All Songs, Best to Worst: Cream

There have been a lot of great rock supergroups over the years, but none of them quite measure up to the high standard established by the first successful supergroup, Cream. The number of bands and artists that have drawn influence from Cream defies quantification. Their soothing, exciting, unorthodox blend of blues and psychedelic rock created a wonderful sound that was often imitated but never duplicated. It also helps that each of its three members – guitarist Eric Clapton, bassist Jack Bruce, and drummer Ginger Baker – were masters of their respective instruments, giving the band a unique talent for free-form instrumental jams. They're a band that I listen to constantly, so to round off this second trilogy of every song countdowns is my list of all of Cream's 34 songs from best to worst. This list includes all of their studio songs from their four albums. The live songs form those albums don't count.

1. “Sunshine of Your Love”, Disraeli Gears (1967)

2. “Toad”, Fresh Cream (1966)

3. “White Room”, Wheels of Fire (1968)

4. “Strange Brew”, DG

5. “Spoonful”, FC

6. “I Feel Free”, FC

7. “Tales of Brave Ulysses”, DG

8. “Sitting on Top of the World”, WoF

9. “Sweet Wine”, FC

10. “NSU”, FC

11. “World of Pain”, DG

12. “We're Going Wrong”, DG

13. “Deserted Cities of the Heart”, WoF

14. “Cat's Squirrel”, FC

15. “Born Under a Bad Sign”, WoF

16. “Dance the Night Away”, DG

17. “Outside Woman Blues”, DG

18. “Those Were the Days”, WoF

19. “Dreaming”, FC

20. “Rollin' and Tumblin'”, FC

21. “Four Until Late”, FC

22. “What a Bringdown”, Goodbye (1969)

23. “Sleepy Time” FC

24. “Blue Condition”, DG

25. “Pressed Rat and Warthog”, WoF

26. “Politician”, WoF

27. “Badge”, G

28. “I'm So Glad”, FC

29. “Take It Back”, DG

30. “As You Said”, WoF

31. “Passing the Time”, WoF

32. “Anyone for Tennis”, G

33. “Mother's Lament”, DG

34. “Doing that Scrapyard Thing”, G

Movie Review - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

   Rogue One: time for another Star Wars movie, apparently. The times between Star Wars film releases is ever-shortening and the money train is simply not allowed to stop on this nearly 40-year-old intellectual property workhorse. Well as long as the films are good then it can't be that big a deal, right?

   Director Gareth Edwards understood this sentiment all too well and decided to take Rogue One in a very different direction than the other Star Wars films. From the very get go – omitting an opening text crawl, jettisoning the familiar Star Wars theme song, and including location title cards – it's clear that Rogue One very much goes for its own style. Classic Star Wars musical themes are used very sparingly, and composer Michael Giaccino creates different sounds in his music using non-orchestral elements. Most importantly, the film's tone is more gritty and hardcore than the other films, incorporating more serious, tragic, and desperate moments. This makes sense, seeing as how Rogue One plays more like an espionage action/thriller and less like the action/adventures we're used to seeing in this series; it feels closer in tone to 2014's Captain America: Winter Soldier than it does last year's The Force Awakens. And while I'm sure that some Star Wars fans won't be open-minded enough to enjoy it, I think that these are good changes. As the first standalone film in the series, not bound by the Skywalker-Force saga, this movie has the freedom to be what it wants, the opportunity to do something different. And I commend it.

   If you didn't know, the story takes place immediately before Episode IV and follows Jyn Erso, who finds herself thrust into the Rebel Alliance to track down her father who has been pressganged into designing a new superweapon for the Empire. It's no secret that the movie details the attempts to steal the Death Star plans and though you might already know how the movie will end, but it's still a treat to see, full of interesting new locations as well as a few neat references to the original trilogy (blue milk!!!!). The first two acts might seem a bit slow to some viewers, but the third act more than makes up for this with all of its big action moments and thrills that you'd expect from a Star Wars film.

   The acting is fine. Felicity Jones (Jyn Erso), Ben Mendelsohn (Director Orson Krennic), Mads Mikkelsen (Galen Erso), and Riz Ahmed (Bodhi Rook) are the standout performers in this one. What's also cool is how Peter Cushing is seemingly brought back from the dead through exceptional digital effects to once again become Grand Moff Tarkin. Lastly, while Darth Vader isn't on screen for long he does leave a strong impression; his scenes are intense. The characters aren't terribly compelling (aside from Jyn Erso), but they're still fun to watch.

   Lastly, the special effects are really on point in Rogue One, perhaps even more so than any other Star Wars film yet. This is especially apparent with the shots of star ships and other large vehicles which is helped by Edwards' keen eye for scaling (see 2014's Godzilla); the ships look so real! Still, some of the alien species don't look all that convincing which is something I don't think CG effects have ever been very good at.

   And that's Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. A fine action movie that tells a different type of story than the rest of the films by delving into the series' mythology. If I had to compare this to last year's The Force Awakens, I think I'd slightly prefer this movie, mostly because it treads new ground and has a more original plot (whereas TFA more or less felt like a remake of A New Hope). Rogue One is the atypical Star Wars flick which I'm sure will turn off some viewers, but if you go into it with an open mind you'll find that there's plenty to enjoy here.

Grade: four out of five.

The Problem with Santa Claus in "Real World" Christmas Movies

   The holiday season is definitely one of my favourite times of the year. Eating good food, relaxing with family, watching Christmas movies... and nitpicking them. Obviously there's a lot of Christmas movies out there and it seems that a good chunk of them have the exact same plot: in a "real" world where people are indifferent towards Santa Claus' existence, one kid discovers that he is very real and must stay true to him/herself in order to continue believing that jolly old St. Nick really exists/proving his existence to the adults.
   "So what's the problem with these movies?" you might be thinking. Think about it, man. The parents are convinced that Santa Claus isn't real. Santa leaves presents behind. On Christmas morning children open up gifts that have Santa's name on it. Why don't the parents ever question this?! Do they not notice the mysterious gifts for their kids that just appeared under their tree out of nowhere? Or do they have terrible memories and can't remember what exactly they got for their kids and just assume that they bought it themselves? Or is there an even more sinister conspiracy behind all this? Maybe the parents so blindingly despise Father Christmas so much that they refuse to acknowledge his existence even in the face of tangible evidence: those anti-Santites.
   Look, I know that movies continuously do the whole "real world, but with Santa" thing all the time in order to set up a whimsical-yet-somewhat-grounded tone that eases the audience into it. But a recurring flaw this glaring simply cannot be ignored. I discovered this problem when I was about nine years old and I can't be the only one to have figured this out. And once you do learn of this plot hole it breaks so many movies, some of which I like very much: The Santa Clause series (1994-2006), Earnest Saves Christmas (1988), Elf (2003), The Polar Express (2004). The list goes on. Even the beloved classic Miracle on 34th Street (1947) is ravaged by this logical failure.
   One explanation I've thought of is that maybe in these movies, Santa only visits the houses of people who believe in him. But even at that, the evidence of presents would surely be seen by non-believers at one point or another. And the parents of the believing kids don't always seem that convinced themselves.
   Oh well. I only nitpick because I care. Personally I slightly prefer Christmas movies that do away with old Chris Kringle: movies like A Christmas Carol (1951), Joyeux Noel (2005), A Christmas Story (1983), Christmas Vacation (1988), It's A Wonderful Life (1946), A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965), and, of course, Die Hard (1988). But that's just me. Christmas can mean many things to many people, so watch whatever movies you like. Eat some tasty food. Have fun with your friends and family. And have a very Merry Christmas, my friends.

All Songs, Best to Worst: Black Sabbath (Original Lineup)

   A legendary, grim, hulking mololith of power and doom which appears every so often when the planets align: this is the perfect way to describe the original line-up of Black Sabbath, the fathers of heavy metal music. People love to have the debate about who exactly invented the genre, with some attributing it to Led Zeppelin, others to bands such as Blue Cheer or Cream. While there were certainly many bands that produced hard rock, Black Sabbath was much different. They down-tune their guitars, they slightly eased the pace (sometimes), and most importantly they included dark and serious subject matter into their lyrics. With Tony Iommi's incredible riff-writing ability and Ozzy Osbourne's crazed energy, the band embodied a spirit of mystery, unorthodoxy, and raw power. The number of bands that wouldn't exist had it not been for Black Sabbath undoubtedly number in the thousands.

   For me, the original line-up of Black Sabbath is one of those bands whom I would genuinely feel excited about upon picking up one of their albums for the first time. I almost crapped myself when I heard that 3/4 of the original members were getting together to record a new album in 2013, during my lifetime! While I do enjoy the Ronnie James Dio era of Sabbath, their best years were the Ozzy years, no doubt. I'll listen to any one of those nine albums any time. So today, let's pay tribute to one of the all-time greats and rank all 72 of original Black Sabbath's songs. This list will include songs from their debut album (1970) all the way to Never Say Die! (1978), and will also include 2013's 13. Sorry, no live albums. Let's go!

1. “Iron Man”, Paranoid (1970)

2. “Black Sabbath”, Black Sabbath (1970)

3. “War Pigs”, Prnd

4. “Children of the Grave”, Master of Reality (1971)

5. “Paranoid”, Prnd

6. “Symptom of the Universe”, Sabotage (1975)

7. “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath (1973)

8. “Wasp/Behind the Wall of Sleep/Bassically/N.I.B.”, BS

9. “Electric Funeral”, Prnd

10. “End of the Beginning”, 13 (2013)

11. “Hand of Doom”, Prnd

12. “Snowblind”, Vol. 4 (1972)

13. “Supernaut”, V4

14. “A National Acrobat”, SBS

15. “Sweet Leaf”, MoR

16. “The Wizard”, BS

17. “The Thrill of it All”, Sbtg

18. “Lord of This World”, MoR

19. “Wicked World”, BS

20. “Cornucopia”, V4

21. “Planet Caravan”, Prnd

22. “A Bit of Finger/Sleeping Village/Warning”, BS

23. “Age of Reason”, 13

24. “Sabbra Cadabra”, SBS

25. “After Forever”, MoR

26. “Hard Road”, Never Say Die! (1978)

27. “Solitude”, MoR

28. “You Won't Change Me”, Technical Ecstasy (1976)

29. “Killing Yourself to Live”, SBS

30. “Rat Salad”, Prnd

31. “Megalomania”, Sbtg

32. “Loner”, 13

33. “Johnny Blade”, NSD

34. “Hole in the Sky”, Sbtg

35. “Live Forever”, 13

36. “Into the Void”, MoR

37. “Fairies Wear Boots”, Prnd

38. “Under the Sun/Every Day Comes and Goes”, V4

39. “Supertzar”, Sbtg

40. “Looking For Today”, SBS

41. “Wheels of Confusion/The Straightener”, V4

42. “Tomorrow's Dreams”, V4

43. “Dirty Women”, TE

44. “Rock N' Roll Doctor”, TE

45. “Back Street Kids”, TE

46. “St. Vitus' Dance”, V4

47. “Over to You”, NSD

48. “Air Dance”, NSD

49. “The Writ”, Sbtg

50. “Dear Father”, 13

51. “Zeitgeist”, 13

52. “She's Gone”, TE

53. “Damaged Soul”, 13

54. “All Moving Parts (Stand Still)”, TE

55. “Never Say Die”, NSD

56. “Swinging the Chain”, NSD

57. “Spiral Architect”, SBS

58. “Embryo”, MoR

59. “Junior's Eyes”, NSD

60. “Breakout”, NSD

61. “Shock Wave”, NSD

62. “Fluff”, SBS

63. “Laguna Sunrise”, V4

64. “God Is Dead?”, 13

65. “Who Are You?”, Sbtg

66. “Gypsy”, TE

67. “Am I Going Insane? (Radio)”, Sbtg

68. “Don't Start (Too Late)”, Sbtg

69. “Orchid”, MoR

70. “FX”, V4

71. “It's Alright”, TE

72. “Changes”, V4

Movie Review - Doctor Strange

   Doctor Strange: a movie that very much lives up to its title. It's a weird sort of film, probably amazing if you're stoned. Despite not being a remake of the 1978 made-for-television film, is it worth viewing?...Even though this review is extremely late and you've probably already made up your mind? Sorry, 'bout dat.

   Meet Dr. Stephen Strange: brilliant neurosurgeon, all-round douche bag, terrible driver. When a car accident ruins his hands, he loses his ability to do his job, his raison d'etre. But when he runs into the Ancient One and her band of mystics, he discovers a greater power – and danger – than he had ever known before. Overall, it's another origin story plot with many similarities to 2011's Thor, with several scenes that feel like Harry Potter mashed together with Inception. So yeah, Doctor Strange isn't exactly the most original movie to come out this year. I do like how the magic they use in the movies has rules and specific properties and that the sorcerers can't just do whatever they want (a major turn-off for me with movies about magic). It's just too bad that the final battle scene is somewhat anti-climatic, even silly.

   Doctor Strange is filled with some good characters. Benedict Cumberlatch is excellent in the lead role. By the film's final act, his Stephen Strange becomes a very likeable character you'll want to see again (hopefully in a more exciting film than this). It seems a shame he isn't allowed to do his natural voice for this role, but his American accent is pretty good. Tilda Swinton is excellent as the Ancient One. Mads Mikkelsen is alright as the villain Kaecilius even though his character isn't as developed and his makeup looks kind of silly. There's also some fun side characters like Mordo and Wong.

   One of the first things you'll notice about this movie is its dazzling special effects. If you've ever wanted to see Manhattan shuffled around in pieces like a Rubik's Cube, then this is for you. But there were a few production choices I found to be annoying. Like the handheld/shaky camera used during a few conversation scenes for seemingly no reason (especially irritating if you're watching the 3-D version like I was). There's also a couple scenes involving spiritual/mystic technobabble that struggle to hold your attention; even the actors didn't seem much interested in what they were saying. I think a more capable director might've been able to shape these elements more coherently. Instead this ship's captain is Scott Derrickson, a director known mostly for mediocre horror films. This project is of a noticeably higher calibre. At least he's trying something different.

   And that's Doctor Strange: a by-the-numbers superhero origin story which nevertheless manages to be charming and entertaining. The acting is nice, some of the jokes are pretty good, and the action is decent. If you saw it already... good for you. If you didn't, then maybe try giving it a second thought.

Grade: three and a half out of five.

All Songs, Best to Worst: The Police

It's time to bring back the series that I started this past August: ranking an artist's every recorded song from best to worst. This time we're taking a look at The Police. What can I say about The Police that hasn't already been said? They're one of the greatest and most commercially successful rock bands ever. Everybody loves them. The debate about which of their five albums was best still rages on. You can barely go through one day without hearing at least one of their songs, even though they split up back in the mid-1980's. They came of age during the punk era, but added reggae to their style and presented it in a tight, easily digestible pop-rock package. The Police released five albums between 1978 and 1983. They're all great albums and they're pretty easy to find. For this list list I'm including every song from those five albums, nothing more, nothing less. Also, this is just my personal take on things; feel free to disagree. So join me as we count down all of The Police's 53 songs, from best to worst.

1. “Walking on the Moon”, Regatta de Blanc (1979)

2. “Don't Stand So Close to Me”, Zenyatta Mondatta (1980)

3. “Message in a Bottle”, RdB

4. “Every Breath You Take”, Synchronicity (1983)

5. “Next to You”, Outlandos d'Amour (1978)

6. “Roxanne”, OdA

7. “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”, Ghost in the Machine (1981)

8. “Can't Stand Losing You”, OdA

9. “De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da”, ZM

10. “Synchronicity II”, Sy

11. “Wrapped Around Your Finger”, Sy

12. “Invisible Sun”, GitM

13. “So Lonely”, OdA

14. “Hole in My Life”, OdA

15. “Driven To Tears”, ZM

16. “It's Alright for You”, RdB

17. “When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around”, ZM

18. “Bring On the Night”, RdB

19. “Synchronicity I”, Sy

20. “Bombs Away”, ZM

21. “Truth Hits Everybody”, OdA

22. “The Bed's Too Big Without You”, RdB

23. “One World (Not Three)”, GitM

24. “Spirits in the Material World”, GitM

25. “Omegaman”, GitM

26. “Secret Journey”, GitM

27. “The Other Way of Stopping”, ZM

28. “Walking in Your Footsteps”, Sy

29. “Hungry for You”, GitM

30. “Murder by Numbers”, Sy

31. “Peanuts”, OdA

32. “Regatta de Blanc”, RdB

33. “Does Everyone Stare?”, TdB

34. “Shadows in the Rain”, ZM

35. “Darkness”, GitM

36. “Oh My God”, Sy

37. “Miss Gradenko”, Sy

38. “King of Pain”, Sy

39. “No Time This Time”, RdB

40. “Contact”, RdB

41. “Tea in the Sahara”, Sy

42. “Canary in a Coalmine”, ZM

43. “On Any Other Day”, RdB

44. “Demolition Man”, GitM

45. “Man in a Suitcase”, ZM

46. “Rehumanize Yourself”, GitM

47. “Born in the '50's”, OdA

48. “Masoko Tanga”, OdA

49. “Voices Inside My Head”, ZM

50. “Deathwish”, RdB

51. “Be My Girl – Sally”, OdA

52. “Behind My Camel”, ZM

53. “Mother”, Sy