiplayer, I can't really say all that much because I didn't play too much of it. There's two reasons why. The first is that there's no bots, which is a real letdown because multiplayer shooters are generally funner with more opponents (plus previous 007 games did have bots). The second is that the GoldenEye abilities, which are available in MP, take some explaining/getting used to for players who haven't played the singleplayer campaign – and let me tell you, I've never met anyone else who played Rogue Agent's SP. Other than that, the multiplayer is pretty average. There's few match types, the character skins are dull, and the weapons are all the same as in SP. The most noteworthy thing about this game mode is the maps which most 007 fans may find rather interesting. There's maps based on Tomorrow Never Dies, A View to a Kill, The Man With the Golden Gun, and Moonraker, and a lot of them have traps that can be activated on one's opponents.

  And that's all there is to say about GoldenEye: Rogue Agent; it's a very dull, very bland, very colourless FPS that barely feels like it has anything to do with the 007 franchise. It's no wonder the game's box comes with a flashy “007 Presents:” sticker on it, just to remind you what it is. They even took the name of the most popular 007 game ever – GoldenEye 64 – and slapped it on this one in a blatant cash-in attempt. It doesn't work because this doesn't feel like a Bond game, nor does it feel like a Bond villain game. It's a no name henchman simulator, a wasted opportunity destined to be forgotten by all but the most hardcore of Bond fan completionists. For everyone else, don't bother with Rogue Agent.

Video Game Retrospective -- GoldenEye: Rogue Agent (2004), Part 1

  There are a ton of James Bond video games out there. There's 007 games for just about every console from the ZX Spectrum to the Wii U and I'm sure most fans of the Bond movies have tried at least one of the franchise's many interactive experiences. I've only played a handful – Agent Under Fire (2001), Everything or Nothing (2003), GoldenEye 007 (1997) – and to be honest I suck at most of them (the only one I've ever completed is AUF). But earlier this year I put myself through one 007 game that I just had to write about, 2004's GoldenEye: Rogue Agent.

  Although its title implies the game's based on the 1995 film GoldenEye, Rogue Agent is an entirely original creation. Taking place in an alternate universe, the plot follows a former MI6 agent who's turned evil and gotten a job with Auric Goldfinger of not-SPECTRE (remember, this was when the legal rights to the name SPECTRE were in dispute). Playing a Bond-style adventure as a villain instead of the familiar hero had a lot of potential. Just think of all the stuff an evil version of James Bond could get up to! This is going to be amazing, right?

  Let's go through the single player campaign together, shall we? The game begins with an introductory level at Fort Knox just like in Goldfinger, except you take on the roll of some agent dude partnered with Bond. You spend a minute getting acquainted with the controls, which this game maps out serviceably. Within moments your helicopter crashes and falls through a roof, crushing agent 007. Oops.

  It's in this beginning level you're introduced to the gunplay, so let's go over that for a moment. Unlike most 007 games of the era, Rogue Agent only allows you to carry two weapons instead of a full arsenal. Lame! There's a basic pistol you always have in reserve, but it thankfully disappears if you choose to dual wield two other weapons. That's right, you can dual wield in this game. This only goes for some weapons though; larger weapons like rocket launchers and assault rifles need both hands to operate them. Also, most of the guns don't allow you to zoom in. Ranged weapons are limited. You've got a limited assortment of weapons: 2 pistols, an assault rifle, an SMG, a grenade launcher/detonator, a rocket launcher, a lever-action shotgun, a slow-firing rail gun, and a poison/stun gun that slows people down. That's pretty much it. The only real escalation in firepower comes in the form of a minigun (in the 4^th or 5^th level) and the final level's OMEN rifle. More on that one later...

  As far as abilities go, you can't jump, but you can melee and you can also take enemies as human shields which is always good for a laugh. However, the dumb badguys can often be seen doing the same... to eachother.

  Anyways, you fight through Fort Knox to prevent a nuclear bomb from detonating and as soon as it looks like you're going to fight Oddjob, the bomb detonates and the level ends. But it's OK because it was just a simulation. M (voiced by Judi Dench herself) scolds the unnamed agent and dismisses him. The player is then treated to a rather cool opening “credits” scene setting up the plot. The agent gets a job with Goldfinger, Dr. No breaks away from not-SPECTRE and tries to take over the world on his own, a rivalry develops between Goldfinger and Dr. No, the doctor shoots the agent in the eye, and Francisco Scaramanga, not-SPECTRE's tech specialist (voiced by Christopher Lee himself), implants a cybernetic eye of gold in the vengeful agent's head thus giving him the moniker “GoldenEye”. Uh hum. This eye gives the player special abilities that are gained as the campaign progresses. These include MRI vision, hacking, brief invincibility, and later telekinesis. Weird.

  The next cutscene shows off Goldfinger's new weapon, the OMEN, which destroys organic matter and disintegrates dudes. Dr. No and his forces discover it's being held at Goldfinger's secret arctic hideout and attack it. And so the second level tasks you with defending the arctic base, and it's not all that great a level. It's a boring arrangement of dull rooms and hallways. The only real highlights are (1) the level's traps that you can activate and (2) the appearance of the laser from the movie Goldfinger (too bad you can't use that as a trap!). Anyways, the base is wrecked but the OMEN is shepherded away. GoldenEye is picked up by Pussy Galore who, by the way, looks and sounds almost nothing like she did in the film. Here she's basically your chauffeur... in a pink helicopter. Remember that from Goldfinger? I don't.

  The next mission takes place in Hong Kong where GoldenEye is tasked with assassinating Dr. No. Spoiler alert: it doesn't work. With an objective like this they could've mixed things up a bit with a sniping mission or stealth gameplay. But no, the majority of this level is shooty-shooty bang-bang inside and above dozens of high rise buildings. Hong Kong may be a bit more colourful than the previous level, bit it's just as mind-numbingly boring. Not only is this the most tedious level yet, but it's also far longer than it has any right to be! It just goes on and on and on and on. The idea is that you've got to go to a specific rooftop for Pussy to pick you up from, but why does the building she picked have to be on the other side of town? Any old freakin' rooftop will do!

  Once that nightmare is over, you head over to Las Vegas where you've got to defend the OMEN in its casino hideout from Xenia Onatopp who is rumoured to be working for Dr. No. This level is only slightly less dull than the previous ones. The gameplay is unchanged but I'll give it credit for being the most visually interesting level in Rogue Agent. The places here look vibrant and alive. If only the other elements of the game were like that!

  It's not until the following level where we actually get to go toe-to-toe (or is that thigh-to-thigh?) against Xenia Onatopp in a boss fight atop Hoover Dam. The only problem is that it comes after about an hour of the worst level in the game: an unending series of similar, lifeless, grey, concrete rooms with generic enemies. (By the way, all the bad guys bleed bright blue blood. I guess it was to avoid an M rating?) You start the level at the bottom of one side of the dam, you go inside, fight your way to the top, cross it halfway whilst taking on dozens of tanks and helicopters, go back down to the bottom of the dam, retrieve the seismic bomb (your mission objective), climb back to the top again, and cross the other half. It is a brainless chore. This game is in serious need of some variety. Other Bond games had vehicle sections, turret sections, stealth sections, even on-rails sections. But in this level I was so fed up I found myself simply running past enemies in order to get to the end quicker.

  There's also a cutscene in which Oddjob betrays GoldenEye, but the rogue agent throws the henchman down a bottomless shaft. And that's the last we see of Oddjob. Why did he betray GoldenEye? Was he really working for Dr. No? Did Goldfinger order him to do it? Seriously, the game never explains it and it's never mentioned again. What a waste of a cool character! By this point I had stopped caring. The only thing motivating me to continue was to see what would happen to the characters and what movie references would be made next. If I weren't a 007 fan this game would've been in the garbage by now.

That's all I can take for now. Check in next week for part 2!

Is it time for Splinter Cell to retire Sam Fisher?

  It's been a while since I last wrote about Splinter Cell. Shall we write about Splinter Cell? Let's write about Splinter Cell.

  Since playing 2013's Blacklist one thing that's been on my mind is the future of Sam Fisher's character. I think it may be time to retire him. Don't get me wrong, I love Fisher's character. I think he's one of the coolest and iconic characters in the action genre this century. But it's quite clear that his glory days have passed. Let me tell you why.

  The first reason why Sam isn't as cool as before is, you guessed it, Michael Ironside leaving the series. Ironside contributed so much to Fisher, with performances that gave the character intensity, professionalism, and at times dark humour and sarcasm. Without Ironside, Fisher simply wasn't the same character he was before. Eric Johnson's performance in Blacklist, while it wasn't outright awful, robbed Sam of much of his personality. Gone was his cool professionalism and much of his sarcasm. In fact at times he just came off as a somewhat disinterested ass. Also, he sounded too young to be playing the highly experienced 4^th Echelon agent.

  Which brings me to the other point, Sam Fisher is simply getting too old to do field work. Sure Sam was already in his 40's when he became a splinter cell in the original game in 2002. His experience in his middle age is part of what made him so distinctive from other video game characters. But seeing him able to effortlessly pull off so many acrobatic moves in Blacklist was really starting to test my suspension of disbelief, especially when you consider that Sam was born in 1957! Part of Sam's backstory is that he was involved in past historical events like the Soviet-Afghan War and the US invasion of Panama. So unless the next game is a prequel or reboot, Sam will be at least 60 years old!

  The solution to these problems is simple. I propose that Ubisoft have a different player character for the next game. I'm not saying that Sam has to disappear; he still could be an advisor/mentor/boss within 4^th Echelon – perhaps he could be the new Lambert.

  I think it would be interesting to let Briggs take over the mantle of the trifocal goggles. We already played as him in two levels of Blacklist (if you don't count the sniping sections), which could serve as a “passing of the torch”. The first level you could tell he was learning how stealth espionage tactics worked and by the final level of the game he was so skilled at it that he was almost indistinguishable from Sam.

  It seems unlikely that the Sam Fisher we all know and love (from the first 5 games) will be coming back, but we do have the chance to move on to someone else who could prove to be just as interesting. In just one game we've seen that Briggs is smart, is skilled, can work on his own, shows initiative, has a sense of humour and comradeship, and has learned that 4^th Echelon spy work doesn't have to be done “by the book”. Sounds like a worthwhile player character to me.

  Anyways, those are just my opinions on the matter. This isn't related to any new Splinter Cell news or anything; I just wanted to share my thoughts on something that's been on the brain for a while. What do you think should be done to revitalize Splinter Cell?  

Comparing the Two Versions of Splinter Cell: Double Agent

   Last January I posted an article ranking all the Splinter Cell games. And I was an idiot. At the time I didn't know that there were differences between the 6^th and 7^th generation versions of Double Agent (2006), the game I ranked as the worst of the series. Having played only the Xbox 360 version of the game, I was unimpressed with its gameplay and level design. It wasn't until a few weeks after writing the article that I learned the generation 6 version of the game is very different, with the G6 version designed by Ubisoft Montreal and the G7 version made by Ubisoft Shanghai. I've now finally gotten around to playing that version of the game (on Xbox original) and I've got to say I prefer it over the generation 7 version. However, it's not a complete improvement. So let's take some time to discuss which version of the game does Splinter Cell best.

   Let's begin with a video game's most important aspect: gameplay. The G6 version looks and feels almost exactly the same as the previous game, Chaos Theory. Since Chaos Theory was the best game in the series, this is a welcome trait. Generation 6's version retains CT's user interface, HUD, opsat, weapons, gadgets, and controls. The only differences are that the G6 version has noticeably worse graphics, save states (which are pointless because you can still quicksave whenever you want), and a different hacking minigame (which I suck at). The in-game-engine cutscenes here are laughable, like something from a Nintendo 64 game. The G6 version of the game also has no stealth score/success rating at the end of each mission which decreases the game's replay value and destroys the incentive to play perfectly stealthily.

   The generation 7 version on the other hand does have a stealth score, but it sucks. The score you'll get for any mission in particular will be a total crapshoot; it's unpredictable and unfairly harsh so it almost doesn't matter that the ratings are included. The G7 version of Double Agent seems to share only animations and in-game dialogue with Chaos Theory. The graphics, UI, opsat, and much of the gadgets are brand new. The game does away with the HUD, replacing it with regenerating health and a green-yellow-red system (for light exposure). As for masking your noise, you're on your own. There's no indicator for that! There's also no hacking minigame; hacking is now done automatically with gadgets. Also, Sam Fisher doesn't wear his ops suit very much in the G7 version which is lame. Oh yeah, and the dang thing is fairly buggy too.

   As I mentioned in the rankings article, the levels in the G7 version suck. There's four levels that take place at the JBA headquarters in New York City and they mostly consist of doing mundane tasks (often involving minigames) on a time limit. The only good thing about them is that you get to see the characters more and hear some decent dialogue. Really there's only two missions that are remarkable enough to make you want to replay: the cruise ship at Cozumel and the hotel skyscraper in Shanghai. The levels in the Generation 6 version are retooled and sometimes completely different. In the G6 version, there is no Shanghai level, there's only two JBA HQ missions (and they play more like traditional Splinter Cell levels, no undercover stuff), and the Kinshasa level is much more bearable this time. There's now a level where Sam Fisher robs a money train, and the last level takes place across the NYC cityscape. Also, the JBAs headquarters are now in New Orleans.

   Now on to the plot, and this is where I think things start to even out a bit between the two versions. The plot of each game is basically the same: Sam Fisher poses as a member of a terrorist group in order to stop it from bombing major US cities. Along the way he is forced to make choices that will either end up harming people or risk blowing his cover. These decisions that the player must make were marketed as being a big part of Double Agent, but unfortunately only one version of the game did them right. Each game uses the “trust meter” to illustrate how much your actions impact your standing with the NSA and the JBA. In the 6^th generation version, there is only one trust meter which has both of the two organizations on either side. So basically the trust is a zero-sum game in the G6 version since pleasing one group will automatically displease the other. This makes no sense because half the things you do for the NSA are done in secret! The JBA gets mad at you for no reason! But you know, this pretty much doesn't matter because if your trust meter goes too far in one direction you'll be given a “go here before the time runs out” task which isn't too difficult to accomplish. Not exactly punishing. What's worse is that the decisions the player makes have no real bearing on the plot; the G6 version has the same ending no matter what (assuming you disarmed all the bombs, and why wouldn't you do that?). It just doesn't feel like there's consequences for the choices you make.

   This is where the 7^th generation version of Double Agent succeeds. The decisions you make have real consequences on the plot. For example, if the player chooses to prevent the detonation of the bomb aboard the cruise ship, Emile Dufraisne kills Enrica Villablanca, a JBA member that the player has the option to romance. Compare this to the G6 version, in which the same choice will result in a cutscene where Emile just beats Sam and Enrica up and threatens them. Not as powerful a reaction, eh? Not only that, but if you choose to blow up the cruise ship in the G6 version, nothing happens! In the G7 version you are rewarded with a cutscene of the ship blowing up and the JBA dudes congratulating you. There's more the G7 version offers: more decisions, a bonus end level (if you do everything right), and even multiple endings! Sure, the endings aren't exceptionally great, but this is what I want to see in a game that promises to give the player agency regarding the plot. Additionally, the 7^th generation version of this game has two trust meters instead of one. There's one bar for each organization, making it easier to please both; it's not a zero-sum situation like in the G6 version.

   As for the actual story being told in these games, they each have their ups and downs. The G6 version has what's probably the better ending – which fits in better with the beginning of the next game in the series, Conviction – even if it's one you have no control over. (Just for the record though, Sam choosing to shoot Lambert in the G7 version ended up becoming official canon.) Still, it doesn't make any sense how the JBA found out Sam was a government agent. One minute Emile is praising Sam saying that none of this would have been possible without him and then the next minute he's barking orders to kill Sam Fisher on sight. The 7^th generation version's story and characters are generally more interesting (partially because the player can manipulate them more than in the G6 version of the game). Each character is given more screen time and backstory, thus giving them more personality. The G7 versions of Carson Moss and Jamie Washington stand out more since we get to see them at work and during their free time. You'll get to know people better in Double Agent's G7 version.

   I think it's also worth mentioning that the generation 6 version has a strange framing device. Each level begins with a sort-of cutscene (hidden load screen) in which Fisher is being interrogated by some guy named Williams (I think he's supposed to be the assistant director of Third Echelon, but it's never made clear). These scenes – which presumably take place after the game's events – simply recap the previous level's events and set up the next one. But these cutscenes are pure bullcrap. Williams is played as a one-dimensional angry boss character and he's always mad at you regardless of the decisions you made. If you blow up the cruise ship, he's mad at you. If you don't blow up the cruise ship, he's mad at you. At the game's end, Fisher blames Williams for Enrica's death and vows revenge. Williams promises that 3^rd Echelon will find him first. Umm... you guys are aware that you're in the same room, right? Presumably this means that Sam has already been captured, so... This is stupid.

   But the G7 version's biggest success against the G6 version is in its ability to really bring the undercover experience to life. As much as I dislike playing G7's JBA HQ missions, I have to admit that they do add a lot to the feeling of being somewhere you're not supposed to be, of tiptoeing amongst wolves who at any moment could discover that you're not one of them. This is where a lot of the non-player character development comes from as well. While the JBA HQ missions in the 6^th generation are more playable, they reduce the undercover element of the plot to just a handful of choice moments and communiques which don't end up amounting to much. These HQ missions have you doing only 3^rd Echelon stuff (no JBA stuff), so it comes across as just another level that could've been in any other Splinter Cell game.

   Does this mean that the 7^th generation version of the game is comparable to the 6^th generation version? No way! Although it has the slightly inferior story and it fails in the “undercover” department, the G6 version of Double Agent is far more enjoyable to play. When it comes to video games the most important thing is playability, and that's why the G6 version wins. If I were to update my rankings list from a year ago, I'd probably list it as the 4^th (or possibly 3^rd) best Splinter Cell game after Chaos Theory, Black List, and the 2002 original. But when looking back and writing this article, it seems that maybe the G7 version of Double Agent isn't as bad as I once gave it credit for... but it's still quite low on the rankings list. Tough luck, bub.