My Top 20 Favourite Video Games Ever (Part 2)

Sorry about the delay. I had some computer issues a couple weeks ago but it's all good now. Let's take a look at numbers 10 to 1.

10. Brothers in Arms: Earned in Blood (Xbox, 2005)

I've already written at length about the Brothers in Arms series (back in March 2016) so I won't go too much into detail here, but suffice it to say I think BIA is a great underrated series for fans of tactical shooters. Road to Hill 30 (2005) was a good debut but it was just a bit too linear. Hell's Highway (2008) had a great story but wasn't challenging enough. For me it's the second game, Earned in Blood, that holds the trilogy's crown. It upped the ante in terms of smarter enemies, enthralling storytelling, and more open-ended levels that made you think more. Not to mention it had more multiplayer modes and even multiplayer bots. All three BIA games are fun but if you're thinking of just getting one, Earned in Blood is my recommendation.

9. Splinter Cell: Blacklist (Xbox 360, 2013)

If you've read my Splinter Cell game rankings (January 2016) then this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. While Blacklist isn't a perfect game it is hard to deny the amount of effort put into it, not to mention the amount of fun you'll get out of it. In a return to the series' signature form, it combines the fluid gameplay of Conviction (2010) with the stealth and level design of the original trilogy (2002-05). A strong contender for most replayable game in the series, Blacklist is bursting with content: in addition to the single-player campaign, there's a coop campaign and an additional twelve levels that can be completed either solo or coop. Combine this with the three different playstyles and you've got a game you'll be playing for a long time. Overall, Blacklist is a fun and accessible game that I would recommend to anyone curious about the stealth game genre.

8. RollerCoaster Tycoon (PC, 1999)

And now for something completely different. I mean, this list can't all be console action games! RollerCoaster Tycoon is an addicting game that I still get out and play from time to time. There's so many fun things to do, it's a game that you can easily lose yourself in. By customizing the names of the park/rides I would make parks with ridiculous themes like King of the Hill quotes or a cyborg revolt against humanity. Whenever guests would die in a roller coaster crash I would build a statue and plant tons of flowers around it, rebuild a new roller coaster in its place, and give it a name that had the word “memorial” in it. Sometimes I would hire about 20 or so guys in animal costumes and have them all patrol the same little strip of footpath, mobbing any guests who tried to pass through. I'd always make at least one ride that was called “Pooping my pants” so that when the guests got off it they'd all say “Pooping my pants was great!” And sometimes if time was running out and my guest count wasn't high enough I'd dig a hole, wrangle up all the people who were thinking “I want to go home”, and drop them into the hole from which they had no means of escape! And all this stuff is just the tip of the iceberg. RollerCoaster Tycoon is a timeless game that never gets old. If you've never tried it before, consider picking it up sometime. You will not be disappointed.

7. NHL 2002 (PC, 2001)

Like most Canadian boys, I grew up playing a healthy amount of hockey... video games. I'm not particularly good at sports in real life so instead I kicked ass on virtual ice with the NHL games -- or "chell" as I like to call it. I've played NHL 98, 99, 2002, Hitz 2003, 2004, 2005, 07, 12, and 17 in varying amounts and out of all of those I've gotten the most enjoyment out of NHL 2002 (with 99 as a close second). This was back when the NHL games weren't trying too hard to be realistic. The players didn't move around slugishly and lethargicly and the contols weren't overly complicated. 2002 is a fast-paced game, just as a hockey game should be. The movement is fluid, the hits are devastating, and the slapstick colour commentary featuring Don Taylor is amusing. For (I believe) the first time in the NHL series you could choose which jersey each team would wear, which as a fan of both retro hockey and the Vancouver Canucks (the NHL team with the most uniform changes) I found to be awesome. Another awesome thing was the trading card system – which if it was done in today's NHL video games, I guarantee it would be tied into loot boxes or other such microtransaction BS – which allowed you to unlock mods and cheats. These mods included silly things such as sumo suits, big heads, higher/lower pitch voices, and my personal favourite, Shrink n' Grow. In this mode players shrink when they're hit and grow when they score goals, and after a few minutes it makes for a hilarious match. It's this whole arcade style of gameplay and presentation that is so sorely missing from recent games in the NHL series. But if you ever want to go back to a simpler time when sports games didn't have to take themselves seriously then NHL 2002 has got you covered.

6. Batman: Arkham City (Xbox 360, 2011)

From a purely objective point of view Batman: Arkham City may be the best video game I've ever played. It's definitely the open world game I've played through the most and one of the very few games in which I found every collectible. In this game Batman takes on Arkham City, an open-air prison full of common crooks, political prisoners, undercover cops, and of course a whole bunch of supervillains. This open world isn't terribly large but it is amazing how much stuff is packed into it including collectible Riddler trophies, Riddler riddles, AR challenges, side missions, destructible objects, hostages who need rescuing, crime scenes to investigate, mysteries to solve, and prisoners to beat up. And the world you're playing in is really fleshed out with all sorts of characters who each have their own backstories. Also the progression system is rewarding since it unlocks new combat moves and gadgets, encouraging further exploration and replays. And did I mention that Catwoman and Robin each have their own campaigns too? The developers' attention to detail in Arkham City is commendable; they've made a game you can spend a ton of time with. If I was stranded on a deserted island and I could only have three games to play there, Batman: Arkham City would easily be one of them.

5. Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (Xbox, 2005)

I've written about this game before (January 2016) and everyone seems to agree that Chaos Theory is easily the best game of the Splinter Cell series. So let me tell you about why I rank it as one of my favourites. It's a game that makes you think for yourself. The most obvious path to your objective is often the most dangerous and difficult and so you must learn to find your own way through the levels and make use of things in the environment that you normally wouldn't notice. It encourages you to explore for hidden paths. In short, it makes you think like Sam Fisher would. It's what makes completing a level with a 100% success rating feel so satisfying. Chaos Theory was the first Splinter Cell game I played and I'll admit I got stumped a lot. But I persevered, eventually beating it and all the other SC games. Looking back I have to say that this was the Splinter Cell with the best soundtrack, the best level design, and the fairest challenge. It's no wonder why this game is liked by so many people.

4. Gears of War 2 (Xbox 360, 2008)

What can you say about Gears of War 2? It's just a good game, as simple as that. I've played all games in the Gears series except 4 and I believe that Gears 2 was the best of them. It was more refined, varied, and graphically impressive than the first Gears. It was more hardcore, serious, and fun than the third Gears. (For the record, I really liked GOW: Judgment, I just thought it was a bit short.) GOW 2's campaign can accurately be described as a badass simulator, chainsawing vicious foes, firing powerful-sounding weapons, and delivering brutal execution moves all along an interesting plot that takes you to unexpected places. And then there was the multiplayer which I sunk a ton of hours into; seriously, GOW 2 is one of the two games I've spent the most time playing (#1 on this list is the other game). The maps were great and the game modes were even greater. My personal favourite was King of the Hill on Ruins. Gears of War 2 was my introduction to the Gears series back in 2008 and I've been hooked ever since.

3. Civilization III (PC, 2001)

Strategy is a genre I don't play all that often but when I find a good strategy game I stick with it. Just like RollerCoaster Tycoon, Civilization III is a highly addicting game that I've been playing on and off for a decade and a half now. In Civ 3 you build up an empire by establishing cities, controlling resources, trading with other nations, managing productivity, keeping your people happy, and defeating opposing civilizations in battle. It's a game that is rich in detail and deep in terms of gameplay. Each civilization has its own distinct personality thanks to unique military units, historical leader figures, and civilization traits. For example France – the one I played the most because I seemed to do the best with – is an industrious and commercial society led by Joan of Arc and can produce musketeers. It's also really fun to see your empire progress through eras of history, learning scientific advancements which can support new city improvements and military units. Declaring war gives you a rush like nothing else, but it's not a decision to make lightly. Getting into the wrong conflict can have serious consequences! There are several different ways of winning the game, which supports different play styles and strategies, making replays a must. It's a game that never stops giving.

2. Halo 2 (Xbox, 2004)

My first few exposures to Halo 2 were always as I was hanging out at friends' houses playing the multiplayer. The game's presentation was the first thing that struck me: the jaw-dropping sound effects, the captivating music, the crisp blue menus, the multiplayer voice guy, the cool weapons, and the heavy-duty looking player characters just blew my mind. When I got around to getting my own copy of the game I quickly came to the conclusion that Halo 2 is the coolest game ever made. Though I hadn't yet played Halo: Combat Evolved (2001) I found Halo 2's story and universe to be fascinating. With such likeable characters, interesting enemies, and great locations I found the experience quite immersive. And the gameplay was fantastic also. The Legendary difficulty setting on Halo 2 was notoriously hard – full retard, basically – but after years of learning the intricacies of combat and all the right tactics I eventually beat the sucker on its most challenging setting. Conquering one of my favourite games on an infamously brutal difficulty: that made me proud. Although Halo 2's multiplayer mode was technically outclassed by its successor it is still a phenomenally awesome multiplayer suite, one that my friends and I still play occasionally.

1. Star Wars: Battlefront II (Xbox, 2005)

Please note, I said 2005, not 2017, as if that greedy pile of vomit deserves to share the name of this gem of a game. No, son. This is the classic Star Wars shooter game that deserves your attention, money and time. And that it has gotten; Battlefront II, along with Gears of War 2, is one the games I have played the most. My disc has got so many scratches on it it's a miracle my Xbox still runs it! I grew up during the prequel age of Star Wars and it was pretty awesome. The movies weren't the greatest but we still liked them. The video games were even better and we ate them up. In 2005 there came along an intense third-person shooter that put you into the boots of the soldiers fighting in all the franchise's big battles from episode I to VI. It was busy, chaotic, and fun. You had so many maps, several game modes, space battles, and even heroes from the movies one could play as. You could be Darth Maul cutting down clone troopers by the hundreds with your doublesaber like a one-man army, but sometimes it was more fun to just be an ordinary engineer sneaking behind enemy lines capturing command posts, trying to survive on your own with nothing but your shotgun, your health packs, and your wit to keep you going. You could hop in the AT-AT walkers on Hoth and blow up everything and everyone, or you could be a sniper holding out as long as you could at the shield generator base on Endor. In space battles you could land a squad aboard the enemy's flagship and destroy its systems from the inside or you could get in a starfighter and just fly around and shoot down enemy ships. In addition to multiplayer there was also the Risk-like strategy war game Galactic Conquest (which I don't think I ever completed when played against my brothers, we were just too good to fail!) and the undercooked but still enjoyable singleplayer campaign. With so many things to do and so many different ways of doing them it's no wonder I spent so much time having fun with Star Wars: Battlefront II. It's just that good.

Thanks for reading

My Top 20 Favourite Video Games Ever (Part 1)

This is it, the one list that every gamer wants to make yet despairs when the time actually comes to make it. I'm talking about a ranked list of my personal favourite video games, that games that have given me the most enjoyment over the years, the games that I (almost) never get tired of playing. Making this list wasn't easy; in fact I'm still not sure about the order I've got here. (It'll probably have changed by the time I'm done writing this!) But such is the fate of an entirely subjective list based on preferences that aren't easily quantifiable. Let's do this!

Honourable mentions: Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare (2007), Guitar Hero: World Tour (2008), Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis (2005), Star Wars: Republic Commando (2005)

20. Brütal Legend (Xbox 360, 2009)

If you haven't heard of Brutal Legend then I apologize in advance because my words here won't do it justice. You play as Eddie Riggs, voiced by Jack Black, the greatest roadie the world has ever seen as he gets transported back in time to a world inspired by heavy metal album covers. Armed with his lightning-summoning guitar and his trusty battle axe it's up to him to lead the human resistance and defeat hordes of demons, glam rock sellouts, and goth panzies. With its face-melting soundtrack, impressive voice cast, cool character design, jaw-dropping environments, and fun sense of humour Brutal Legend is a game that you'll want to explore every nook and cranny of. It does have a few downsides: the graphics are low-res and light on details, the side missions are repetitive, and the control scheme is a bit puzzling at times. (There's no jump button. Also it took me 2.5 playthroughs before I found out there was a sprint button!) Still, Brutal Legend manages to be a pretty fun game that serves as a heartfelt tribute to heavy metal subculture. Rock on.

19. Ultimate Spider-Man (Xbox, 2005)

Ultimate Spider-Man is a game that has a lot of sentimental value to me. It was the first video game I ever bought with money that I'd earned from a job. At the time I was a huge fan of the Ultimate Spider-Man comic series and I frequently compared myself to Peter Parker in middle school (I wasn't in high school yet). I had previously played the games based on the Spider-Man movies, but they didn't exactly blow me away perhaps because of their non-original stories and sometimes clunky controls. But Ultimate Spider-Man had none of those problems; it was like Spider-Man 2 (2004) but with more refined controls, an original story, more rewarding collectibles/unlocks, and a dazzling art design. And did I mention that you can also play as Venom? Needless to say, this game was one the coolest things in the world to my 15 year-old self. Sure its open world wasn't as big as the previous game's and it could be frustratingly difficult at times but that didn't hinder the feeling of truly being in a story of the Ultimate comic series. Excelsior, true believers!

   18. Call of Duty: Black Ops (Xbox 360, 2010)

Alternate history is one of my favourite subgenres of fiction, one that I wish video games would do way more often. This is probably why I like Black Ops so much. The Cold War is such an enthralling era of history which doesn't have all that many games focusing on it. Anyone who says that video games can't be educational needs to play this game. If it weren't for Black Ops I might never have learned about things such as the Vorkuta Gulag, the Baikonur Cosmodrome, Kowloon's walled city, MK Ultra, and Rebirth Island. And it's all wrapped up into a gripping story in which the fate of the world is at stake. As if that wasn't enough Black Ops has by far my preferred CoD multiplayer mode and it even has Dead Ops Arcade, a four-player overhead twin stick shooter that's way more fun than it has any right to be! This game has so much bang for your buck it's unreal.

   17. The Simpsons: Road Rage (Xbox, 2001)

You might be thinking “Tony, what the heck is this game doing on a list like this?” I'll admit, Simpsons: Road Rage is a simple game, one that wasn't meant to be played for hours on end. It's basically a ripoff of Crazy Taxi, in which you take control of Simpsons characters and pickup passengers and shuttle them to their destinations around Springfield as quickly as possible. Successful runs award the player with more cash (i.e. high scores) which allow the player to unlock more locations and playable characters each with their own vehicle. Sounds simple, right? That's because I haven't told you about one on one mode! In this mode two players compete to be the one to deliver more passengers. It involves ramming the other player to steal the passenger, a lot of detours to lose your opponent, and a ton of sneaky manoeuvres to try to shake off your pursuer. I play this game a lot with my brothers and when you get two experienced players facing off it makes for an intense, sweat-inducing game. Seriously, if you can find this game on the cheap its two-player mode easily makes it worth a try.

    16. Doom 3 (Xbox, 2005)

This is some serious crap. I don't play horror-type games often but I thoroughly enjoyed Doom 3's campaign which is set in a dark, creepy research facility on Mars that's been invaded by demons and monsters from hell. The scary enemies that spawn from nowhere without warning, the inability to hold a weapon and the flashlight at the same time, and the unnerving sounds one can hear are extremely effective at putting the player on edge. This is one of the very few “silent protagonist” games in which I felt truly immersed. I think this is due to two things: the outstanding sound design and the PDA. Early on, the player is given a PDA through which they can read emails and listen to audio logs that are found throughout the game. In addition to providing security clearance and helpful tips (such as supplies storage), these emails and audio logs offer significant story details and really help flesh out the world you're playing in. While I do have a couple gripes with this game – the enemies who constantly respawn behind you do get rather annoying, plus weapon switching can be cumbersome at times – I still have tons of fun with Doom 3. Horror developers, take note.

    15. Forza Motorsport 4 (Xbox 360, 2011)

I've played plenty of Forza games and while they're all very finely crafted racing simulators I'd have to hold up Motorsport 4 as my preferred title of the series. It's more detailed and varied than Forza Motorsport (2005), less restrictive than Forza Motorsport 3 (2009), and is more straightforward than Forza Horizon (2012). The variety of tracks and cars available were phenomenal, the unlockable cars (AKA autovista) were really cool, and the number of unlocks, titles, and events was mind-boggling. I especially liked the little things they included such as how each pass, turn, draft, and drift is given a grade from one to four. These grades were surprisingly helpful in teaching the player how to play the game. And just like the other games in the series, it was very highly polished with excellent physics and graphics. Also, the commentary from the Top Gear guys was amusing and gave this game a bit of personality. If you like racing games at all, then Forza Motorsport 4 is a game that's easy to love.

    14. Halo 3 (Xbox 360, 2007)

Please don't get mad at me for not putting this one higher on this list. I had become a Halo fan after playing through Halo 2 the year before and I was all aboard the hype train in anticipation of Halo 3. I was slightly let down at things like the lacklustre sound effects, slower pace of gameplay, and lack of surprises in campaign. While it's not as memorable or as badass as its predecessor I still appreciate Halo 3 for what it is: a well-designed sci-fi action FPS set in a fascinating universe with enemies that are fun to tango with. This entry in the series added new vehicles and weapons, had fun locations for single-player, had a fantastic soundtrack, and gave the players more multiplayer options than ever before. It's a game that my friends and I still play to this day and probably will continue playing for quite some time. From a purely objective viewpoint it's probably the best Halo game ever made but there's just one other game in the series that I prefer over Halo 3. More on that later...

13. Wolfenstein: The New Order (Xbox 360, 2014)

Why yes, this game did come out on Xbox 360. (I don't have an 8^th gen console... yet.) Remember what I said about how much I love alternate history in CoD: Black Ops? That goes double for Wolfenstein: TNO. In this game the Germans have won the Second World War through their use of highly advanced technology. The game takes place in a 1960 in which the Third Reich rules most of the world and has even established a colony on the moon. This is a fantastic – if somewhat absurd – setup for a video game; rarely have I been so enthralled at a game's character and environment design. What's more, TNO boasts some very fun and addicting gunplay as well as some options for those who prefer a stealthier style of gameplay. Though it can be difficult at times, Wolfenstein: TNO never feels frustrating and it rewards players who are willing to change up their strategy from time to time. That's what being a great first-person shooter is all about.

12. Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360, 2010)

What can I say about Red Dead Redemption that hasn't already been said? It's one of the best games this decade and one of the best open-world games ever made. Never has the act of driving around – or in this case horseback riding around – and shooting things been presented in a way that's so fresh and exciting. At times it really did seem like I was playing a Sergio Leone film thanks to the excellent soundtrack, enthralling story, and diverse cast of relatable characters. And that's not even counting all the interesting side missions! There's so much to do, so many places to go, so many people to meet, so much trouble to get into. It's a highly detailed and beautiful looking game. Describing it all in depth would take up an entire article on its own. I'll just leave it at this: Red Dead Redemption is a game that took on the often underutilized setting of the old west and brought it to life in the most ambitious and amazing way one could hope for. You done good.

11. Fight Night 2004 (Xbox, 2004)

It's no secret that the best part of an EA Sports game is getting to make your own butt-ugly characters. Fight Night takes it one step further by letting you make butt-ugly characters who can then beat eachother up! My brothers and I would go all out with the dudes we created in this game. I even went through the trouble of making Beavis and Butthead to watch them duke it out. Even without all that silly stuff, Fight Night is a fun and intense game. It's probably my favourite sports game aside from the NHL games. Making your way up to the top and fighting some of history's greatest boxers was a simple yet satisfying setup for a career mode. Really the only complaint I have is that all the punching is mapped to the thumbstick which works well, but if you play the game at length (like I have) I guarantee that your thumb will end up calloused. But as your coach tells you between rounds, “This is boxing, kid: pain comes with the territory.”

That'll about do it for this week. Check back next time for the top 10.

Top 10 Worst Recurring Problems/Trends With Video Games

So last week we looked at some irritating aspects of video games that are overused and stereotypical. But when making that list there were a bunch more problems that I just couldn't let slip. I tried grouping these problems separately in that these are more like stupid directions/tendencies that video games as a whole seem to be heading towards rather than problems with individual games. Whereas cliches will have you simply rolling your eyes, these following problems are the ones that you should be genuinely concerned about in today's gaming industry. Or something like that. Just consider this the second half of last week's list if you want. Let's roll.

10 – Difficulty settings that you have to unlock

I will never understand this design decision, other than the fact that it tries to make you play through the game a second time. Why is a game's highest difficulty something that I have to earn? It should be something that's available right at the start. This is just lazy; unlockables in video games are supposed to be rewarding, not basic necessities. What's worse is when you're playing a sequel of a series that you're already well familiar with – like me when I first played Gears of Wars 3 and Judgment – and you can't have the challenge you want until you've already beaten the game once. C'mon, man! Veteran players already know how this game works. Don't treat the player like a baby.

9 – Unskippable End Credits

Same as last week's #1 worst cliche, but slightly less aggravating. These are just credits and it is the end of the game, so you could just get up and do something else while you're waiting for them to finish. However, the end of the campaign is supposed to feel satisfying and rewarding, not tedious and punishing! Developers, I know a lot of hard work went into your game, but c'mon, we already paid money for the damn thing. Be thankful for that and call it a day.

8 – Clumsy Weapon/Item Switching

Don't you just hate it when you're in a tight jam and you need to use a weapon or item quickly but the controls just won't allow you to do it? Video games – action games, especially – need to have a way to swiftly select things. Otherwise you'll get screwed sooner or later. Even though I consider it a great game, Far Cry 3 has caused me a lot of grief in this category. In this game you switch weapons by holding the left shoulder button and selecting the weapon with the thumbstick, which is OK but it would've been better if this was mapped as a simple press of the D-pad. Instead the D-pad is used for your camera, throwing rocks, and two random syringes – and you'll never remember exactly which syringes they are. To heal you have to press and hold the Y button, which is a pain in the ass. Holding the Y button takes too long and it doesn't even work for about 1/3 of the time. This “hold Y” bullcrap is the cause of probably 80% of my deaths in Far Cry 3. Other than that, if you want to use anything else you have to painstakingly do it from the start menu, bringing the gameplay to a screeching halt. What a load.

7 – Sequels that change up the controls

You've just bought the latest game in one of your favourite video game series. You pop the disc in. You start the game aaaaaaaaand... the controls are totally different from before. Dangit! Most of the time it isn't a huge big deal, but every once in a while they change up something critical to your survival/success. Like in Gears of War: Judgment, where I wasted a ton of grenades all because the objective/squad status button has been replaced with the grenade throw button. What's worse is when in one game the controls are really awkward and different and then in the next game they go back to being fairly straightforward. For instance, playing Splinter Cell: Blacklist right after playing SC: Conviction is a complete mess. I end up crouching when I'm trying to reload. I've aimed when all I wanted was to get into cover. I've leaped into cover when I wanted to perform a melee takedown. I've been spotted a lot because I pressed the “attract” button, expecting to see what the objective is. And worst of all, I've wasted so many gadgets just trying to crouch! Thanks, Conviction. You completely screwed up the following (and, might I add, much better) game.

6 – Short Single-player Campaigns

I know I'm definitely in the minority here, but I spend a lot of time playing the single player mode of video games. In fact, I don't think I've ever gamed online (with consoles anyways, I've done it before with PC games). To me at least, the meat of a game should be its single-player campaign; the multiplayer is the icing on the cake... of meat. (And if we're talking about a game that's multiplayer-only, then forget it.) That's why it really bothers me that a lot of games nowadays seem to be geared much more towards multiplayer with ever-shortening campaign modes of less and less creativity. It breaks my heart to see such games as the newest Star Wars: Battlefront have a campaign that's less than a couple hours long, especially when the original Battlefront games actually tried to do a fun single-player story mode. And that was over a decade ago! You'd think that games without a campaign mode would instead have a mind-blowing, revolutionary multiplayer mode where all their effort was directed, but for the most part multiplayer games haven't changed all that much in the past few years. And then there's the games that are single-player-only but they still have very short campaigns, like The Order: 1886. What's their excuse? Out of respect they'd better not be full price, because there really is something to be said of games with which you'll be completely finished in just one or two sittings.

5 – Difficulty Spikes

In video games, difficulty should be increased gradually in increments. But sometimes a game will unexpectedly crank up the hardness, which isn't very fair to the player especially when it's for no apparent reason. For example, about 2/3 of the way through Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 – a squad-based tactical shooter – you're sent on a mission to clear out an oil refinery. Not only are there snipers everywhere, dozens of bad guys waiting around every corner, and exploding hazards all over the place, but also your squad has been taken away and you have to do this all by yourself. Oh come on! This is supposed to be a tactical shooter, so why don't I have my squad with me? I tried playing this game through on the highest difficulty setting, but this is where I got stonewalled and gave up. There are other times when the developers can't think of a decent challenge for the last level so they instead just throw everything and the kitchen sink at you. This rarely goes over well, as was the case in such games as Battleship (2012), Rambo (2014), and Deadpool (2013). Way to go, guys.

4 – Unclear objectives

I know I complained about hand-holding and intelligence-insulting tutorials last week, but sometimes the exact opposite problem can bug the crap out of you. Designing video games requires a delicate balance between directly stringing the player along and just dropping him in the middle of nowhere with no clues at all of what to do. Everyone has at some point played a where-the-frick-do-I-go type of game. Every time that happens to me – like in Half-Life 2 or Tomb Raider: Legend – I find myself thinking of the Coldplay lyrics: “Where to, where do I go?” That's right, you can tell that even Chris Martin has gotten stuck in video games with unclear objectives. This issue is why I've come to hate Red Dead Revolver so much. Right now I'm about halfway through that game and there's hardly been a single level where I didn't have to look up what to do. Would it have been too much for them to just drop a hint every now and then? If this ever happens to you, here's what to do: keep your phone handy, then when you get stuck speak the words that I've repeated countless times over the years: “Almighty YouTube, show me the way!” The sad part is that if this happened to you in the age before YouTube and the internet then you were screwed, sometimes permanently.

3 – Not Enough Checkpoints

This one's self explanatory. Video game levels that have only a couple save points are never an easy affair, and it's the kind of problem that you only notice when you're doing a hard level. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like having to redo things over and over. It's incredibly frustrating, another reason why I don't like Red Dead Revolver very much. That's why games with quicksaves are da bomb. That way if you screw up/die you can pick up at that challenging spot right away (if you saved) instead of having to go through hell and back just to try it again. Be careful though, because games that have quicksaves like Doom 3 and Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory sometimes have no checkpoints at all. And of course you'll never find out until you die for the first time and are forced to restart the entire level all over again.

2 – No Couch Coop/Local Multiplayer

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Yeah I know that online gaming has revolutionized the video game industry and all that bullcrap, but come on! Video games are most fun when you're playing with a friend; you know, a friend who's in the same room as you. Same-screen gaming has been a part of video games for as long as anyone can remember, even in the days of Pong and Magnavox Odyssey. Since when did the idea of two or more people playing together on the same screen become obsolete? Why take it away? I'll tell you why: it's a blatant attempt to force people into buying more consoles and copies of games. I think my heart skipped a beat when I learned that Halo 5 was not going to have splitscreen. That's right, the thing that Halo did best, the thing that made that franchise what it is today is now lost and gone forever. To me that's as crazy as a sports game not having local multiplayer. According to Angry Joe, it's all because of a new prevailing doctrine amongst developers/publishers known as “F--- you! Give me money!”

1 – Preorder/DLC/Microtransaction culture

This may not come as a shock since I just mentioned that I'm not much of an online type of gamer, but I do think that this problem is a huge waste of time and money for lots of people. Let's face it: video games aren't cheap, so when I buy a new game for full price I expect a full game. I don't want to install anything. I don't want to have to wait for things to update. I don't want to have to download a bunch of extra content to wind up having a complete gaming experience. I understand that not all DLC is bad. Patches that fix coding problems are OK. Paying a few extra bucks for additional maps and campaign levels is OK, but when it gets to the point where the release-state of the game is really only half a game – Star Wars: Battlefront (2015), anyone? – something has gone horribly wrong. A lot of downloadable content is just stuff that should've been included in the game already. What's worse, when it gets to the point that you have to pay additional money just to unlock/activate items or characters that are already clearly on the disc (i.e. you've already paid for them) it's obvious that the developers/publishers have lost their way and only care about the money. Capcom and Ubisoft should be ashamed of themselves. In the more complete games of the past, the player would unlock these things by completing some challenge or using good old-fashioned cheats. Nowadays it's all microtransaction this and preorder that.

In conclusion, when I play a video game all I want is the console, the controller, and the disc/cart that the game comes on. That's probably why I like old school gaming so much. I guess I'm a man of simple tastes. Thanks for reading.

Top 10 Worst Video Game Cliches

Back in February I wrote a list of what I think are the top 10 worst movie cliches. This week I've decided to list the most annoying cliches found in video games. Video games are lots of fun, but all it takes is one little thing to totally spoil each one. For this list I've included aspects of games that I feel are unoriginal and overused. If a common gaming problem you hate didn't appear here, then check out next week's list of top 10 video game trends.

10 – Your Helicopter is Shot Down

Just a minor complaint here, but you ever notice that helicopters in action games crash/get shot down a lot? And by a lot, I mean all the time. And with each instance, it becomes more and more predictable. It happened in Halo: Reach. It happened in Splinter Cells Conviction and Blacklist. The Call of Duty series especially abuses this stereotype. Your helicopter gets shot down in Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare, at least twice in CoD 4: Modern Warfare, and no less than three times in Black Ops. And your character always walks away without any bone fractures as if it was nothing. It's a miracle to survive one helicopter crash, let alone three! Bottom line: helicopters in action games are death traps. Don't enter one!

9 – Quicktime Events

I'm sure you've heard people complain about this one a lot, but it really is that big of a problem. It isn't so much irritating as it is disappointing. There's three reasons why. First, the demanded button presses are often counter-intuitive as to the action you're supposedly performing. For example, twirling the thumbsticks around would work if the player's character was spinning or rotating something, like the lock-picks in Splinter Cell or Skyrim. But how does alternately mashing the triggers simulate pushing things away, Ultimate Spider-Man? How is pressing three random buttons anything like using a rolling pin, Fable 3? The second problem is that the button prompts that you're supposed to be keeping an eye on usually force the player to look away from where the action is. You'll end up not even seeing the result of your button presses because you're too busy keeping alert for the next button prompt! And third, quicktime events are just boring and not fun. How many times have you made it to a final boss, excited to kick his butt, only to find out that you need only press a few buttons to win. QTE sequences take control away from the player, leaving him/her only with the ability to choose how long the sequence continues. For this reason, a failed QTE attempt feels all the more frustrating and cheap. In short, quicktime events should be relied upon far less because they take away the player's agency and reduce him/her to a passive observer of the action.

8 – Sequel-baiting

We truly live in the age of video game franchises. Hardly a any successful game goes by without being granted some sort of sequel. This isn't a bad thing, if the game has earned it. Unfortunately some games think that if they leave the game on a cliffhanger it'll have to warrant a sequel. They're wrong! Gamers want self-contained stories. It's OK to leave the door open for a followup – maybe one or two seemingly minor loose threads to be resolved later. But games like Half-Life 2, Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days, Halo 2, The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct, The Order: 1886, and Homefront end so clumsily that they really do spoil the feeling of accomplishment you should feel upon completing a game. The proper way to secure a sequel is to do the game right the first time so that we want to play more of it; not by leaving out the game's ending, that's sloppy. What a shame.

7 – Regenerating Health

It seems that nowadays it's not often that you play a game that has a health bar which does not regenerate on its own. I play a lot of shooter games and in this genre regenerating health has pretty much become commonplace – even in tactical shooters which are supposed to be rooted in reality! I mean, having your wounds fully healed by touching a first aid kit wasn't all that realistic in the first place but it made a lot more sense than simply sitting still behind a wall for a few seconds. Not only that, but a non-regenerating health system encourages the player to explore the level, thus making exploration more rewarding: I'm looking at you, Halo 2. Also, multiplayer games that use regenerating health are typically littered with useless weapons that aren't powerful enough to kill enemies quickly – i.e. pistols have gotten the shaft lately. In my opinion, regenerating health is only useful if you're playing on an extreme difficulty or if the game you're playing has a really poor checkpoint/save system.

6 – You're the only competent one around

Don't you just love games in which your AI allies are completely useless? The games that constantly and thanklessly bark orders at you to do other peoples' jobs? (Come to think of it, this is starting to sound like my job.) I know video games are supposed to make the player feel empowered, but could the NPCs please stop being so lazy? When it comes to the point where one man single-handedly turns the tide of a major battle, it gets kind of ridiculous. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 unintentionally created an internet meme with its constant “Ramirez, do this!” and “Ramirez, do that!”, expecting the poor private to do everything.

5 – Intelligence-insulting Tutorials

Tutorials seem so lazy and boring nowadays. All they are are just uninteresting mini-levels that waste your time explaining how to do the most basic things. “Use right thumbstick to look. Pull right trigger to shoot. Press start to pause.” No, really!? I never would've figured that out on my own. Game developers need to realize that gamers aren't idiots and are capable of recognizing basic patterns that are found in performing actions in video games. When was the last time you played a video game that had an interesting tutorial? Most of the time games just plainly flash the instructions on screen with no creativity, not even trying to mesh the tutorial within the context of the level. More games need tutorials like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare or the original Splinter Cell, whose tutorials took place at obstacle courses on military training grounds. Those were cool. Or better yet, design the tutorial in a way that subtly guides the player through the basic moves without overt instructions, making the gamers feel as if they discovered it on their own. Wouldn't that feel more satisfying? Empower the players, man!

4 – Telling You To Hurry Up

Sections that have arbitrary time limits are bad enough, but how annoying is it when you're playing a level that is not time sensitive and yet the NPCs still have the gall to tell you to hurry up. This can often happen when you're trying to explore a level – the NPCs reminding the player of the level's/game's ultimate objective – in which case the gamer's typical response is “Screw you. I'll do what I want!” But other times it can be during just one part of a level in which the game is trying to instill a sense of urgency; if that's the case, then just put a time limit on that one small part. I won't mind. I especially hate it when the game tells you over and over that you need to do something and then doesn't bother to tell you how you're supposed to do it. Do you think I'm a retard?! Do you think I'm not trying?! Just shut up already!

3 – The Silent Protagonist

A fairly common convention in video games is to never have the player's character talk. The reasoning behind this is that it is easier for the player to project their personality onto the character and relate to that him/her. Unfortunately, this pretty much always results in that character having no personality of their own. This is why I don't understand people who think that Master Chief (Halo) or Gordon Freeman (Half-Life) are some of the greatest video game characters ever. How can you call them characters when they hardly say a word? With Halo it's not so bad because at least Master Chief talks during the cutscenes, plus Cortana is there to talk to you during the gameplay. But with Half-Life it is so boring because there are no cutscenes; Gordon Freeman never says a single word. Ever. Whenever people are talking to him, he comes off as some shy, timid dweeb. And yet everyone seems to know what you're thinking and what you need. In short, playable characters who don't talk are awkward, boring, and forgettable.

2 – Hand-Holding

In response to cliche #4, sometimes the complete opposite can pose a huge problem too. Like when the player is supposed to do something and some large, obtrusive instructions flash on screen and don't go away until you finally do that thing. I hate that crap. Most video games don't need those waypoint markers telling you who to follow/where to go. Most of the time, the person/destination is straight forward and the player can easily find it himself (if the game is designed competently, that is). And just like with regenerating health, waypoint markers don't encourage the player to explore the level. It's true that video gaming has become more accessible and casual in the past couple decades, but you don't need to dumb down the way gamers are expected to think. An example of this is the Splinter Cell games. In the earlier games, you were expected to figure out how to navigate and traverse the levels on your own. But with the later Splinter Cell games, tooltip icons pop up whenever you're in a position to do something. What's more, interactable/manipulable objects are often highlighted when you use your (sigh) sonar vision. It's almost as if the games are straight up telling you exactly what to do/where to go. Instead you'll find yourself repeatedly saying, “Yeah, I get it. Thanks.”

1 – Unskippable Cutscenes

I know that the story is an important part of the game that developers work hard on, but can't they just accept that people don't always want to watch them? Moreover, did it not occur to them that people often do multiple playthroughs and have already seen the cutscene? Making cutscenes in video games unskippable is just a dick move. It makes games like Destiny, Call of Duty 3, Max Payne 3, Assassin's Creed 3, and Metal Gear Solid 4 very hard to get into – and even harder to want to make you want to replay. Is this supposed to be fun? The worst offenders are unskippable cutscenes that come directly before a boss fight or other such difficult part where you're likely to die a lot: you're screwed. The Angry Video Game Nerd said it best when he remarked, “Is this what kids do nowadays: sit around and watch video games?!”

Movie (Sort of) Review – Halo: Nightfall

OK, I know that Halo: Nightfall isn't technically a movie, it's a webseries. But the way I watched this was in a collected format on blu-ray which came out earlier this year, so close enough. I also decided to write about this movie since there doesn't seem to be that many reviews for it floating around. A couple weeks ago at a Halo tournament with a bunch of friends I was voted MVP (for some reason; I really didn't play all that well) and was awarded with this (thanks, Dylan!). Now let me just quickly tell you where I'm coming from, here: back in the day – from around 2005 to 2009 – I was a huge Halo fan. I played all the games, read all the novels, and listened to the soundtracks. But after a while, I guess I got tired of it and I fell out of the loop. I eventually did play Halo 4 – the first few levels – but it just didn't feel right and I couldn't bring myself to finish it. And I'm not planning on playing Halo 5 any time soon (but that's a story for another time). So can this Ridley Scott-produced series/movie/whatever be the jumping-on point that I needed? Let's find out!

Halo: Nightfall starts off with some ONI (office of naval intelligence) guys casually following an alien whose species was never shown in the games or novels – dangit, three minutes in and I'm already lost! Way to go, guys! Well, I looked it up and it turns out that this guy did appear in the comics. OK, fine, whatever. So our plot, which takes place between the events of Halo 4 and 5, follows ONI agent Jameson Locke trying to shut down a network of Elite terrorists. He does this by tracking down where the materials for their chemical weapons are coming from. This leads his team to a place that should be familiar to all Halo players, except this place is now occupied by a grave threat. The location for this film is a pretty cool idea, though it doesn't have all that much payoff to it. Unfortunately, the story winds up falling into standard survival movie territory that you've already seen lots of times before. It's also supposed to serve as an origin story for Locke: give away the ending much? There's only about three interesting characters, but at least the acting is all-around decent.

Nightfall isn't like traditional Halo stuff that we're used to. There's pretty much no gunfights or battle scenes. That's rather sad since not only is Ridley Scott great at doing battle scenes (Black Hawk Down) but also because shooting stuff is kind of what Halo is all about. Likewise, there's only three alien species in this game: one we haven't seen before and another which displays abilities radically different from what we've seen in any other media. (Seriously, if this species did behave this way in the games, the player would get wrecked all the time.) And as I mentioned earlier, the movie takes place in a familiar setting, but it just looks unrecognizable. Also, why the hell are there so many of those aliens at this place anyways?

The production was alright. The sets, environments, props, and costumes all look good. The CG effects, not so much. The cinematography was OK, not much to say there.

When I was given this movie, I jokingly asked, “Is it like Predator, but on Halo?” It turns out that that joke was actually fairly accurate. The only difference is Halo: Nightfall's plot is less original and it has a Halo paint-job. Mind you, it's a rather thin paint-job with familiar guns that are scarcely fired, a few aliens that behave in ways we've not yet seen, and a location that is unrecognizable. Overall, this barely feels like a Halo movie. If you want to get into Halo 5 and other subsequent media, you can probably skip this and it wouldn't make a difference. And if you take away the Halo name and judge it on its own, then all you're left with is an ordinary, by-the-numbers survival movie that's set in space. In short, Halo: Nightfall is watchable, but also forgettable. For die-hard fans only.

Rating: two-and-a-half out of five.