Movie Review -- Solo: A Star Wars Story

  Another Star Wars movie already? But it's only been five months since the spectacle of mediocre dumbness that was Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. If Disney and Lucasfilm want moviegoers to spend their hard-earned doubloons on another Star Wars film so soon then they'd better bring their A-game. Or as Grand Moff Tarkin would say, “We're taking an awful risk, Kathleen Kennedy. This had better work.”

  Solo: A Star Wars Story follows a young Han Solo on his first heists in the galaxy's criminal underworld. Along the way he teams up with prisoner Chewbacca, smuggler Lando Calrissian, thief Tobias Beckett, and Han's former lover Qi'ra. It's a plot that's pretty dull, is somewhat predictable, and has lots of attempted jokes that don't always work. It seems that a lot of the scenes telegraphs their moves: they all begin with a character briefly mentioning some exposition about where they are and what's going on and right away you'll know “that thing he/she just off-handedly mentioned is definitely going to happen in the next ten minutes”. Lastly, there's an unacceptable amount of sequel-baiting for a movie that's supposed to be a self-contained chapter in an anthology series! Combine this with the fact that Alden Ehrenreich's contract is for three films – even though this first one is taking a beating at the box office – and you've got a pretty good example of what a cart before the horse looks like.

  But if you're a big fan of excessive fan service then you'll freakin' love Solo. Apparently everything important Han Solo-related thing in the Original Trilogy happened during this one adventure. You'll see the origin of every little thing you never really cared about from Han Solo's name to various classic (and some obscure) quotes. But this is all surface level reference stuff. Aside from Han's relationships with Lando and Chewbacca, there's no meaningful links to the original films or the Star Wars universe as a whole. If only they'd spent their creative energy on making this film worthwhile on its own.

  Speaking of which, Ehrenreich does an alright job in his performance as Han Solo, which largely sustains the whole film. Through him we see Solo change from underhanded idealist to cynical outlaw. But as good as Ehrenreich is here, he predictably doesn't hold up to the charisma of Harrison Ford. The same can be said of Donald Glover as Lando; good but not as good as Billy Dee Williams. Paul Bettany's performance as crime lord Dryden Vos is good, even if his character is somewhat generic and underutilized. Qi'ra is bland, not interesting at all. Oh yeah, and Chewbacca is now a savage brute who eats humans and rips people's arms off. Way to tarnish a classic character.

  It gets worse. There's this badass gang of speeder bike-riding pirates whose leader is later revealed to be a red-haired teenage girl with freckles. (Once you find out about this it is impossible to take her and her gang seriously.) There's an annoying droid who is an SJW (yes, even within the context of the Star Wars universe). And there's one character pointlessly brought back from the dead from a previous movie – it seems that nobody can let this person die peacefully.

  At least Woody Harrelson does a good job as Beckett.

  Solo's production value is about as good as most other Star Wars films: the sets look good, the music sounds exciting, and the CG effects are as frustratingly OK as ever. However, its scope is noticeably smaller which makes me wonder, by the Force, how the heck did this movie cost $250 million to make!? Not only is Solo the most expensive Star Wars movie, it's one of the most expensive movies period! No wonder this film is losing tons of money.

  So that's Solo: A Star Wars Story, an exceedingly average sci-fi action movie whose existence represents everything I dislike about today's Hollywood blockbusters: an obscenely-budgeted, unwanted cash-in with no heart made by uncreative studios who try shoving their politics in your face while also prematurely assuming that they'll be successful enough to crank out an unending, risk-free stream of sequels. Judged on its own merits Solo isn't terrible but it ends up being a lot like last year's The Last Jedi: by the standards of any old sci-fi action movie it's OK, it's just not a very good Star Wars movie.

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