Movie Review Repost -- Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Sorry, dudes. I've got nothing new this week. You know what that means: a repost of an older review that I did during my Facebook days. And since next month will see the release of a new Pirates of the Caribbean movie, I think it would be appropriate to look at my review of the last movie the series gave us, On Stranger Tides. My opinions on the Pirates series has been very up and down. I like the first movie, in which Johnny Depp wanders into what would've otherwise been a dull romance movie and ended up stealing the whole show. The second and third films were convoluted snooze-fests. And then there's this one, which was easier to digest but not exceptionally well written. As you'll see here, my thoughts of it haven't changed much since 2011. Enjoy.

   So there's a new POTC movie out this summer. Is it better than the last two? Let's find out. I'm going to be comparing them to the other ones a lot, so be prepared.

   Our new leading lady is Penelope Cruz who plays Angelina, the pirate daughter of Blackbeard and love interest of Jack Sparrow. Cruz does an excellent job of making Angelina an interesting character – this is what Nightly's character should've been like! Angelina and Jack make an exciting onscreen couple. Keith Richards is back – for about two minutes – as Jack's father . . . kind of pointless. Our main villain is Blackbeard, who, while he did have a cool introduction, is pretty dull throughout the rest of the film. His connection to Angelina often slows down the plot, like that scene where they play russian roulette to decide if she should jump into a river.

   The good news is that this movie's plot is self-contained and we don't have to wait for the next movie to see how it ends! (Yes, I'm still miffed about that.) This movie left out Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan from the other films, but that's OK. I always thought they were unnecessary. Now we can focus on Jack Sparrow and his adventures. The plot isn't as confusing and messed up as the second and third movies, but it's still somewhat needlessly complicated. Like the other movies, this one has decent physical humour and fun fight scenes, like that one fight near the beginning where Jack seemingly fights himself. Also cool, this movie has mermaids! Beautiful, highly intimidating, vampiric, man-eating mermaids. Cool.

   But this movie also has plot holes big enough to fit a pirate ship. Like where'd that prophecy about Blackbeard's death come from? It's just brought out of nowhere and never explained, that's where! So if Blackbeard doesn't want to be killed, why doesn't he just “zombify” himself like he did to some of his crew? By the way, there's a semi-pointless romance between a clergyman and a mermaid which sort of takes the place of the Will/Elizabeth romance. In the end, their fates are completely unexplained. Did the clergyman die of his wounds? Since Angelina drank from the fountain of youth (as a means of healing her mortal wounds) does this mean that she lives forever? No one says a word regarding this matter, so who knows? Putting together shreds of plot give only tattered answers.

   In short, this movie is only slightly better than the second and third POTC movies. If you're a POTC fan, check it out. You'll probably like seeing it once. If you're tired of pirates movies, then I wouldn't recommend this one. It just doesn't bring anything fresh to the franchise.

Final Rating: two and a half out of five.