How My Out-of-Five System Works

You've probably noticed that I like to use an “out of five” star system for grading the movies that I review. It seems that nowadays, on the internet, you're only allowed to absolutely love or absolutely hate whatever piece of media it is that you're talking about. But that's not how I roll. I like to give an overall judgement to my media, weigh its positives and negatives. But some people still don't get it. They'll say to me, “Tony, you gave that movie three-and-a-half stars! Why didn't you like it?” So for this reason, I'd like to take a minute here to break down the out-of-five system into grades and explain just how it really works.

5/5 – Simply put, a five star movie is a must-see. It's a movie that draws you in so well, that it's easy to forget that it isn't real. You'll very much care about what's happening. A five star movie is one that all others of its respective genre will be compared to in the near future. Not all 5/5 movies are perfect, but they render their stories, characters, and themes so convincingly that any problems those films might have are inconsequential to the viewing experience. Very few will be disappointed in viewing this flick. Examples of 5/5 films I've reviewed are Looper, Gravity, and Mad Max: Fury Road.

4.5/5 – Four-and-a-half movies are excellent, very well done. They're not quite must-see material, but anyone who was looking forward to this particular film will be very satisfied. These are also the types of films one might very well consider buying once they're released. It may have a couple issues, but the viewer will most likely be willing to ignore/forgive them for the sheer awesomeness that is packed into this viewing experience. Films that I've awarded 4.5 to include Saving Mr. Banks, The Lego Movie, Interstellar, and Skyfall.

4/5 – A four star film is a solid film, sufficiently accomplishing almost everything it sets out to do. The vast majority of its viewers will be satisfied and adequately entertained. These types of movies are memorable and are well worth rewatching in the near future. One or two things about it might bug you, but it was still a good movie so who cares, right? Just a few tweaks here and there could have made it a true classic, but it was still worth it. Movies that I'd place into the 4/5 category include Captain America: First Avenger, 22 Jump Street, and Monsters University.

3.5/5 – This is where the “pretty good” movies go. These types of films are better than most, but they still could have been done considerably better. While there will probably be lots of viewers who like it, even they will have to acknowledge that the flick had some flaws. This is also where I'll place a lot of movies that were disappointing (as opposed to outright bad). Nothing great, but you'll probably be satisfied, nonetheless. Time well spent. Movies that I classify as 3.5/5 include Fury, Jurassic World, Men in Black 3, and Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

3/5 – Popcorn territory. It may not be your thinking man's movie, but it's good for some mindless, casual entertainment. Three star films are not for everyone and they're far from being works of art, but if you're in the right mindset to watch it then you won't regret it. Just keep in mind that it demands that you view it on its own terms. When I give a three to a film, you can take that as a cautious recommendation. I've given 3/5 to such movies as Furious 7, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and Lone Survivor.

2.5/5 – Distinctly middle of the road, two-and-a-half movies are average at best. It may be hard to take seriously, it may include several glaring/distracting issues, or it was just was boring to sit through. Unless you were really looking forward to this film, you'll likely walk away feeling indifferent towards it. It may also just be a niche film for a specific group of fans or it may have been the best that could've possibly been done with a flawed original concept. There's a lot of good parts to it, but whether or not you'll want to put up with the bad stuff is up in the air. Still, more needed to be done to make this presentable. These films are destined to be forgotten. They include Bourne Legacy, Olympus Has Fallen, The Three Stooges, and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

2/5 – Movies that are graded at two out of five are below average. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone who lists a 2/5 movie as their all-time favourite. These types of films can really only be recommended for hardcore fans of whatever it is that's being portrayed. There's still some cool bits, but it's hard to get into them because of all the other failures going on. If you value your time and/or money, then you'd be better off spending them elsewhere. Examples of 2/5 movies I've reviewed are Watchmen, Lucy, and Apollo 18.

1.5/5 – A movie that can only earn one-and-a-half stars is a dumb movie. It's the kind of flick that you'd probably regret sitting through. There may have been just a couple of good ideas, but they're almost totally drowned out either by utter stupidity or overwhelming boredom – or both. An overall poor effort at worthwhile entertainment. Few viewers will feel that they got their money's worth with this one. Examples of 1.5/5 movies would be Lone Ranger, After Earth, and 30 Minutes or Less.

1/5 – Now this is what you call a really dumb movie; the kind of movie that is so inept in everything it attempts (story, acting, effects, mood/tone) that it is impossible to take seriously. This is also the category where you will find so-bad-it's-good movies that are funny because of their ineptitude. But other than that, movies that score one out of five are barely watchable. For the morbidly curious only. This includes Meet the Fockers and Transformers: Age of Extinction.

0.5/5 – After really dumb, you've got movies that fall under the freakin' stupid category. No effort was put into making this unwatchable... thing. Half-star movies earn their grade either by being insulting, infuriating, or dumbfoundingly boring. The whole thing is littered with fundamental filmmaking flaws like incompetently executed dialogue, plot, and even editing. Stay away. I have yet to write a review for a movie that's this bad, but I would consider movies like Mac and Me, North, and Son of the Mask to fall in here.

0/5 – It's rare for a movie to achieve a zero-out-of-five rating. That's because zero star movies are completely worthless, directionless, and absolutely inept. Scarcely a thing was done right, hardly anything pulled off convincingly. A total waste of time. If the film was part of a series, then it must have completely crapped all over the previous entries to have earned this rating. This is also the class where offensively bad films reside; the film either straight-up insults or talks down to its own audience or it puts forth an idea that is just evil or insane. Again, I haven't reviewed any 0/5 films, but I'd imagine films like Highlander: The Source, Nukie, and Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver would feel right at home in this dark abyss. Avoid them at all costs; they're hazardous to your health and well-being.