My 10 Favourite Albums of the 2010's

 

Yeah, I know I'm late to the whole “Top 10 ______ of the Decade” list trend, but 2020 has been a most unusual year, wouldn't you say? I've still got some energy to spare and not many movies to write about and since I find writing about music to be a fun challenge I've decided to take a look at some of the 2010's standout albums. Most of my preferred music comes from past decades and since I didn't listen to nearly enough of last decade's tunes to comment on the music scene as a whole this will simply be my list of personal favourite albums from the 2010's. This list will cover full-length albums released from 2010 to 2019, and will focus mostly on major label stuff. Compilations, remixes, live albums, and film soundtracks don't count.

Honourable mentions: The Great War by Sabaton, Weapon by Skinny Puppy, King Animal by Soundgarden

10. Apocalyptic Love by Slash (2012)

I've written about this album before (April 2016) and mentioned that I thought it was “OK... not great”, but every time I hear Apocalyptic Love I appreciate it just a little bit more than before. Slash's second solo album – the first to feature Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators on every track – sees the man slip into conventional hard rock album trappings as opposed to the jumbled guest star hodgepodge that was the previous album. This second recording is much more focused, better paced, and better written and it gives the guitarist more room to show off his chops. There's your standard hard rocker tunes like “One Last Thrill”, slower moody songs like “Far and Away”, and even a classical-sounding epic, “Anastasia.” Altogether the Slash man released four solo albums in the 2010's but for my money Apocalyptic Love beats them all thanks to its superior variety and pace.

9. Tattoos & Tequila by Vince Neil (2010)

That's right, I've listed a Vince Neil solo album as one of my top 10, and I'm not ashamed to say that I quite enjoy Tattoos & Tequila. It seems like most aging rock stars eventually go the live albums and cover songs route once their sales decline but Vince isn't just going through the motions on this record; this collection of songs delivers more rawness, energy, and fun than almost any other covers album I've heard. The songs range from classic rock staples like Cheap Trick's “He's a Whore” and The Hollies' “Long Cool Woman” to glam metal versions of unexpected gems like Elton John's “The Bitch is Back” and even “Viva Las Vegas” from Elvis. A real highlight comes in the form of “Nobody's Fault” from Aerosmith; it's easily the heaviest song of the bunch and the talk-box guitar solos were a nice touch. However I'd be technically incorrect in saying that Tattoos & Tequila is a full covers album. There are two original songs and they're easily this recording's weakest points, missing the energy and rowdiness found in the rest of the tracks. It makes me wish that Vince Neil did some more covers albums because his selection of some old classics fed through his patented L.A. sleaze-rock approach made Tattoos & Tequila surprisingly fun.

8. 13 by Black Sabbath (2013)

In 2013, the godfathers of heavy metal assembled to record one last collection of original songs and they did not disappoint. Any fan of Black Sabbath's first eight albums will feel at home listening to 13, with its doomy/spooky mood, long, intricate song structures, and excellent pacing. Ozzy's desperate, howled singing would fit neatly into 1978 and Tony Iommi proves that after 44 years he can still crank out heavy-duty riffs that you can't help but bang your head to. There's numerous callbacks to previous Sabbath classics; for example “Zeitgeist” bears undeniable similarity to 1970's “Planet Caravan”, “Live Forever” reminds me a lot of 1972's “Cornucopia”, and the closing track, “Dear Father,” shares many similarities with “Black Sabbath”, the first song from the band's first album. The only thing I can really knock 13 for is the production; the sonic range has been crushed under compression and artificial volume. Of all the albums in all the world, why did this one have to be a casualty of the loudness war? If it weren't for that blemish, 13 would've ranked much higher for me.

7. Collapse Into Now by R.E.M. (2011)

For their final album, alternative rock legends R.E.M. dial back from the hard rocker tone of their previous album, Accelerate (2008), and display a bit more variety in their songs. What we get is a broad sampling of all the styles and moods that the band has done throughout their past. There's songs reminiscent of Life's Rich Pageant (“Mine Smell Like Honey”) and New Adventures in Hi-Fi (“Blue”) and there's even direct lyrical references to at least one song on Accelerate (“Oh My Heart”). Speaking of lyrics, it's clear that this album is about the band coming to terms with the changing world around them while settling comfortably into middle age; more than once a mystified Michael Stipe refers to “the kids today”. Comfortable might be the best word to describe Collapse Into Now, in spite of the band members' talents on full display. It's a great band going out in style, doing what they do best.

6. ...Like Clockwork by Queens of the Stone Age (2013)

With the return of both past band members as well as an eerie – occasionally dreary – mood previously seen on Lullabies to Paralyze (2005) you might think that Josh Homme & Co. are coasting off of their glory days, trying to duplicate past success. This theory couldn't further from the truth. Instead ...Like Clockwork finds the band at a new level of maturity and focus; gone are the drug references and stoner vibes – with the possible exception of the groovy “Smooth Sailing”. What we get instead are lots of guest appearances, some top-notch production, and some tight, to-the-point songwriting. It's an album that's both complex and easily digestible and it easily ranks amongst the band's better works.

5. Welcome Oblivion by How to Destroy Angels (2013)

What genre of music of music is HTDA? Electronic rock? Post-industrial? Trip hop? Electronica? Whatever it is, I like it. After listening to every Nine Inch Nails recording I could find I figured I'd move on to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross' side project featuring Mariqueen Maandig on lead vocals. Welcome Oblivion, the band's only full-length album to date, is dreamier and more mellifluous than your typical NIN recording thanks to Maandig's softer voice and the more melodic textures/arrangements. There are brief moments of drama and urgency and even some of the quieter songs have something going on in the background, like the ominous ringing in “Ice Age” which eventually builds up into a piercing crescendo. But moments like this only add to the sonic texture and aren't just there for the sake of being noisy. All in all, Welcome Oblivion was a pleasant surprise for me. It's a recording that's as soothing as it is hypnotic, perfect for listening through headphones with your eyes shut.

4. Hesitation Marks by Nine Inch Nails (2013)

In true Nine Inch Nails fashion it took five years for the next album to be released, and as always it was worth the wait. In the early/mid-2000's frontman Trent Reznor transitioned from bitter, angst-ridden young man with substance abuse problems to sober, industrious, and progressive artist exploring new themes and evolving his band's sound. The trend continues on NIN's eighth full length album, Hesitation Marks. The word introspective can be used to describe pretty much every NIN record, but this one does it from a more peaceful and mature – sometimes even hopeful – perspective which is unique for this band's discography. Sure, there are songs that are louder and aggressive (“Copy of A”, “In Two”) but there's also some calmer and contemplative ones (“Find My Way”, “Disappointed”). Overall I'd say Hesitation Marks most closely resembles a calmer, more mature, and more varied version of 2005's With Teeth. It's the sound of a band that's grown up.

3. Dystopia by Megadeth (2016)

After two underwhelming albums earlier last decade, Megadeth underwent a lineup change by adding lead guitarist Kiko Loureiro and drummer Chris Adler. Sometimes a little turmoil can do a band some good, as Dystopia is easily one of Megadeth's most energetic and aggressive albums since their glory days (the late 1980's to early 1990's). Fans of this band get exactly what they want: nearly every song hits hard and heavy with a furious level of speed, like in “The Threat is Real” and “Death from Within.” One exception is “Poisonous Shadows” which starts out with machine gun drumming and a chugging guitar riff only to give way to an orchestra and then a piano outro. And it all sounds great thanks to the top-notch production. Some listeners may be turned off by the lyrics' political themes or Dave Mustaine's voice but that's Megadeth for you; you should know what you're getting into by this point. All in all Dystopia sees Megadeth reaffirming itself as one of the Big Four of thrash metal with this menacing and blisteringly fast record guaranteed to please any of its fans. This is a dystopia worth living with.

2. Let England Shake by PJ Harvey (2011)

Let England Shake is easily the most ambitious album PJ Harvey has ever done. After mixing things up on 2007's White Chalk – a spooky piano-driven record where PJ sings in a much higher pitch than normal – the alt-rock legend struck with another starkly different recording. For starters her lyrics explore the themes of her English nationality/heritage and England's relation to the rest of the world – in particular its involvement in the First World War. Several songs are dedicated to the disastrous Gallipoli Campaign as well as the violence and tragedy of war; definitely a step away from Harvey's usual lyrical topics! Further experimentation is heard through her use of background vocals, autoharp, and brass instruments. Combined with the upper register vocals this makes for a soft sounding record – in spite of the often dreary subject matter – accentuated by the spacious production. I guess you could say it mirrors stereotypical British stoicism in masking its own disheartenment and outrage. Such complexity and harmonic grace make Let England Shake a surprising treat in PJ Harvey's catalogue. In fact one could argue that it's her best album to date but considering the strength of some of her previous efforts it wouldn't be an easy argument!

1. The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here by Alice in Chains (2013)

Dang, 2013 sure was a great year for music! By 2018 the new lineup of Alice in Chains had put out just as many full-length albums as the classic lineup and while the current band isn't quite as exciting or captivating as it once was it has still produced some quality recordings. 2009's Black Gives Way to Blue was AIC proving that they still had something to offer and it was quite good, showcasing a heavier, doomier sound. But the “new” band's second album, The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here is where they truly show off their songwriting abilities. The doom and heaviness is still there – “Hollow”, “Phantom Limb”, “Hung on a Hook” – alongside a few catchier rockers – “Breath on a Window”, “Low Ceiling” – and even a few upbeat acoustic-led tunes like “Scalpel” and “Voices”. Needless to say this all makes for a listening experience that's varied and refreshing, bolstered by the glossy production and impeccable pacing which allows the expert instrumentation and the signature spine-tingling vocal harmonies to really shine. The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here is a darkly vivacious listen that goes by faster than its 67 minute length would have you think, perfect for driving to. I can't wait to see what this band does next.

My Top 10 Favourite Splinter Cell Levels

L-R: Paris-Nice, Cargo Ship, Third Echelon Headquarters

It sure has been a while since we've had a new Splinter Cell game. Wouldn't it be nice to get a new one for the first time since 2013? Oh well, I guess until then we can reminisce about the past games in this excellent stealth-action series of video games. I recently played through Chaos Theory and Blacklist and while I've already gone through and ranked all the games from worst to best on this blog (in January 2016), this time I thought it'd be fun to look at individual levels from the series that have really stood out to me. These are my picks for the top 10 levels in Splinter Cell games.

Dishonourable mention: Kalinatek (Splinter Cell), Diwaniya, Iraq (Conviction)

Honourable mention: Oil Refinery (Splinter Cell), Shanghai (Double Agent), American Consumption (Blacklist), Hawkins Seafort (Blacklist)

10. Seoul (Chaos Theory)

The eighth level in the series' best entry, Seoul shows us a startling look at what might happen if the Korean War ever broke out into armed conflict again. Sam Fisher is tasked with making his way through communist-occupied Seoul to steal information from South Korea's national data trunk. This involves navigating destroyed buildings and sabotaging KPA communications. Things turn sour as a US spy plane is shot down nearby and before Sam can extract he has to destroy the plane so that its contents aren't discovered by either side. To do this Sam has to wade further into the active warzone complete with firefights, tanks, and deadly UAVs . Danger is everywhere, there are no friends. As William Redding says at the mission's start, “there aren't any alarms to worry about, but anyone you encounter will... already be alert.” As a result it can be tricky to tell if you've been seen or not but I still think of this one as a decent level to mess about in. War: it's fantastic.

9. Cargo Ship (Chaos Theory)

Don't worry, these won't all be levels from Chaos Theory. Cargo Ship might just be the SC level that I've played the most. It's an easy level to figure out but more importantly it's one of those levels that are fully accessible from start to finish: if you're near the end and you realize you've forgotten something there's nothing stopping you from going back to the beginning. I also love the idea of a level set on a ship at sea. There's 36 bad guys (I think) and there's no way out... for them. Sometimes I would go out of my way to see if I could find and kill all of them. Failing to do that I would instead try knocking them out and leaving their unconscious bodies in weird places, such as in a freezer or leaving Hugo Lacerda's dead body in the same cabin where I knocked out the captain. I also liked checking the sticky camera I left in Lacerda's cabin just to see if his bodyguards were still waiting silently for him to get them a drink. All in all, Cargo Ship is a fun level that's basically a playground.

8. Presidential Palace (Splinter Cell)

As the finale to the first game in the series, Presidential Palace doesn't disappoint. There's tons of guards patrolling everywhere, lots of rooms where guards will enter suddenly, and there's even a few dogs you'll have to avoid. You'll get to take President Nikoladze hostage for a few moments before assassinating him later on. In short, it's a tense level that serves as a suitable capstone to a fine classic game... even if I died dozens of times falling off the cliffs at the beginning due to that tricky double-jump.

7. Bathhouse (Chaos Theory)

The longest and most difficult level in Chaos Theory, Bathhouse is an exercise in patience thanks to its many hard sections and sometimes unpredictable lighting. In the lobby room (the one with the scaffolding), the pool room, and the hallway with the two factions fighting eachother it seems like a crapshoot whether the badguys spot you or not. I've since learned to make use of smoke grenades in such tricky sections. My advice: save frequently. Remaining undetected and nonlethal in Bathhouse is certainly not an easy thing to do, especially in the end section when you have to disarm bombs in a boiler room with roaming commandos. But seeing the 100% success rating once it's all over feels so satisfying. In addition to providing some fine challenge, this mission is also quite story-heavy with some shocking twists and a thrilling ending. It's a wonder they didn't save Bathhouse as the final level in the game.

6. Bank (Chaos Theory)

I swear this is the last Chaos Theory level on this list. What can I say, it's an excellent game with some really fun levels. One of them is the MCAS Bank in Panama where Sam Fisher has to break in to discover who's been bankrolling Lacerda's revolutionaries. But in order to cover up these intentions Fisher also has to crack the vault and steal some bearer bonds and make it look like an inside job. It's a clever setup for what's basically a bank heist mission carried out by the NSA. Just like the Cargo Ship mission there's a variety of ways you can approach each objective and you're free to tackle each one in whichever order you want. I've had hours of fun with this level avoiding lasers, hacking every computer, and even flooding the vault with the sprinkler system. Not only is Bank the only level in the series where you get to use the telemetric lock pick, but it's one of only two levels in Chaos Theory were I managed to complete it while leaving all enemies undisturbed (the other one being Displace). That's right: I completed this level without touching anyone. Try it out yourself!

5. CIA HQ (Splinter Cell)

You knew this one was coming. In a game about sneaking around places where you're not supposed to be, what could be a more appropriate setting than the headquarters of the CIA? A lot of the levels on the original Splinter Cell are ordinary office buildings which gets kind of old, but CIA HQ mixes things up with ventilation rooms, supply closets, server rooms, and patrolled hallways. It can also be rather difficult (just like all the levels of that first game); you're not allowed to kill anyone, you have to retrieve your SC-2000 rifle, and the level's exit is teeming with enemies. The only downside is that you have to haul some unconscious dude on your back an awfully long way to the end. Also the lighting in this level works a bit wonkily at times. But apart from that CIA HQ is a fine level that epitomizes the first Splinter Cell game.

4. Paris-Nice (Pandora Tomorrow)

There's something about train levels in video games that certainly bring a nice change of pace. Perhaps it's the confinement that makes the action more focused and immediate. That's exactly the effect that the Pairs-Nice level has in Pandora Tomorrow. Not only do you have to avoid detection inside the cramped quarters of a French high-speed train, but you'll also be crossing the train's undercarriage, shimmying along the sides as other trains rocket by just inches away, and running along its roof. This level is easily one of the most unique missions in the whole series. No wonder this is such a popular one.

3. Los Angeles, California (Pandora Tomorrow)

It's a shame that this level doesn't get as much love from the SC community as other levels do because I think Pandora Tomorrow's finale is brilliant. Sam has to sneak through Los Angeles International Airport to intercept Norman Soth and his goons before they have a chance to set off their smallpox bombs. But if just one alarm goes off the terrorists will detonate their bomb and it's all over so there's no room for mistakes. I love the idea of a level set in a public place. Not only do you have to avoid the gaze of a variety of people – terrorists, security guards, airport employees, and random civilians – but the bad guys are all in disguise so you have to seek them out before making your move. You do this through your goggles' thermal vision since the bad guys' smallpox vaccines give them a higher-than-normal body temperature. It's a simple mechanic but I always thought it was cool. And once you complete the pulse-pounding ending the day is saved and LA can rest easy. Pandora Tomorrow isn't a game that I'm terribly fond of but this LAX level goes some way towards redeeming it.

2. Third Echelon Headquarters (Conviction)

As I've mentioned in earlier articles, Conviction may not be as traditionally stealthy as other Splinter Cell games but it can still provide an intense and thrilling gameplay experience. This is why the Third Echelon Headquarters mission stands out to me. From the no-detection-allowed opening to the sneaking through patrolled office areas, to defending yourself from waves of goggled commandos, there's plenty of tense moments to this level that will have you on the edge of your seat. This is also quite possibly the most badass Sam Fisher has ever been. Not only does he have unlimited Mark & Executes at the end, not only does he interrogate (i.e. beat up) Andrei Kobin, but he also delivers the line “I used to work here,” to the receptionist just before detonating some bombs in his former workplace. That's right, Sam has gone rogue. As if that wasn't enough he learns the truth about what happened to his daughter Sarah and that Lambert, his friend that he was forced to kill, lied to him about it. True, the words flashing on the walls during this scene come off as a bit cheesy. Nevertheless, Third Echelon Headquarters is great story-driven level that has some really gripping gameplay to keep me coming back again and again.

1. Special Missions HQ (Blacklist)

This may be a bit of a surprise. I like Blacklist but I find that it doesn't have many standout levels to it apart from this. That may be because, as you've noticed by now, I like Splinter Cell levels that take place in special forces/intelligence headquarters. They make for a great you're-not-supposed-to-be-here vibe that really make you want to play through them flawlessly. Achieving ghost mastery on perfectionist difficulty in this mission is very difficult but extremely satisfying once you pull it off. But what makes Special Missions HQ so special (no pun intended)? Well, Sam Fisher has to infiltrate Quds Force headquarters to manually retrieve data concerning Iran's ties to the Blacklist attacks in order to prevent the US from declaring war. To do this he has to gain entry by extorting a general, taking to the shadows once the general betrays him and the alarms are set off, downloading the data from an airtight server room, and then wading through room after room after room – each one full of bad guys furiously searching for him. You'll deal with all manner of enemies from regular guys to heavy armoured guys, commandos, and even dogs. It'll test your stealth skills to the limit. It's not a perfect level – the UAV part at the end seems a bit gratuitous and it's a roll of the dice whether you'll be detected or not once the alarms go off – but Special Missions HQ is still an exciting level that's well worth your time.

Screw Die Hard: Top 10 Christmas Movies You Didn't Know Were Christmas Movies

Sometimes internet culture is like you when you were a little kid. You know, when you said something that the adults unexpectedly found funny so you repeated that same thing over and over again expecting the same hilarious result when in fact you were really making everyone sick of you. Case in point: OH MY GOSH GUYS, DIE HARD IS TOTALLY A CHRISTMAS MOVIE!!!!!!! AMIRITE? LOL FTW YOLO DOUBLE RAINBOW 360 NOSCOPE ROFL COPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sick and tired of people making the joke that Die Hard (1988) – a violent action movie that is not exactly festive in the traditional sense – is a legit Christmas movie simply because it takes place around 25 December, features a couple holiday songs, and has a handful of seasons greetings in it. It's an overdone joke that I've been hearing for at least eight years now and I'm simply tired of it, you know?

(Just for the record, I'm not hating on Die Hard. I thoroughly enjoy it and think it's one of the greatest action movies ever made. This is all just for fun.)

But I guess that if a few nods to Jesus' birthday and the festivities surrounding it is all you need to qualify as a Christmas movie then screw it, I guess Die Hard is a Christmas movie then. But you know what? Two can play at this game! This is my list of top ten other films that qualify as Christmas movies.

10. American Sniper (2014)

What? What are you talking about? American Sniper is totally a Christmas movie! There was that one scene where Chris Kyle is watching war footage of US soldiers getting shot in Iraq as he sits next to a Christmas tree in his living room. It demonstrates Chris' trouble with leaving the war behind and focusing on his family even during a holiday season on which families traditionally get together in peace. Chris sees his comrades in the military as his second family which he wishes to protect and thus he can't get the war out of his mind. And nothing says “Merry Christmas” like combat-induced stress in veterans, right?

9. Stalingrad (1993)

Stalingrad is a German war film about a platoon of Wehrmacht soldiers participating in the epic Battle of Stalingrad (1942-3). It is also unquestionably a Christmas movie. There's one scene set in late December where the situation for the Germans isn't looking good. The Red Army has them encircled, supplies are running low, and a breakout seems less and less likely with each passing day. The main characters have been sentenced to a penal company and are off to take part in a suicide mission. As they ride in the back of a freezing cold truck one of them spontaneously sings “O Tannenbaum” (or “Oh Christmas Tree” as it's known in English). As if that wasn't Christmassy enough, just look at all the snow that envelops three-quarters of this movie. Need I say more?

8. Miracle (2004)

You remember Miracle? It was one of the best hockey movies ever made and it's also a pretty darn good Christmas movie. During a brief holiday break from Olympic training camp the US hockey players take part in a gift exchange. I don't know about you but my holiday season isn't complete until I see Dave Silk being given a pair of silk underpants.

7. Jarhead (2005)

It turns out that it wasn't the waiting, the boredom, the heat, the sand, the thought of his girlfriend at home cheating on him, or his being denied the killing he was meticulously trained to do that drove Lance Corporal Anthony Swofford to have a mental breakdown. It was the fact that he missed out on Christmas 1990 with his family, of course! The closest he got was getting drunk and dancing naked wearing nothing but a Santa hat and even that got ruined by clumsy Fergus falling asleep on the job. Way to go Fergus, you ruined Christmas in Kuwait!

6. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

I honestly don't know why people pick Die Hard as the definitive faux-Xmas flick over OHMSS. This one's got it all: a wintery Swiss setting chock full of winter sports, loads of Christmas decorations, and a gift exchange scene involving beautiful young ladies being hypnotized into committing acts of biological warfare. Does Die Hard have those things? Nuh uh. Does Die Hard have Ernst Stavro Blofeld saying “Merry Christmas, 007”? Didn't think so. Sure, in Die Hard John McLane and Holly get back together at the end but do they get married like Bond and Tracey did in OHMSS? No they don't. I rest my case.

5. The Godfather (1972)

The Godfather is often cited as one of the best movies ever made. It is also one of the best Christmas movies ever made and here's why. There's not one but two scenes showing characters shopping for Xmas presents. Michael and Kay are having a fun time shopping for their friends and Tom Hagen gets kidnapped by Sollozzo the Turk while shopping for his kids. What a nice way to spend the holidays.

4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

You know I'll talk about this movie any chance I get. That's because TGWTDT is one of my favourite movies ever – and if we're going by Die Hard rules then it counts as my favourite Christmas movie of all time. In fact it's so Christmassy that it has Christmas in it twice! That's right, Xmas appears near the film's beginning – Blomkvist is at a Christmas party and Lisbeth gives a gift to her ward only to find that he's had a stroke – and again at the very end when Lisbeth gets a gift for her crush Blomkvist only to find that he's a man whore. Yeah, late December doesn't seem to work out well for Lisbeth Salander.

3. Batman Returns (1992)

Well, damn. Here I was going to make a big tongue-in-cheek thing about how Batman Returns is totally a Christmas movie – what with tons of decorations, trees, snow, and holiday greetings – but Wikipedia of all people beat me to it. Of course the joke was that Batman Returns is a somewhat dark movie with disturbing visuals and insane characters set against a backdrop of the most peaceful and joyous of holidays. But Wiki-freakin'-pedia already has it in their Christmas movies category. You know you've failed at comedy when an online encyclopedia beats you to the punch. Oh well, speaking of Batman...

2. The Dark Knight (2008)

There's a scene where one of Joker's crazy henchman says all the voices in him were replaced with lights “like Christmas”. 'Nuff said.

1. Jingle All the Way (1996)

You probably didn't know this but Jingle All the Way is actually a Christmas movie. Even though it clearly wasn't meant to be. It couldn't have been. There's no way that's what they were going for with this film. In truth Jingle All the Way was intended as a black comedy, a satire depicting the over-commercialization of North American society and how rampant consumerism has driven us all mad to the point of greed, violence, and theft. The film's “happy ending” is simply some greedy kid being given some plastic toy he covets. Materialism brings everyone together, I guess. But if you look closely you can see some subtle Christmas flavour sprinkled about. For example, in some scenes you can catch a glimpse of some Christmas decorations. And did you know the reason people are buying so much stuff in this movie is because 25 December is approaching? And lastly, if you look closely enough you might just see Santa Claus in there somewhere. The only downside is that in order to spot any of this you have to pay attention to the movie, which I wouldn't recommend.

100 Film Reviews Special: Top 10 Worst Movies I've Reviewed

Back in April I celebrated my 100 movie reviews by counting down the top 10 best films I'd written a review for. I think it's only fair that I do the same for the not-so-great masterpieces of crap that I've had to sit through. And so for your reading pleasure here are the top 10 worst movies that I've ever reviewed. (By the way, all of these reviews you can find posted here on Arnold's Benediction.)

10.  Project Almanac (2015)

Now, to be fair Project Almanac isn't a horrible movie but it is a very forgettable one. In fact right now I'm struggling to recall things that I can say about it. All I remember is that the characters were a bunch of self-absorbed brats who used time travel for their own personal gain (though really, who can blame them?) and the ending left a bunch of lingering questions. I have mentioned this film a few times on this blog so if you want to do some time travelling yourself just head on over to that search bar. Sorry, that's all I've got for this one.

9.     Apollo 18 (2011)

“There's a reason we've never gone back to the moon.” There's also a reason I've never watched this movie since it landed in theatres: it's dull. It's a shame that with such an interesting premise – a found footage horror movie taking place on a lunar mission in the 1970's – Apollo 18 could turn out to be so boring and forgettable. I remember the cinematography being good and the plot being threadbare, but not much else. I guess some found footage movies are better left unfound.

8.     Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Now this is what you call a hot mess. At the time I still thought well of 2012's Amazing Spider-Man so my expectations were good for this one. But as the end credits started rolling on this 2014 sequel I knew I had just witnessed a stinker of a film. It has a lot in common with another disappointing spidey flick, Spider-Man 3 (2007). They've both got intriguing relationships, good acting, and decent action but they've also got an overloaded plot with too many villains and unnecessary references to Peter Parker's past. But Amazing Spider-Man 2 is less watchable and has an irritating amount of sequel-baiting for a follow-up that never came to pass. I would say that it's a good thing that the Spider-Man movies got rebooted again in 2017 but honestly my appetite for the webslinger on the big screen has diminished significantly. So yes, it's possible that this movie was so bad that it killed my enthusiasm for Spider-Man movies. Way to go, guys.

7.     The Lone Ranger (2013)

A heroic, high-flying western made by the same guys who did the Pirates of the Caribbean movies was an undertaking that had a lot of potential, but also a lot of warning signs. Unfortunately The Lone Ranger contented itself with emulating the lamer POTC films with its bloated length, confused tone, and overstuffed story. But it added to the list of old familiar problems by having a total wussie of a main character who puts the moves on his brother's widow mere days after the man's death. It is true that The Lone Ranger is a great looking movie – the cinematography is superb and the sets and costumes are fine crafted down to a T – and the end train-chase sequence is thrilling, but ultimately it isn't enough to lasso victory from the jaws of defeat. The rest of the film is simply too much of a chore to sit through.

6.     Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

1996's Independence Day was some good cheesy fun. As a kid I loved it so much I remember watching it with some friends for my birthday party once. Its hefty scope, likeable characters, and ground-breaking special effects made it a must-see for its day. It's certainly a shame that its 20-years-later sequel gets none of those things right. Instead we get an overblown scope that makes the whole thing look silly, dull characters who lack charisma, and run-of-the-mill CG effects that we've since grown numb to. Add to that a ton of expository dialogue, subtract anything that might get you emotionally invested, and round it all off with a cynical amount of sequel-baiting (good luck with that) and you'll end up with this fine mess. Pretty much the only things I did like about Independence Day: Resurgence was the interesting setting and Jeff Goldblum. In short, Resurgence is just another one of those “remember me?”, almost a franchise, CG-laden, snorefests that Hollywood loves to crank out these days. Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life here.

5.     Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)

Oh right, I keep forgetting that this series continues. And I really don't see why it does either. It's sad. By the time Dead Men Tell No Tales came around the well of pirate-related ideas had pretty much run dry. The bad guys in this movie are ghosts, which seems rather underwhelming given the multitude of creatures and monsters seen in previous instalments. What this movie does carry over from its predecessors are the never-ending plot holes and the boring romances. Not even the performances of Johnny Depp, Goeffrey Rush, and Javier Bardem are enough to make this film worth watching. I think the perfect word to describe Pirates of the Caribbean at this point is draining. We've had our fun with pirates, but now it's time to let it end. Please just stop.

4.     Jason Bourne (2016)

Oh my gosh, it's Jason Bourne! Was it any surprise that this movie sucks the big one? The warning signs were all there. First off, it's a Bourne movie that's come long after audiences' appetite for these films has dried up. Next, it ignores the not-great-but-still-better-than-this Bourne Legacy (2012) by not including the much more likeable Jeremy Renner. And third, the title's laziness is a pretty good indicator of how copy-paste the rest of the film is going to be (it's rarely a good sign when after a bunch of sequels the latest instalment's title is simply the character's name). The titular agent is an empty shell of a man. He wasn't much interesting to begin with but in this outing Matt Damon simply looks tired of doing this again as indicated by his meagre dialogue. Well if they bothered resurrecting this dormant series they probably came up with a good, gripping story, right? But no, it's the same plot as all the others. A shady high-ranking CIA dude who's at risk of being publicly exposed tries to hide evidence of his wrongdoing by sending an assassin to go kill off his former agent Bourne who tries forming an uneasy partnership with a female agent on the inside. It's lazy, so lazy that the previous two sentences you just read were copy-pasted straight from my review of Jason Bourne. If the film's writers can do it then so can I! And don't get me started on the incomprehensibly choppy action scenes that're fit to give you motion sickness just like it did to me. All in all, the only part of Jason Bourne that gave me joy was that I got to use the phrase “hardcore Bourne-ography” in my review. Other than that, it's trash.

3.     God's Not Dead 2 (2016)

The first God's Not Dead is a film so bad that it's a blast. I've seen it several times with friends and we've laughed ourselves silly. But God's Not Dead 2 is a film so joyless and dull that I've not seen it since it slumped into theatres. That's probably because it actually tried (a tiny bit) harder to portray more believable situations and people. Gone are (most of) the evil atheist stereotypes, gone are the terrible folks of other faiths who beat their family members senseless, and gone are the Duck Dynasty cameos. On the other hand we see the return of one-sided arguments, pointless subplots, dull acting, and Reverend Dave having the worst luck in the world. Oh yeah, the Newsboys are back too. Can't forget that. On the whole, God's Not Dead 2 is kind of boring and plays like a movie that could've been straight to DVD. And as it says in the Book of Tony, being boring is one of the wickedest sins any film doth committeth.

2.     After Earth (2013)

How? How did this happen? I'll tell you how: Will Smith wanted to show how off how cool his son Jaden is so he hastily wrote a dull, unimaginative story that was somehow supposed to spawn a trilogy of films because that's what all films try doing nowadays. Here's an idea: just make a good movie, worry about sequels later! Bringing on M. Night Shyamalan to direct certainly didn't do the lifeless script any favours either with his propensity for unenthused narration, uninspired sets, boring monologues, and numerous flashbacks. There's also some plotholes and illogical nonsense. For example, how come the whole “Earth's gravity is stronger than home's” stuff isn't brought into play? What does Cypher expect a toddler to do against a man-eating monster that's invaded his house? Why does the Ursa – the aforementioned monster – stick its victims on trees instead of eating them? But ironically it's the acting that stands out as the worst part of After Earth, a film meant to showcase the two lead actors. Will Smith gives an unaccountably emotionless performance as he spends most of the movie sitting in the same chair, talking directly to the camera. Meanwhile, Jaden Smith comes off as a whiny dweeb who falls asleep at least five times throughout the film. He tries but he severely lacks the charisma his father has (y'know, in other movies!). At the end of the day After Earth isn't the worst sci-fi movie ever made, but it will be remembered as a laughingstock for years to come.

1.     Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

And here we are, the worst movie I've ever written a review for: Transformers: Age of Extinction. Is anyone surprised? For years now it's been en vogue to roast Michael Bay's Transformers series of films as nothing more than overhyped, big-budget, brain-dead drivel. While I normally try to go into a movie with an open mind I must confess I knew this was going to be a bad one. The most I expected was that perhaps this fourth Transformers movie would be slightly more refined than previous instalments, maybe a few lessons learned, kinks ironed out. But no, how naive. The trademark horribleness is in full force here with the familiar kooky humour, irritating robots, dizzying camera movement/editing, mindless action scenes that go on for way too long, preposterous romances, puzzling casting, blatant product placement, in-your-face US flags, and explosions ad nauseum. Optimus Prime screams manically like a coked-up Vietnam vet and we're supposed to believe that Mark Wahlberg is a nerdy inventor. The goodguy transformers suck and they fight eachother more than they do the badguys. And to top it all off the film is obscenely boring, no thanks to the overabundance of action and humourless comedy. You'll have gone numb to the dazzling effects and never-ending action by the time the climax comes 'round. Not even robot dinosaurs were able to pull me back into this mess. That's the biggest thing I want everybody to know about Age of Extinction: the boredom it induces. We all like to poke fun at the Transformers series but do you really remember how it felt the last time you sat through one of these things? It was a chore, an utter waste of time. I'm never going back. You can't make me.

100 Film Reviews Special: Top 10 Best Movies I've Reviewed

Here we are. It's hard to believe that I've done one hundred movie reviews over the course of nine years. Casually reviewing movies has been a lot of fun and for those of you who have stuck around to read these things this is my thank you gesture: the top ten best films I've reviewed. (FYI: Each of these films' reviews can be found on this blog.)

10. Looper (2012)

Looper is a mostly forgotten sci-fi thriller movie that I think is criminally underrated. I wish I could go back in time and sing its praises even louder so that more people knew about it! If you've heard about Looper's plot then you'll probably just think it's Terminator set in the Midwest, but those who've seen it can tell you that it is so much more than that. It's a thought-provokingly original story that pits a hitman named Joe against his own future self. The tension comes from watching how far old Joe will go to fix his reality and how far young Joe will go to set things right in his own reality. Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt's dual performance as Joe is a joy to watch and the action is tense. If you like smart sci-fi action films then you've got to give this one a try.

9. The Disaster Artist (2017)

Is seems strangely appropriate that a movie famous for being terrible would spawn a “making of” comedy-drama that is famous for being outstanding. The Disaster Artist got me hyped up like few other films have and it did not disappoint. If you've seen The Room (2003) – which I recommend before watching this – or read Greg Sestero's book The Disaster Artist then you'd know that the story of The Room's production would have to be put to film one day. A tale with this much weirdness and hilarity, but also heartbreak and inspiration, demands it. And it's a tale that's handily brought to life by a magnificent performance from James Franco as the enigmatic Tommy Wiseau. Watching this outcast chase his dreams makes for some great entertainment and a fine addition to the feel-good genre of films.

8. Baby Driver (2017)

If this was a top 10 list of the funnest movies I've ever reviewed, then Baby Driver could very well be #1 on such a list. Few other films I've reviewed have such high-energy direction, cool characters, gripping action and tension, and a unique use of music. While I've never agreed with the notion that a film's music is itself a character I would say that the way songs play in Baby Driver set the tempo and mood for almost every scene. It's a different way to experience a film and I hope more action movies take note of this.

7. Gravity (2013)

Perhaps the best-looking movie I've reviewed, Gravity is a beauty to behold. Through the masterful cinematography, the viewer experiences how isolated, cramped, and fatigued the astronaut characters are at various points. Suspension is also sustained through the film's tense score and the special effects are so well done that it's easy to forget that more than 85% of what you're seeing was made in a computer. While there's not too much going on story-wise Gravity still manages to be an enthralling film, borrowing themes found in other shipwreck/survival movies and adapting them to the most extreme of settings, the final frontier. It's a true wonder of a movie, one you can easily lose yourself in.

6. Logan (2017)

While it isn't a perfect movie, I do believe that Logan is one of the best superhero movies of this decade and certainly the best I've written a review for. In his last performance as Wolverine, Hugh Jackman gets one hell of a sendoff with a brutal, heart-wrenching movie that will be remembered by X-Men fans for years to come. Finally we get to see a hard R-rated film about everyone's favourite Canadian mutant which tells the story of the end of his life. It's a great story in which an indifferent and cynical Logan realizes that there is still hope for people like him and he finds value in fighting for the next generation. I know I'm going to be watching Logan many more times in my future, because it's a powerful film and its main character is the best there is at what he does.

5. Skyfall (2012)

In 2012, the 007 series was in dire need of a good movie. 2006's Casino Royale was brilliant but its follow up, Quantum of Solace, was a shoddy disappointment. It would be an excruciating four years until Bond fans got their next 007 flick and if this one turned out to be a stinker then the Daniel Craig era of Bond would be dead before it had ever truly lived. Thank goodness Skyfall ended up being an action tour de force that easily ranks as one of the best James Bond movies ever made. With its masterful characterization, fun action scenes, dazzling direction, comfortable acting, cool musical score, and dry British humour Skyfall is a film for all action fans. Though I still think Casino Royale was better than Skyfall, I will say that the latter film is the more accessible and perhaps more exciting of the two. Sam Mendes, mission accomplished.

4. Dunkirk (2017)

I've already spoken at length about how much I've enjoyed this film. I've written about the captivating cinematography, the pulse-pounding score, the dazzling stunt work and practical effects, the exciting action, and the uplifting ending. Dunkirk is an excellent addition to the war film genre as it depicts a battle not often seen in major films and it also brings focus to the fact that not all combatants in war are indomitable heroes, sometimes they're simply trying to survive unwinnable situations. In this regard I guess Dunkirk is roughly comparable to Thin Red Line, albeit less wordy and less boring. If that won't want to make you watch Dunkirk then I don't know what will.

3. Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

Gosh darn, 2017 was a good year for movies! With the deluge of lazy cash-in sequels and remakes that Hollywood churns out nowadays it is very refreshing to see a sequel that is worthwhile and does its predecessor justice as Blade Runner 2049 does, and I'll admit that I was worried when I heard news of this film being made. I should've realized that those fears were unfounded once it was revealed that Denis Villeneuve directed it and Hampton Fancher (co-writer of Blade Runner) co-wrote it. Not only is it a spectacular film to watch but it is about as faithful to the original as one could expect, right down to the compositions, score, and dialogue. Probably the biggest difference between the two films is the ending; the original left audiences with an ambiguous ending whereas the sequel concludes on a hopeful note. Overall, it easily ranks as the best film I saw on 2017.

2. Interstellar (2014)

I've already mentioned this movie several times on Arnold's Benediction, probably because it's so amazing that I can't stop thinking about it. To me Interstellar embodies all the wondrous things that movies can be about, showcasing how imaginative and creative movies can be while also showing some heart with a moving story. And of course it's all pulled off with the highest professionalism and quality we expect of a Christopher Nolan film: great acting, effects, cinematography, and music. In short, Interstellar is out of this world! Heh heh.

1. The Revenant (2015)

If you've ever read my Top 20 Best Movies I've Ever Seen article (November 2016) you may be surprised that this film is ahead of Interstellar. I guess I've re-evaluated my opinion on the two films because I now find The Revenant the more interesting of the two. It is a movie that is violent and visceral, yet also hauntingly beautiful. Tom Hardy and Leonardo DiCaprio give some of the best performances of their careers and director Alejandro Iñárritu creates a mesmerizing tapestry of a film that includes numerous sustained shots and dazzling compositions. I'll admit that it's a challenging film that isn't for everybody but it is a rewarding one for those who pay close attention. Just let this film take you away to a different time and place. It'll make you want to not blink.

Top 10 Movies of 2017

  2017 is at an end, and it's been a great year for movies. Not a great year for the Hollywood establishment, mind you, but the movies last year were still great. My only regret is that in the past twelve months I focused too much on movies that were good and didn't take the time to go out and take risks. (I mean, watching bad movies sucks but at least it's fun to write reviews about them!) On the plus side, since I saw so many good movies this year, I can finally do a list like this: these are the top 10 best movies of 2017. Before I begin, keep in mind that this list only includes films that I saw in theatres in 2017. I did go to the theatres just 17 times since January so if there's a great movie you don't see here then don't get upset; I probably just didn't see it. (Or I didn't think much of it. You make the call.) Let's get started!

10. Ghost in the Shell

It's not racist, shut up. Ghost in the Shell is a fantastic sci-fi action spectacle with an amazing visual presentation. Fans of flashy, neon, 1980's-looking science-fiction will be very pleased at what imaginative concepts director Rupert Sanders and cinematographer Jess Hall have brought to life on the big screen. While the story of GITS isn't the most original, the film is held together by a strong performance from Scarlett Johansson. Despite knowing nothing about the original source material I found GITS thoroughly entertaining and I can't wait to see it again.

9. Split

(Yes, I'm aware that Split was first released at Fantastic Fest in 2016. But it didn't get released in theatres until this January so its inclusion here is fair. You got that?) I'm not exactly a big fan of M. Night Shyamalan and I knew that I was taking a gamble by going to see one of his films at the cinema. But I was impressed because Split was actually pretty good; the man should stick to thrillers. This unpredictable, claustrophobic flick is well directed and equally as well acted thanks to a standout performance by James McAvoy playing a dude with multiple personalities who kidnaps teenaged girls and locks them in his basement. All in all Split is an effective thriller that doesn't rely on convoluted plots or in-your-face special effects, just back-to-basics storytelling with a neat villain to keep your attention. If it sounds interesting to you at all, go check it out.

8. It

At number eight we've got another scary movie: It. It seems that Hollywood wants us to believe that all horror movies are fair game for a remake, but unfortunately the remakes are usually worse than the originals. It, however, is one of the few exceptions. This retelling of the story of Pennywise the murderous clown goes lighter on the story (and thankfully the run time) and heavier on the scares. The children characters are all well written and since the adult stuff is being saved for the sequel that means that we get more time to know them in this film. The 1980's setting was believable, not overly-done, and the scares were calculated just right. Horror fans rejoice.

7. Wonder Woman

Supergirl (1984). Tank Girl (1995). Barb Wire (1996). Catwoman (2004). Elektra (2005). Superhero/comic book movies centred around female characters don't have a very good track record, do they? So who better to buck the trend than the Amazing Amazon, herself one of the earliest superheroines. With its spectacular action scenes, neat setting, capable direction, compelling (some might say inspirational) main character, and superb performances from Gal Gadot and Chris Pine, Wonder Woman has also done wonders to make the DC Extended Universe enjoyable. This is largely thanks to its somewhat more lighthearted tone, something that this year's Justice League has also picked up on. It is true that Wonder Woman borrows a lot from 2011's Captain America. As to which one of those two films is better, it's up in the air... along with the invisible jet.

6. John Wick: Chapter 2

Since this movie came out on blu-ray I've rewatched it several times and it never gets old. The mind-blowingly well-choreographed and energetic action scenes are the most excitement I've seen in a film since the Darth Maul lightsaber duel in The Phantom Menace. Apart from that John Wick: Chapter 2 boasts intriguing world-building, spot-on acting from Keanu Reeves, kickass musical scoring, and distinctive visual styling. Since seeing this film in February I have watched the first film and while I found it to be very enjoyable I believe that the second instalment is the superior action experience. I simply cannot stress how refreshingly fun this film felt during my first viewing. To me it looks as if John Wick is set up to be one of the 2010s' best new action series.

5. The Disaster Artist

Haha, what a story, Greg. The Disaster Artist is a movie I've been waiting years to see and its arrival in December didn't disappoint. The story behind the making of The Room (2003) had a lot of potential, both comedic and poignant. This is something the writers and director (James Franco himself) knew well since the final product achieves weird hilarity and touching bromance/inspiration. Franco gives one of the most truly memorable performances of his career as Tommy Wiseau, a weirdo driven to succeed that you'll end up both loving and despising during this film's 103 minutes run time. I was slightly disappointed that there was some stuff from the book left out, but I do understand that it was sacrificed for the sake of a smooth pace. All in all, The Disaster Artist is a charming and fun feel-good flick. I would recommend seeing The Room first, but those who've not seen will still find this one enjoyable.

4. Logan

I've really liked Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. He's one of those few actors who's played the same character in so many movies that you can't imagine anyone else playing the role. It seems fitting that Jackman's (purportedly) final outing as Logan is his best. Imagine 2013's The Wolverine but with even more gritty badassery, more down-to-earth action set pieces, and a bigger emotional stake and you've got Logan, one of the very few movies I've gone to the theatre to see twice. It's violent, but also very emotional. It is easily the best X-Men movie in my opinion, and perhaps one of the best superhero films ever. If you like gritty R-rated action films or if you're looking for a superhero film that does things differently, then you need to check this one out.

3. Baby Driver

Even though I gave Baby Driver a 5-star review (which I still stand by) I wasn't quite sure where to put it on this list. Yes, it's an excellent film that's a lot of fun to watch thanks to its brisk pace, energetic camerawork, cool soundtrack, pulse-pounding action scenes, and lively characters. But the reason my review of it was so short was because there wasn't much to say about it in depth. Instead Baby Driver is an exercise in pure genre, taking all the best elements of crime-action films and packaging them into a sleek and stylish overall product. If you haven't had the chance to go see this one yet, do yourself a favour and check it out, because out of all the films on this list Baby Driver is easily the most enjoyable.

2. Dunkirk

For number two on this list we have the highest grossing WWII film ever made. Dunkirk tells the story of the allied evacuation from three different perspectives: soldiers on the beach, fighter pilots in the air, and sailors coming across the channel. It's a marvellous setup that provides plenty of moments of tense action as well as director Christopher Nolan's signature time-bending plots. His impeccable eye for spectacular cinematography is evident here, giving the audience a good look of working WWII-vintage props in action; CGI was used very sparingly. And of course Hans Zimmer contributes a soundtrack, this one adding a pulsating anxiety to the mix. This adherence to visceral realism makes the action sequences very gripping, recreating an authentic battlefield experience. And don't take my word for it; I took my grandfather with me on my second viewing. Having been a young boy in England during the war and serving in the RCAF, he confirmed that this film's aerial warfare was true to life (except for that gliding shoot-down near the end). On the whole, Dunkirk is one of Nolan's best films to date and will likely be remembered as one of the best war films of this century.

1. Blade Runner 2049

As good as Dunkirk was, my choice for 2017's best film was an easy one. In an age of slap-dash sequel cash-ins Blade Runner 2049 was made by people who truly cared for and respected the masterpiece that was the original Blade Runner from 1982. The story told in this cerebral sequel – which will turn your expectations upside down – builds upon and adds to the world set up in the original rather than just recycling the same plot and world elements. The visual effects are of the highest quality and they bring to life some of the most mind-boggling concepts and breathtaking environments. Sure, it doesn't look much like the classic 1980's film we remember, but this sequel takes place 30 years later so it makes sense in the context of the world 2049 takes place in. It's a great way of staying consistent within the series while at the same time showing us something new. This also comes from the dazzling visuals of director Denis Villeneuve and cinematographer Roger Deacons; few directors could have done a better job with such a project. Overall, Blade Runner 2049 is a remarkable achievement in sci-fi film and it's a real shame that it didn't do so well at the box office. It isn't most necessary sequel ever, but it is definitely a worthwhile one.

Top 10 Favourite Movie Quotes

Good morning, Vietnam! Suffice it to say, movies have a huge impact on our culture. Their memorable quotes can go on to influence the way we speak, even to the point where we don't realize it. Everybody's got their favourite movie quotes and so today I'm going to list the top 10 quotes from movies that I've seen. I've chosen these quotes based on their coolness, their humour, their power, and/or just simply how often I repeat them myself in everyday situations. And for the record, this list isn't written in stone. I watch new movies all the time and a lot of them have great lines. Who knows, maybe this list will be completely different a year from now. So let's get started, and may the Force be with you.

Honourable mentions:

• “Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!” -Dr. Strangelove (Peter Sellers), from Dr. Strangelove (1964)
• “Pizza time!” -Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), from Spider-Man 2 (2004)
• “Bond. James Bond” -James Bond (Sean Connery), from Dr. No (1962)
• “Yeah... You didn't-You didn't know that?”-The Blob (Kevin Durand), from X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
• “Terminate... with extreme prejudice.” -Jerry (Jerry Ziesmer), from Apocalypse Now (1979)

10. “Sometimes he performed cunnilingus. Not often enough, in my opinion.” -Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Lisbeth Salander has got to be one of the most fascinating movie characters I've seen in recent years, and to me this line pretty much sums up her attitude. It's the character's introductory scene and right away we see all of her unusual mannerisms at work: choosing to not answer certain questions, a blunt, to-the-point manner of speaking, impatience with small talk, switching between avoiding eye contact and intense staring. All of this comes to a head when Dirch Frode demands to know Salander's personal opinion on Mikael Blomkvist's character, and whether she left anything out of the report she wrote on him. She eventually relents, revealing that Blomkvist has long been having an affair with his co-editor. She caps off the revelation with this gem of a line while staring blankly into Frode's eyes. I simply love this quote, and I picked it because it's at this moment the viewer realizes “this is who we're going to be following for the rest of the movie, this is going to be a cool character, I want to see more.” Frode's response: “You're right not to include that.”

9. “Gentlemen! Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The third rule of Fight Club: someone yells stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over. The fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.” -Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) from Fight Club (1999)

David Fincher strikes again with another great quote from another memorable character, this time Fight Club's Tyler Durden. Pretty much everyone who's a fan of Fight Club has these rules memorized, as if they themselves have joined Project Mayhem's private little army. And those who aren't have at least heard of the first two rules. And that eighth and final rule caps it off with a challenge, a hint of excitement. I find it interesting that a group of disgruntled men who're devoted to spreading anarchy and chaos are still fully committed to following a set of rules. It's even more ironic that those rules become the most memorable lines from the movie. Oh well. It's still really awesome. P.S. – Did anyone else notice that Bob still gets to wear his shirt when he fights? It's probably for the better...

8. “I did not hit her. It's not true. It's bulls---! I did not hit her! I did not... Oh hi, Mark.” -Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) from The Room (2003)

If you have not seen The Room, then you have not lived. It's as simple as that. I could sing the praises of that magnificently/ineptly made film all day long, but one of its greatest contributions to humanity is its quotability. There are so many great quotes in this movie. Probably the best known quote, repeated several times throughout, is “Oh hi, Mark.” But by far my favourite quote from The Room stems from the worst bit of acting in the whole movie – and that is saying a lot. It's the one line that always has me bursting into laughter on the verge of tears. Apparently, Tommy Wiseau – whose acting ability is journeyman at best – had trouble remembering the first part of this 18-word line (8 words if you don't count repeats). It took him forever just to (a) say all the words right, (b) look in the right directions, and (c) move in the proper positions. So the film crew called it quits after finally getting the first usable take. And thus cult-b-movie history was made.

7. “It's been hard... the writing lately. Terrible numbness. And then suddenly it comes in beautiful fragments or terrible dreams... Like nods. So high...” -Jim Carroll (Leonardo DiCaprio) from The Basketball Diaries (1995)

The Basketball Diaries is a heavy, powerful movie. It's not exactly a great film but it is one that you can't look away from while at the same time it isn't easy to watch. Upon finishing it, you'll be thinking about it for weeks afterwards. Part of what makes it so powerful, I think, is the narration which is taken straight from Jim Carroll's poetry/journal entries. It just sounds so cool, the way he articulates how his hardcore drug addictions are eating away at his creativity and his thought processes. The only downside is that this exact line is almost overshadowed by the silly, overly-dramatic visual “symbolism” that accompanies it. Still, I think that it's noteworthy that Jim was near death in this scene and were it not for the timely intervention of his own guardian angel this line would have been his last thought. Feels kind of haunting, doesn't it?

6. “Chill out. Dickwad.” -Terminator (A.K.A. T-800) (Arnold Schwarzenegger) from Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

And here we have the first of many great Arnold quotes on this list. I'm going to level with you: pretty much the only reason I've ranked this quote here is because I use it myself nearly every day. I'd like to think of myself as a fairly laid-back type of guy and I love getting the chance to tell people to calm down in a detached monotone voice that doesn't give a f---. My only wish is that the Terminator had used this line again when a heartbroken John Conner begs him to not to self-destruct. What could be more coldheartedly badass than that?

5. “It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.” -Elwood Blues (Dan Ackroyd) from The Blues Brothers (1980)

Ah, Blues Brothers. How could anyone not enjoy such a rich collection of lovable characters, excellent musical numbers, clever celebrity cameos, and insane car chases? As if that's not enough, there's also a good bunch of lines: “I hate Illinois Nazis”, “I have seen the light!”, “We're on a mission from God”, “This ain't no Hank Williams s---!”, “I'm going to become a priest”, and “Are you cops?” “No ma'am. We're musicians.” But this one here has to be the best. The Blues Brothers know that their final objective is just within reach and it's time to get their show on the road. So Elwood sets the tone with this great line (making the audience question, just for a moment, exactly why the two are always wearing shades). It's the ceremonial phrase spoken between friends who are about to embark on a road trip for the ages. Let's just hope it's not as destructive.

4. “I wrote it down in my diary so that I wouldn't have to remember.” -Henry Jones Sr. (Sean Connery) from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

In the great debate about which Indiana Jones movie is best, my feet are firmly planted in the Last Crusade camp. This third movie has all the charm and straight up fun of the original, but with even better villains and better side characters, not the least of whom is Indy's father played by none other than Sean Connery himself. A thrill to follow, this character is bookish and aloof, but he can sometimes deliver a stern line or two like this one. Indy doesn't want to go to Berlin to get his father's Grail diary, but Henry says they have to because it contains clues vital to navigating the booby traps guarding the Holy Grail. Indy impatiently asks “Can't you remember [the clues]?” and Henry retorts with this deliciously condescending line. The reason I've ranked it here because it is a line I have quoted more times than I could ever count, most of the time to my boss or (ironically) to my own father. I don't have a perfect memory. Do I look like the mental stenographer type?

3. “Get your ass to Mars.” -Douglas Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) from Total Recall (1990)

It doesn't get any more absurd than this. A smiling Arnold Schwarzenegger talking to another version of himself with a towel wrapped around his head like a turban telling him to go to Mars just moments after yanking an impossibly huge tracking device out of his nose. It's the kind of ridiculous goodness that Arnold fans live for and it sounds even better with that accent of his. I also like how such a goofy line is said so straight, without a beat. What else is there to say? I like this line because it's silly. Is that so wrong?

2. “Who are these assholes to say when doomsday approaches? I say when doomsday is approaching!” -Richard Nixon (Robert Wisden), from Watchmen (2009)

I think Richard Nixon is a fascinating historical figure. I love seeing portrayals of him in movies like Frost/Nixon (2008). I also think he's a fun historical figure to poke fun at (especially in fiction), and that's why I like movies like X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) and Watchmen. What's great about Watchmen's Nixon is that he's still president in 1985 and he's now a little bit crazy, as evidenced by this wonderful line. Here's the scoop: Dr. Manhattan, the cornerstone of the USA's nuclear deterrent, has left Earth for Mars (because of quote #3) and so the opportunistic Soviets are preparing to invade Afghanistan. As a result, the Doomsday Clock has been moved to two minutes to midnight. This upsets Dick, who's gathered his staff and generals together in the war room à la Dr. Strangelove (1964) causing him to utter this little bit of power-mad raving. Oh, Dick. Don't ever change.

1. “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?... I lied.” -John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) from Commando (1985)

Do I even have to explain this one being here? If Arnold is the king of cheesy quotes and one-liners, then this is his crown jewel. It is the icing on the cake of a flippant, nonchalant kill of a slimy bad guy henchman that the audience is sure to hate by this point in the film. The cool thing is that this quote does indeed build off one of the film's earlier cheesy lines: “You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last.” (Spoiler alert: he's one of the first to die.) Commando has got to be my favourite of the classic 80's Arnold action movies and it's probably because it has more cheesy lines than the others. And when they're this freaking stupidly over-the-top awesome, how could you not feel a surge of testosterone-filled fun?