Video games are so cool in that they
try either to create new worlds for the player to be a part of or to
recreate the real world and allow the player to run amok and
manipulate. This is what makes glitches in video games especially
amusing; the immersion is broken by something outlandishly messed up.
So I thought it would be fun to display some of the most amusing
video game glitches/oddities that I've happened to catch on camera.
Since there's so many I want to show you, this will be a series
spanning 3 weeks. This week's theme is funny death poses.
Our first silly death pose comes from
Call of Duty 3 (2006). This happened in the mission in which
you're with the French resistance destroying German artillery. After
dispatching the boches with a grenade I discovered this one dead guy
standing like this. I guess the grenade went off while he was doing
belgian squats. Either that or, judging by his hands' placement, he's
trying to thrust his dick at you. Doesn't explain what his leg is
doing back there, though.
It's too bad I didn't get this one on
video, because this was a pretty weird one. This guy is one of those
pyromaniac pirates found in Far Cry 3 (2012). As most gamers
know, these guys can be set ablaze by sniping their molotov cocktails
from afar, which is what I did. However, this guy appeared to survive
the fire so I spent the next minute or so trying to headshot his ass,
not understanding why it wasn't working. Eventually I crept over and
noticed that he didn't react to me at all and the aiming reticle
didn't turn red when pointed at him. He was technically dead, even
though he was bouncing back and forth, waving his arms around, and
shaking his head about, not unlike his idle (i.e. alive) animation.
And then he blinked out of existence. Yeah...
Gears of War 2 (2008) was a game
that I played a lot and so I found silly stuff all the time,
including funny death poses. This would include everything from
corpses hanging off of things to cadavers missing eyes. Fun stuff.
Probably the best one I captured on film (or as a digital picture,
whatever) was this one of Cole on his knees thrusting his chest out.
All GoW players know how much Cole loves to show off and apparently
this desire extends beyond the grave. The expression on his face
tells you that while he didn't enjoy leaving this world behind he was
satisfied with the way he'll be remembered. “Check out my pecs
forever. Peace out.”
Gears of War: Judgement (2013)
seems to be a much less buggy game than GoW2, but it can still be
good for a laugh here and there. In between the two rooftop horde
modes it seems that one of the locust drones I killed wanted to stick
around and watch round two. He just stood there and never moved and
after about 30 seconds or so of me amusedly walking through him he
disappeared. Aw man. At least I took the picture at the perfect
moment. Baird was right, the grubs did stop fighting.
Rainbow Six Vegas 2 is a pretty
good game, but it can sometimes have that “unfinished” feel to
it, you know? Case in point, I found a bunch of silly bugs in it.
This one here shows what happened when I shot Miguel with a shotgun
at point blank range. He died hanging by his (palm-up) hand,
half-kneeling on the ground. I particularly love how he seems to
staring at his hand as if to say “check this out, guys!”
Hilarious.
Next up, also from R6V2, is a dead guy
bent over a couch. I would say it's funny that he's doing the whole
“my body is ready” pose, except that here he isn't even bent over
on the couch. He's bent over on the air above the couch. I'm
not quite sure how you do that.
Speaking of Rainbow Six, this
next one comes from RS 3 (2003) in which Loiselle's corpse decided to
practice the splits after dying. Either that or he was killed while
he was stretching on the floor, which is really no surprise now is
it?
And lastly we have this lovely spread
from Splinter Cell: Blacklist (2013). I can't remember exactly
how I KO'd/killed this guy, but it looks like Sam broke his spine
across that bar. Or it could be that the guard just fell asleep while
resting against it. I'd believe both.
And that's enough “what the--” for
one week. Stay tuned next week for some more weird video game stuff.
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