Talkin' Jive: Guns N' Roses, Part 3

Breakdown. Let's hear it now. Ever since 1992, there have been numerous Guns N' Roses side projects and successor bands. I find this really interesting since the band has never officially broken up. But from 1993 onwards, GNR, with its revolving door of various band members, has recorded new material only very sporadically, releasing only one studio album of original material in the past 25 years. So it's no wonder that GNR members and ex-Gunners alike were itching to play something. So for your amusement, I'm going to do a quick rundown of all the post-Guns N' Roses albums that I've happened to listen to, in chronological order. Before I start, I just want to point out that I'm not a musical mind, so please understand if I don't end up going too in depth. I don't play any instruments, nor have I ever studied music theory or anything like that. But I do know a good song when I hear it. Let's begin.

Izzy Stradlin and the Ju Ju Hounds (1992) by Izzy Stradlin and the Ju Ju Hounds

Rhythm guitarist Izzy Stradlin left GNR in 1991, mainly because he was disinterested in the band's overwhelming superstardom and the ridiculous drama that came along with it. His first solo album was his attempt to get as far away from the Guns N' Roses reputation as possible; not only did he record it without first signing a recording contract, but also the album itself had a very different sound to it than one might expect. I'd say it probably still falls under the “hard rock” category – with a hint of punk and blues – but at a more relaxed mood. Izzy, who was always the coolest and level headed of GNR, takes on singing duties and does it admirably. Lastly, the songs are written rather well: what Izzy was always best at. Overall, it's pretty good: 4/5. The stand out tracks include “Somebody Knockin'” and “Time Gone By”.

Pawnshop Guitars (1994) by Gilby Clarke

After serving as Izzy's replacement on rhythm guitar, Gilby Clarke was basically forced out (depending on who you ask) of Guns N' Roses in 1994. The release of Pawnshop Guitars, his first solo album, pretty much sealed it, despite the record containing guest star appearances from Axl, Duff, and Slash. And it's too bad his stay with GNR was so short, because this album demonstrates his proficiency with song-writing and singing. The lyrics are surprisingly captivating and well-written. Musically, this album sounds a lot like Izzy's first solo album, except maybe just a bit heavier and with a more pronounced vocal style. It's also a bit bluesier, yet still fairly laid-back. In short, this is one of the better post-GNR solo albums out there, a hidden gem: 4.5/5. The best songs here are “Tijuana Jail”, “Pawn Shop Guitars”, and “Hunting Dogs”.

It's Five O'Clock Somewhere (1995) by Slash's Snakepit

Now this is the real deal! This is what Guns N' Roses' follow up to Use Your Illusion II should have been like. As the legend goes, Slash wrote every song on this album and presented them to Axl who then rejected all of them. His loss, because the music on this album so freakin' good! It's the type of face-melting Guns-style hard rock that the fans were so desperately wanting. The only difference is that this batch of tunes is very bluesy, which, if you're familiar with Slash, should come as no surprise. The band also features Gilby Clarke, Matt Sorum, Mike Inez (Alice in Chains) on bass, and Eric Dover (Jellyfish) on vocals. So yeah, it's a band that sounds very similar overall to Guns N' Roses. Cool. This is an amazing album. It didn't sell very well, but it can easily be found on iTunes. I'd highly recommend it to GNR fans who have already heard all the albums but are still hungry for more: 5/5. Best tracks are “Neither Can I”, “Dime Store Rock”, and “Good to Be Alive”.

Contraband (2004) by Velvet Revolver

Featuring Slash, Duff, Matt Sorum, and Stone Temple Pilots' Scott Weiland (on vocals), Velvet Revolver is the most famous of the post-GNR projects. The band made two albums, both of which were real hot sellers; they gave the fans just what they were wanting. But is the music on Contraband any good? It's difficult to say. I don't think many of the songs here are all that memorable, though they are kind of fun to listen to at first. They manage to take on both a hedonistic and harsh tone at the same time, as if there was no clear direction the album was supposed to take. In a way it reflects the musicians behind the music: middle-aged, with their best years behind them, yet still able to churn out some intense tunes. It's just too bad that the album as a whole sounds unfocused and (almost) generic. The album isn't bad, but at the same time it doesn't sound like anything special, which is what one would expect it to sound like: 3/5. Standout tracks are “You Got No Right”, “Dirty Little Thing”, “Loving the Alien”, and “Slither”.

Libertad (2007) by Velvet Revolver

It's not uncommon for supergroups needing two albums to get it right. The egos of the stars involved need time to gel together and achieve true synergy. On Velvet Revolver's second album, Libertad, the band finally becomes more than the sum of its parts. The songs make more sense than the ones on Contraband, and they're easier/more enjoyable to listen to. It's more cohesive and the melodies are easier to grab on to. Contraband is an album I only occasionally listen to, but Libertad is one that I listen to often: 4/5. The best songs are “Let it Roll”, “Get Out the Door”, “The Last Fight”, and “Gravedancer/Don't Drop that Dime”.

Chinese Democracy (2008) by Guns N' Roses

Yup, I am including this one on my list. I don't think the band that made Chinese Democracy should truly be called Guns N' Roses. First off, there's only one classic lineup member remaining. Second, this album sounds very, very different from the GNR that we're all familiar with. Its sound is really synth-heavy, and it combines several different musical styles together including hard rock, industrial, avant garde/experimental, symphonic rock, and funk/groove rock. It's epic, grandiose, and the perfect example of an obsessive artist who has taken his artform to its creative extreme. The album sounds very finely produced, which makes sense considering that the thing was in the works for approximately 12 years – becoming the most expensive album ever made in the process. The lyrics are exactly what one would expect of an aging, bitter, egotistical personality such as Axl. All in all, this album is quite good. Just keep in mind, it's an album you have to listen to on its own terms (it took me a few tries until I finally started enjoying it). Just curb your expectations, and take it as it is: 4/5. Best tracks are “Better”, “Street of Dreams”, and “There Was a Time”.

Slash (2010) by Slash

Poor Slash. I mean the guy was involved in not one but two larger-than-life rock bands that broke up due to the egos of their singers. Finding a steady singer is the bane of that man's existence. So for his first solo album, the Slash man just said screw it and brought in a bunch of guest stars to sing (as well as other musicians). Brilliant! ...Right? The guests range from old rockers – Lemmy, Ozzy, Iggy – to 90's stars – Chris Cornell, Kid Rock, Dave Grohl – and modern crap like Fergie and Adam Levine. OK, to be honest, the song featuring Fergie - “Beautiful Dangerous” - is actually pretty awesome. I wish I could say the same for the other songs. Yes, this album's greatest flaw is that most of the songs are extremely bland and forgettable. It also doesn't help that the variety in musical styles seems too wide, and not always suited to Slash's style of play. This is especially apparent on tracks like Cornell's “Promise” and Kid Rock's “I Hold On”. Slash himself sounds just as good as ever, but that won't change the fact that this is an album you won't be listening to too often: 2.5/5. Best songs are “Beautiful Dangerous”, “Back from Cali” (with Myles Kennedy), and “Watch This, Dave” (with Dave Grohl and Duff McKagan).

Apocalyptic Love (2012) by Slash

It's hard to keep a good man like Slash down. Myles Kennedy might not be the best rock singer around, but he's easy enough to work with, and for someone as desperate for a singer as Slash is, that's good enough. On Slash's second album, the overall mood is more laid back, with the songs sticking to Slash's familiar hard rock territory (with the exception of a couple songs). This mood permeates the music itself, making Apocalyptic Love an easier album to listen to than its predecessor. The only surprises here is that the best songs are the slower ones that give way to orchestral theatrics (“Anastasia”). It's an OK album. It's not great, but it makes way more sense than 2010's Slash: 3/5. Standout tracks include “One Last Thrill”, “Anastasia”, and “Far and Away”.

World on Fire (2014) by Slash

Now this is the Slash album we've been waiting for! Seventeen tracks of intense, high-octane fun. That's the perfect way to describe World on Fire: pure fun. Nearly every song has a memorable riff and at least one really catchy part. Even Kennedy sounds really good; he now harmonizes with himself on most tracks, and it sounds alright. Aside from all this, World on Fire isn't too much different than Apocalyptic Love. But I've found it to be much more enjoyable, especially if you listen to it in its entirety rather than song by song. Slash fans, rejoice: 4/5. This album's best songs are “Automatic Overdrive”, “Bent to Fly”, “Iris of the Storm”, and “The Unholy.”

Talkin' Jive: Guns N' Roses, Part 2

   Welcome to the jungle, and we're in deep because this week we're taking a look at the two-disc box set known as Attitude for Destruction – not “Appetite”. “Attitude.” If you haven't heard of it, Attitude for Destruction is a collection of Guns N' Roses covers and other related songs performed by related acts as well as former members of the band. Or at least that's the closest description I can think of. It came out (or was at least manufactured) in 2007. I found it lying in a Walmart in 2012 for about $12. I picked it up out of morbid curiosity.

   I've tried doing some research on this thing – tried, since info on this bad boy was not easy to find – and it evidently has the same name and cover art as a low budget 2008 horror movie from Los Angeles, so I think it's fair to assume that this is that movie's soundtrack. The movie (which I haven't seen, by the way) is about some Sunset Strip hard rocker who's murdered but then reanimated so that he can exact his bloody revenge. (Kinda reminds me of 1994's The Crow.) The main character sings in a band called Hollywood Roses – not “Rose”. “Roses.” The guys who came up with this thing really didn't have a flair for original titles/names, did they? I don't know; maybe the band is a parody of Guns N' Roses and that's why the names are so similar, but I'm just speculating here.

   Let's talk about the packaging. Each CD comes in two jewel cases which are inside a cardboard sleeve (can't call it a box if it has no ends!). The sleeve is really loose so you've got to grip it tight lest the cases fall out and break. The cover art looks pretty awesome, almost like something that you could actually see on GNR promotional material. Too bad the backs of the cases suck. Since this album is all about the guest stars, every song needs a whole line explaining what it's about. And it isn't even arranged stylistically or anything. It looks like a bullet-point list mashed into a paragraph format. It makes it rather tedious to look up any particular song's name. One song, LA Guns' “Love and Hate”, is incorrectly listed as “Sex Action” (which is the name of a different LA Guns song, by the way). Also, for some reason, every instance of the band Hollywood Rose is noted with an asterisk reminding the listener of that band's lineup, as if any hardcore GNR fan – pretty much the only type of person who would buy this – wouldn't already know that.

   Now for the music itself. The assortment of songs is definitely a mixed bag. Out of a total of 28 songs, there's only one original song: “Last Cigarette”, by Hollywood Roses featuring Teddy Zig Zag. It's slow tempo, really average, and the organ makes it sound out of place for a GNR-inspired track. All the other songs fall into two categories: covers and rips.

   First, the rips, the songs that were obviously culled from somewhere else. Half of them are various classics from LA Guns. These tracks are quite awesome, even if they do have more of a glam rock sound than the hard rock sound that Guns N' Roses was known for. If nothing else, the LA Guns songs are energetic and good for banging one's head to. The other half of the rips are old songs from Hollywood Rose, Axl Rose's and Izzy Stradlin's first Los Angeles-based band. Predating the formation of GNR by a year, it's an interesting bit of the band's history, but they're the exact same (original demo) versions found on the 2004 album The Roots of Guns N' Roses.

   Attitude for Destruction's covers are much more varied. Almost every song from Appetite for Destruction is covered here, but not always well. The covers of “Used to Love Her” (featuring John Corabi, Tracii Guns, and Gilby Clarke), “Sweet Child O' Mine” (Guns, Clarke), and “You're Crazy” (Guns, Clarke, and Stevie Rachelle) all sound great by virtue of their commendable guitars and serviceable vocals. Conversely, songs like “It's So Easy” (Guns, Clarke, and Fred Coury) and “Mr. Brownstone” (Guns, Clarke, and Bang Tango) are so-so because of their lazy vocals and uninspired guitar work, respectively. And then there's the bad covers, like “Patience” (Guns, Clarke, Corabi) which is missing the whole guitar solo and half the lyrics. Where did they go? And don't get me started on “Paradise City” (Guns, Gilby Clarke, Kory Clarke) and “Don't Cry” (Guns, Clarke, and Spike... whoever the hell that is). Each of these songs have some of the worst singing I've ever heard in hard rock. It sounds like a higher-pitched Trent from Daria trying to whisper-shout the lyrics after smoking a whole truckload of cigarettes. I'd say the best GNR cover songs on this album are “Sweet Child O' Mine” and “You're Crazy”.

   There are some covers of other bands' songs too, most of which were ripped from somewhere else. These range from Alice Cooper's “No More Mr. Nice Guy” (featuring Slash and Roger Daltrey), to Aerosmith's “Toys in the Attic” (Tracii Guns and Stephen Pearcy), to a cool punked-up version of Alice Cooper's “Elected” (Duff McKagan, Matt Sorum, Steve Jones, and Billy Duffy). Ratt's “Lay it Down” is covered by Tracii Guns and Stephen Pearcy in a rendition that's heavier, yet stripped-down and less energetic than the original. Teddy Zig Zag (of all people) pops in for a puzzling performance of Garth Brooks' “Friends in Low Places” with a rock twist to it. It sounds OK, but I don't think it really fits in with the rest of the album. Speaking of not fitting in, the final track covers the Moody Blues' “Gypsy”, featuring Slash and Tommy Shaw. Seriously? Not only does this synth-heavy tune sound absolutely nothing like Guns N' Roses, but also Slash is barely in this thing. He does a short solo towards the end which isn't even all that remarkable. This progressive rock stuff belongs with bands like Dream Theatre, not hard rockers like Guns N' Roses!

   So that's Attitude for Destruction, a mixed bag, to say the least. In a strange way, it really does live up to its title. Attitude comes from a mood, and this album, in providing a vast yet concise spectrum of 1980's hard rock and glam metal, pretty well captures the mood of Guns N' Roses' music: hard, fast, and reckless rock n' roll. If you're a hardcore GNR fan (and if you can find this for cheap, which it usually is) you may want to consider checking it out; I still have my copy. Just remember to keep the skip button handy.

Stay tuned for the third and final part in my Guns N' Roses series, where we run though all of the post-GNR albums.

Movie Review - God's Not Dead 2

   Oh yeah, this is real. If you've read my review on the first God's Not Dead movie (posted in January), then you'll already know what my thoughts are on it. But it ended up turning a decent profit off a minuscule budget, so might as well sequel this stuff up. So how does God's Not Dead 2 measure up against the first? Let's take a look. (And again, it may be helpful for me to point out that I am an Evangelical Protestant.)

   If you didn't already know, God's Not Dead 2 is about an Arkansas high school teacher who is brought to court because she briefly mentioned Jesus' teachings in her history class. So she has to publicly defend her faith against the overbearing establishment lest she loses everything. By the end, viewers will realize that this is pretty much the exact same plot as the first movie. Even a lot of the subplots are the same, right down to the abusive foreign father who disowns his kid, the unmarried woman who's pressured to find a mate by her elderly/infirm parent, reverend Dave suffering various misfortunes and – of course – the Newsboys chillin' out with their friend Amy. It's also a plot that involves a lot of characters from far away places just suddenly showing up unannounced, like Martin's dad (from China) or Reverend Jude (from somewhere in Sub-Saharan Africa, they never say where exactly).

   Let's take a minute to talk about this movie's message. God's Not Dead 2 actually does make a slight effort at portraying relatable and sympathetic issues. For example, after fully recovering from her cancer, Amy is left wondering whether she still needs God in her life, etc. Unlike the first movie, this one has a few brief thought-provoking moments in it. It's just too bad that they're mostly relegated to the subplots; the main plot line literally feels like sitting through a sermon. I will acknowledge that the court case in this movie is more interesting and well done than the debate in the last movie, even if it does seem to drag on a bit at times and the logic progresses somewhat slowly. Even so, the movie is still very one-sided with its theme. Just like the previous film, it doesn't present a balanced conversation of its themes and instead remains content playing the “victim card” throughout while also making a few political knocks against organizations like the ACLU. At times God's Not Dead 2 even seems to promote paranoid and alarmist ideas.

   The film is also littered with plot holes. For instance, what was the point of Reverend Dave refusing to take part in the subpoena? Did the intimidating chicken wing dude just forget about it? (Update: Apparently this plot line is resolved in a post-credits scene. That's right, they actually expect you to sit through the credits for this thing!) Also, according to this movie Amy has a niece, which implies that she also has at least one sibling. This contradicts the first movie, in which Amy said that she had no one who cared about her.

   And now for the acting. It's mostly passable. The two leads, Melissa Joan Hart and Jesse Metcalfe, do an alright job. The rest is just so-so. One noticeable difference between this film and the first is that this time around not every non-Christian character is a worthless cretin. No, this time there's only one. He's the militant atheist state prosecutor Pete Kane, played by Ray Wise (what, was Bob Gunton unavailable?).

   As for the production, it's the same as before: unremarkable cinematography, poor sound editing (especially when it comes to background noise in outdoor shots), and possibly recycled footage (we see probably two dozen or so establishing flyover shots of the Arkansas state capitol). Also, there's no Duck Dynasty characters present. Lame!

   In short, God's Not Dead 2 is noticeably better than its predecessor, but that isn't really saying much. Although it has the same plot as before, it does show a bit more of an attempt to humanize its characters and the situations that they're in. On the other hand it remains just as preachy and black-and-white, but even less laughable. If you liked the first God's Not Dead then you're definitely going to like this. If not, then try reading a Bible instead.

Grade: one-and-a-half out of five.

Talkin' Jive: Guns N' Roses, Part 1

   No, your eyes have not deceived you. This is really happening. There are now three classic lineup members of Guns N' Roses playing together. Axl Rose, Duff McKagan, and Slash are now touring together to rock the collective socks off of 25 North American cities this summer. And I couldn't be happier. As a huge Guns N' Roses fan, I just couldn't believe the news that 3/5 of the classic lineup was back together under the GNR banner (the 2012 Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame show doesn't count). But now that it's finally happening we can now start celebrating. And it seems that retail stores are all too happy to assist with the sudden surge in GNR music being stocked on all the shelves (yeah I still buy physical music formats. You wanna fight about it?). This includes everything from the classic albums, to the reinvented modern sound of Chinese Democracy, to the just plain odd stuff like the greatest hits album and other weird crap. So for these next couple of weeks or so, I'm gonna share my thoughts on some of the more peculiar GNR-related music that I've happened to listen to.

   This week I'm gonna talk about the compilation album Greatest Hits. Greatest Hits was released against Axl's wishes in 2004, as record executives were getting frustrated with the long-awaited-yet-constantly-postponed release of Chinese Democracy. This was actually the first Guns N' Roses album I ever listened to, and at the time I thought it was great. The music rocked and it made me want to go out and buy the other albums, which I soon did. It wasn't until I became a hardcore fan that I realized that this compilation package was lacking and could have been much, much better.

   My first complaint is that the track list contains too many cover songs. All in all, five of the album's fourteen songs are covers. Five! That's 36% of the stuff on here, written and made by someone else. If it was just one or two, then I could accept that. But 5/14?! The only one of those cover songs that deserves to be on this Greatest Hits album is “Live and Let Die” because that one was actually quite popular. Maybe it's just me, but cover songs should either be doled out piecemeal or just bundled together into an entire album – like 1993's The Spaghetti Incident? – and not taking up a substantial fraction of the total run time. And of a greatest hits album, no less! When I buy a greatest hits album of a band like Guns N' Roses, it's because I want to hear what Guns N' Roses sounds like. Not the Skyliners, the Rolling Stones, or Bob Dylan!

   This relates to the second problem: the selection of tracks is a bit peculiar. Although the album's length is fair (14 tracks) and pretty much all the key hits were included – “Welcome to the Jungle”, “Sweet Child of Mine”, “Paradise City”, “November Rain” – the mix could have been better. Aside from the overabundance of covers there's a bunch of random songs just thrown on here not because they captured the spirit of the band in its heyday, but rather simply because these songs were released as singles. “You Could Be Mine”, “Yesterdays”: who cares about those? Getting rid of those two and most of the cover songs could have made room for some underrated GNR classics that truly represented the band at its finest. They could have included songs like “Reckless Life”, “Night Train”, “Mr. Brownstone”, “Double Talkin' Jive”, “Bad Apples”, “Coma”, or “Locomotive”. A greatest hits album full of these songs would have been brilliant.

   But all of these complaints aside, Greatest Hits isn't bad. It was really successful too. It debuted at number three on the Billboard charts – despite getting almost zero promotion – and topped the charts in several other countries. With over 5 million copies sold in the US, it's proof that there still very much exists an appetite for hard rock. If nothing else, it's good that there's an album like this to fuel the public's taste for good old hard rock. This particular greatest hits album is listenable enough. Just keep in mind that you're being cheated out of a proper set of essential Guns N' Roses songs. Honestly, if you're interested in this band and want to hear more, then I'd recommend just buying the original studio albums, Appetite for Destruction and Use Your Illusion I & II. They're some of the finest hard rock albums ever made and it's so easy to find them (especially now).

   That does it for Greatest Hits. Hope you enjoyed it. Next time I'll go over the soundtrack/bootleg/whatever known as Guns Box: Attitude for Destruction.

Bond Film Rankings - Part 2

Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy couple of weeks. To make up for it I've decided to post this a little early today. Enjoy, the conclusion to my personal rankings of the James Bond films - this time from numbers 12 to 1.

12 – Live and Let Die (1973)

And here we have what I believe (at the moment) to be the best of the Roger Moore Bond flicks. In his first outing as agent 007, Moore does an admirable job and plays his part with confidence. What's so strange about LaLD is that it's basically just a blaxploitation film with James Bond in it. This sounds stupid, but it's actually a bit of good fun. It takes Bond to some fascinating locations and through some great action set pieces. True, some of the humour is dumb and while I don't hate Solitaire (the Bond girl) I don't quite see why everyone adores her so much. But 'dat theme song, though. One complaint I often hear from non-Bond fans is that all the movies are the same. This is the one I point out to them in retort.

11 – Spectre (2015)

Maybe it's unfair to list Spectre in the top half of this list (though I guess 11/24 is close to the middle) since I've only seen it once. But when I compare it against the other movies of this series I was surprised at how much I like it. I just reviewed this film in November so I won't go too much into detail here. Spectre isn't brilliant, but it is enjoyable and presents a satisfying conclusion to the Daniel Craig saga, which is taken back into a more traditional style of Bond films, what with henchmen, SPECTRE, Blofeld, and a more traditional romance. It's a classic Bond for the 21^st century.

10 – License to Kill (1989)

This is another one of those “different” Bond films. That is to say this is a really violent revenge film in which James Bond – played by a moody Timothy Dalton – is basically the Punisher. Instead of an evil genius trying to take over the world our villain is a drug lord who's above the law. Instead of an official mission, Bond has gone rogue – on a personal vendetta to avenge his best friend – trying to stay one step ahead of MI6. Instead of attacking head on, Bond goes undercover, getting close to his prey by posing as an enforcer. There's a sizable group of people who don't like this film – and I must admit, the part with the ninjas was just weird – but I find that if you give it a chance License to Kill provides an entertaining and fascinating look at a side of Bond that we don't often see.

9 – Thunderball (1965)

This is where we get into the “really good” films territory. Thunderball is just one of those classic Bond films that delivers the goods in all of the normal Bondian departments. The action, the girls, the gadgets, the villain, the theme song, the locations, the acting are all spot-on. The well-choreographed underwater fight scenes were especially impressive. Sure, this was the point at which the gadgetry and action started to overshadow the plot. But it's still a fine Bond film, in my opinion.

8 – The Living Daylights (1987)

I first saw The Living Daylights while I was powering through the 23-film blu ray box set and I instantly fell in love with it. Having never before seen a Timothy Dalton 007 film, I was blown away by how intense and thrilling this one was. Dalton's ruthless performance does away with the silliness of the Moore-era films and sticks closer to the agent depicted in Ian Fleming's novels (which Dalton was frequently spotted reading on the set). What also makes TLD stand apart from the others is how there's only one Bond girl throughout the film, Kara Milovy, which presents a more romantic dimension that's missing from most other Bond films. Also, the locations are very interesting late-Cold War locales: Austria, Czechoslovakia, and Afghanistan. All in all, TLD took the Bond formula and updated it for the late 1980's while at the same time keeping it timeless. Sure, the villains aren't that memorable, but I still consider The Living Daylights to be a great underrated Bond adventure. I'm surprised that I hadn't heard of it before watching it.

7 – From Russia With Love (1963)

If someone comes along as asks you what the most classic Bond film ever is, answer with this one. Everything about this film – from the action, locations, characters, villains – is so unforgettable. And Sean Connery delivers possibly his best 007 performance ever. And for a 1960's spy-action flick, it's surprisingly realistic, retaining the intense substance of Fleming's original novel. It's as if they took Dr. No, and added 50% more awesome. FRWL is 60's action at its finest.

6 – You Only Live Twice (1967)

YOLT was the first Bond flick I saw that starred Sean Connery, and I was blown away by how terrific it was. This was the first true big 007 film. The sets were huge and impressive. The stakes had never been higher, with the fate of the world in the balance. The action has viewers on the edge of their seats, especially with the huge ninja-gun battle at the end. And best of all, we finally get to meet Ernst Stavro Blofeld, SPECTRE's commander, face to face with a fantastic performance by Donald Pleasance. You Only Live Twice is so much fun, you'll find yourself willing to forgive such shortcomings as the fact that sometimes the sets/gadgets overshadow the story, or that the Bond girls this time around are pretty forgettable. In short, YOLT is the quintessential extravagant spy-action movie that's often imitated yet seldom duplicated.

5 – Goldeneye (1995)

It seems that people from my generation just absolutely adore this film, and I'm not going to argue with them. Out of all the Bond films, this one has the best cast of characters – especially villains – and probably the best direction. This keeps the action up close and personal and it allows the dialogue to be intriguing enough. Judi Dench makes a fine new M, who is now an actual character instead of just a standard “boss” stereotype. In his first mission as the renowned agent 007, Pierce Brosnan delivers a well-rounded portrayal in the same vein as Connery himself. The locations are nice too. It took them 33 years, but they finally set a Bond film in Moscow, proving that the end of the Cold War is no hindrance to this immortal series. And this entry here is a modern Bond classic. Sign me up!

4 – On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

I know a lot of people really hate George Lazenby and a lot of people really hate this movie. But I'm not one of them. Look, Lazenby may have acted like a total douche in his refusal to do any future Bond roles – turning down a huge opportunity in the process – but his performance in On Her Majesty's Secret Service is really good. His on-screen presence is impeccable; not quite as good as Connery's, but in the same ball park at least. He even manages to bring a dimension of emotional vulnerability to the role, something a lot of other Bond actors could not. As a whole, OHMSS is an exciting and well-put-together action film. The setting is neat, the plot is gripping, and the characters are fun to watch. Blofeld is back, this time handily (and more actively) by Telly Savalas. And the Bond girl this time around, Contessa Teresa Di Vicenzo (or just Tracey), plays such a huge role that it makes for one of the series' most memorable romances, mainly thanks to Diana Rigg's performance. All this culminates in the saddest ending of the series. All in all, OHMSS is a wonderful, classic Bond film. If this had been the last one and the series ended up being a hexology, it would undoubtedly be the finest, most high-caliber series of action films ever.

3 – Skyfall (2012)

The period after Quantum of Solace was when I truly became a 007 fan (shocking, I know), which made Skyfall the first Bond film that I actively anticipated. And man, it did not disappoint! For the first time Daniel Craig truly hits his stride and fully embodies the character of James Bond. He spent Casino Royale becoming the character we know and love, and QoS was too poorly written to give Craig much of a chance. But here, he's excellent. With Skyfall, the series sees the return of such classic regulars such as Q and Ms. Moneypenny, while at the same time giving us a rare glimpse into Bond's personal past. I also have to mention what a worthy sendoff we get for Judi Dench's M, who I guess takes the place of the standard Bond girl here. No matter! This movie does so many things right, it'd be impossible to list them all here. What a great film.

2 – Goldfinger (1964)

What else can I say about Goldfinger that hasn't already been said? It's easily the best of the classic Bond movies and often regarded as the best of them all. It's the one film that all others are measured up against – insert obligatory “gold standard” joke here – and it has every last one of the elements that make a great Bond film: fantastic action, smooth one-liners, captivating acting, a smart villain, cool gadgets, an excellent theme song, and a lovable Bond girl with a rather provocative name. Goldfinger simply does everything right. And it's only number two on this list.

1 – Casino Royale (2006)

And my choice for number one Bond film ever – from both a subjective and objective point of view – comes as no surprise here. Casino Royale was actually the first 007 film I ever saw and I was lucky enough to have seen it theatres too. From the opening scene, theme song, and credit sequence I was fully captivated. After seeing all the other films, I very much appreciate this one's revival of the gritty and intense Bond that Dalton brought about nearly 20 years earlier, while at the same time showing us a more emotionally-charged agent 007 who at this point in his career is still overconfident and makes mistakes. It's a more human side to the character of James Bond, and that's one of the reasons why I really like Daniel Craig as Bond. I also don't mind that CR is a reboot; it brought the series back to basics – via jettisoning the outlandish gadgets, elaborate special effects, and cartoony action sequences – at a time when it desperately needed it. And it doesn't hurt that this film has some of the series' most intense action scenes ever. In short, I believe that Casino Royale is one of the best action movies of this century and it is easily my pick as the best James Bond film ever made.

Movie Review Repost - Man of Steel (2013)

Hey fellas. So I was pretty busy this week, unable to write much (though next week will be the second half to my James Bond film rankings, I assure you), and I thought since I've just reviewed the Batman Vs. Superman movie, I might as well share my original thoughts on it's predecessor, the Man of Steel movie. Enjoy!

   Another Superman reboot? Sure, why not. Two and a half hours? Oh, come on!

   So the plot not only shows us the demise of Krypton and the origin of Superman, but also General Zod's attempt at rebuilding Krypton on the ruins of a depopulated Earth (he doesn't want to share Earth with the humans because then all the Kryptonians would have to go through ten minutes of mild discomfort; discomfort that even a baby was able to endure). This includes lots of interspliced, non sequitur flashbacks which become rather irritating after intermittently enduring over an hour of them (even if they are rather well done). Seriously, red flags should appear if your superhero's origin story lasts longer than an hour. There's also the pretty much mandatory romance between Lois and Clark. It isn't developed very far (which actually makes sense since given how automatically it started).

   Just like her other-media counterparts, Lois Lane (Amy Adams) is a curious reporter who is often in danger and in need of saving. Pa Kent (Kevin Costner), on the other hand, is a good father who for some reason died to save his dog from a tornado. Dummy. Henry Cavill does a nice job at portraying Superman's human side and the moral dilemmas that he faces. In short, most of the acting is competent enough. 

   The same can't be said for the fight scenes. All of the fight scenes from the film's first hour suffer from that really incomprehensible, choppy editing that a lot of action movies have nowadays. But once Superman starts fighting General Zod and his minions the fights suddenly become much clearer and easier on the eyes. And these fights look amazing thanks to the sophisticated CGI. Admittedly, the final fight between Zod and Superman does last a little too long.

   This is where the movie starts to get really campy. The kind of campiness that comes from unintentionally funny lines, silly-looking fight moves, over-the-top villains, and Wilhelm Screams.

   In short, Man of Steel is an uneven movie that attempts to balance an unoriginal plot and campy goofiness with good acting and intense action. These elements don't mix well. Superhero fans might like it, but general action movie fans might not. It's average. (Note: If you do decide to watch this flick, don't be afraid to see it in 3D. The 3D actually isn't pointless here like it usually is.)

Final rating: two and a half stars out of five.